7 circumstances in life where using reverse psychology almost always works

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | October 10, 2024, 4:48 pm

Let’s talk about reverse psychology, the art of convincing someone to do something by suggesting they do the opposite.

It’s a tricky business, often seen as manipulative or deceitful. But what if I told you that there are particular moments in life where it’s almost always effective?

These are circumstances where a subtle nudge in the ‘wrong’ direction can actually lead people to the right decision – one they make themselves.

In this article, we’ll dive into 7 key situations where flipping the script can help you get the results you want, without the struggle.

1) Dealing with stubborn children

If you’ve ever tried to get a child to do something they don’t want to, you know it can feel like pushing a boulder up a hill.

Children are notorious for resisting authority. They want to make their own decisions, even when they’re not the best choices.

This is where reverse psychology comes in handy.

Let’s say you want your child to eat their vegetables, but they’re refusing.

Instead of insisting they eat them, try saying something like, “You probably won’t like these; they’re only for grown-ups.”

Suddenly, those vegetables become a challenge, an entry into the world of adults. More often than not, the child will want to prove they can handle it.

Remember, this isn’t about tricking children into doing what you want. It’s about helping them make better decisions while feeling they’re in control.

2) Convincing a friend to try something new

I’ve got this one friend, let’s call him Mike. He’s a creature of habit, resistant to change, and absolutely hates stepping out of his comfort zone.

One day, I wanted him to try sushi with me. Knowing his usual response, I decided to try a different approach.

I casually mentioned that I was getting sushi for lunch and added, “But you wouldn’t like it, it’s quite an acquired taste.”

To my surprise, Mike immediately rebutted with, “I can handle it. Let’s go for sushi!”

In this case, using reverse psychology allowed Mike to feel like he was making his own decision, rather than being forced into trying something new.

It’s a subtle way of nudging people towards expanding their horizons without making them feel cornered.

3) Encouraging healthier habits

Reverse psychology isn’t just for kids or convincing friends to try sushi. It’s also been used with great success in promoting healthier habits.

Take smoking cessation, for example.

Telling a smoker about all the health risks associated with their habit rarely works. They’re already aware, and it often just leads to them digging their heels in deeper.

But, a study published in the Journal of Applied Communication found that presenting smokers with anti-smoking messages designed to trigger their rebellious nature significantly increased their intention to quit.

Instead of the typical “Smoking kills” message, they were shown messages like “You don’t control tobacco, tobacco controls you.”

This approach taps into the human desire for autonomy, turning quitting smoking into an act of rebellion rather than compliance.

4) Negotiating a deal

Negotiations can often feel like a tug of war, with both parties trying to get the best deal for themselves.

When negotiating, people often expect you to push for what you want. So, when you do the opposite and suggest that maybe this deal isn’t the best for them, it can throw them off guard.

For instance, if you’re selling a car and the buyer is hesitant, instead of dropping the price or pointing out all the great features, try saying something like, “Maybe this car isn’t right for you.”

This could lead the buyer to defend their initial interest and convince themselves of why they want the car, rather than you having to do it.

Now this isn’t about making false claims or being dishonest. It’s simply a different approach to negotiation where you allow the other party to make their own conclusions.

5) Building self-esteem in others

We all know someone who constantly underestimates their abilities, despite being incredibly talented. They’re the ones who need a confidence boost, but direct compliments or pep talks don’t always work.

This is where reverse psychology can make a difference.

Imagine you have a friend who’s an amazing artist but is too scared to showcase their work.

Instead of telling them how great they are, you could say something like, “Maybe art isn’t meant to be shared. It’s too personal, too subjective.”

This might prompt them to defend their passion and realize that their art deserves to be seen by others.

It subtly encourages them to believe in themselves and their talent, reinforcing the idea that they do have what it takes.

In this way, reverse psychology isn’t just a strategy; it’s a tool to help people see their worth and potential on their own terms.

6) Overcoming personal fears

I’ve always been afraid of heights. It’s something that I struggled with, and it held me back from experiencing so many things.

Then one day, a friend suggested we go skydiving.

My immediate reaction was outright refusal. But then I started thinking, “Maybe I’m not meant to overcome this fear. Maybe it’s just part of who I am.”

Surprisingly, this thought didn’t comfort me as I expected. Instead, it sparked a rebellion inside me. I didn’t want my fear to define me or limit my experiences.

So, I went skydiving.

And guess what?

It was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life.

Sure, the fear of heights didn’t magically disappear, but at that moment, it didn’t control me.

Sometimes, using reverse psychology on ourselves can help us face our fears and step out of our comfort zones. It’s about challenging our limitations and not letting them define us.

7) Navigating workplace dynamics

The workplace can often be a maze of different personalities and egos. Sometimes, getting a colleague to collaborate or agree with your ideas can feel like an uphill battle.

Here’s where reverse psychology can be a game-changer.

Suppose you have a team member who always seems to resist your ideas. Instead of pushing your proposal, try suggesting that maybe your idea might not be the best fit.

This could prompt them to reconsider and see the merits of your idea, without feeling like they are being convinced or coerced.

Reverse psychology, when used responsibly, can help smooth workplace dynamics and foster a more positive environment.

Final thoughts: The power of autonomy

Reverse psychology may feel like a clever trick, but when used thoughtfully and in the right situations, it can be a powerful tool for guiding people toward better decisions—ones they feel they’ve made on their own.

Whether it’s helping someone overcome stubbornness, fostering independence, or simply getting through tough negotiations, understanding when and how to flip the script can save you time, energy, and stress.

Just remember, the key is subtlety and respect.

So always approach it with respect, understanding, and empathy. And remember, the ultimate goal is not to manipulate, but to encourage self-determined decision making and personal growth.