10 classic mind games narcissists play to manipulate your emotions

Ever felt like you’re constantly on the wrong end of someone’s mood swings? You might be dealing with a narcissist.
These folks are experts at mind games that leave you feeling upset and confused.
In this article, we’ll break down the 10 most common mind games narcissists use to upset your emotional balance.
So, grab a comfy seat and let’s dive into the world of narcissistic mind games. It’s going to be quite the revelation!
1) Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a classic mind game narcissists play.
It’s when they manipulate you into doubting your own memory, perception, or sanity. They might deny things that have happened, or distort facts to make you feel crazy or confused. You might start to question whether your reactions and feelings are justified or not.
Remember, if it feels wrong, it probably is wrong. Don’t let someone else define your reality for you!
2) Playing the victim
No matter what happens, they somehow twist the story so they appear as the victim, and you, the villain.
They do this to manipulate your emotions, making you feel guilty and causing you to go out of your way to make things right.
Don’t fall into this trap! Realize that everyone makes mistakes and it’s not always your responsibility to fix things.
3) Silent treatment
Ah, the good old silent treatment. Narcissists love this one.
They’ll completely ignore you, refusing to acknowledge your presence or respond to you in any way. They do this to make you feel insignificant, or to punish you for something they perceive you’ve done wrong.
Here’s a personal example: I once had a friend who would give me the silent treatment whenever I disagreed with her. She would ignore my calls and messages, sometimes for days, until I apologized. It took me a while to realize that this was a form of manipulation and it was not okay.
Everyone has a right to their opinions and disagreements are part of any healthy relationship.
4) Love bombing
Love bombing is an over-the-top display of affection and adoration that narcissists use to manipulate your emotions.
They shower you with compliments, gifts, and attention to make you feel special. But be wary, this isn’t genuine love or care, it’s a tool they use to control you and keep you hooked.
Here’s an interesting fact: The term “love bombing” was first used in the 1970s to describe the recruitment tactics of certain cults. They would bombard their targets with love and attention to lure them in, just like narcissists do in personal relationships!
5) Devaluation
Devaluation is a heartbreaking tactic narcissists use.
After the love bombing phase, they start to pick at your flaws and criticize you constantly. They do this to lower your self-esteem and make you feel worthless. This makes it easier for them to control you because you start to believe that you don’t deserve better.
It’s so important to remember that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and nobody is perfect. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are. You are unique, valuable, and deserving of respect and love. Always hold on to that truth.
6) Triangulation
Triangulation is when narcissists bring a third person into the dynamic. This can be in the form of an ex-partner, a friend, or even a family member.
They do this to create jealousy and insecurity, to make you vie for their attention and validation.
Let me share a personal story: I dated someone who would constantly bring up his ex in our conversations. He would compare us openly, making me feel like I had to compete for his affection. It took me some time to realize that this was triangulation – a manipulative tactic to keep me off balance.
The thing is, you never have to compete for someone’s love or attention. If someone truly cares for you, they’ll make you feel special without any comparisons.
7) Projection
Here’s the brutal truth: narcissists are masters of projection. They accuse you of the very things they’re guilty of. You see, they can’t handle their own flaws and insecurities, so they project them onto you.
It’s like they’re standing in front of a mirror, but instead of seeing their own reflection, they see you.
They might accuse you of being selfish when they’re the ones constantly prioritizing their needs. They might call you controlling when they’re the ones dictating your every move. It’s messed up, I know.
When a narcissist starts accusing you out of the blue, take a step back. Ask yourself, are they describing you or themselves? More often than not, you’ll find that it’s the latter. Don’t let their projections define who you are. You know yourself better than anyone else does.
8) Smear campaigns
Smear campaigns are when a narcissist spreads false rumors or exaggerates your mistakes to others.
They do this to damage your reputation and isolate you from your support network. This way, they can further control and manipulate you without others interfering.
Smear campaigns aren’t just limited to personal relationships; they’re often used in politics too. Politicians have been known to spread damaging rumors about their opponents in order to gain an advantage.
It’s a classic manipulation tactic that has been used for centuries!
9) Moving goalposts
Here’s how it works: a narcissist sets a certain expectation or goal for you. When you meet it, they move the goalpost, setting a higher or different expectation. This is done to keep you perpetually unsatisfied and always striving to please them.
I remember being in a relationship where no matter what I did, it was never enough. If I did something right, the rules would change, and what was once right was now wrong. It was an exhausting cycle that left me feeling constantly inadequate.
If you’re experiencing this, know that it’s not about you failing, it’s about them manipulating. You are enough just as you are.
10) Threats and intimidation
Let’s be real. Narcissists have no qualms about using threats and intimidation to get their way. They might threaten to leave you, harm themselves, or even spread harmful rumors about you. They do this to control you through fear.
Living in constant fear is no way to live.
No one has the right to threaten or intimidate you into submission. It’s okay to walk away from toxic environments. You deserve respect, safety, and peace of mind. Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise.