When you’re scrambling about and trying to get everything on your plate done day after day, the last thing you could think about is inner peace. 

And yet, it’s exactly what we all should be thinking about, so much that it becomes a pretty much constant state of mind. 

After all, life is already chaotic, right? So it’s important that at least on the inside, we’re calm and ready for whatever comes our way.

Contrary to popular opinion, achieving inner peace doesn’t require being in a quiet and peaceful place. You can access inner peace even when you’re right in the middle of chaos. 

However, here’s the hard part – it does involve accepting these 8 brutal truths: 

1) Life is absolutely not fair

Let’s get the most important truth straight first off – life doesn’t play by the rules we think it should. 

We’re taught so many things early on. Hard work will always get you far. Kindness is always rewarded with kindness. Good intentions always lead to success.

And then, we get little rude awakenings… 

Your lazy coworker gets promoted over you because they’ve got connections. Your cheating, lying ex ends up with the person of their dreams.

The friend you so graciously lent money in their time of need never remembered to pay you back. 

It’s definitely a tough pill to swallow that life can treat you in such a sh*tty way even when you’ve been nothing but an exemplary person. 

But accepting this can actually be freeing. Not to mention that it makes us stronger, more able to bounce back after getting disappointed. 

2) Your best may not be good enough all the time

This is closely connected to the fact that life isn’t fair. Even if we give something or someone our best doesn’t mean we’ll always succeed.

But I hope you don’t take it as a reflection of your worth. Nor should you see it as a cue to slack off. 

I’ve had too many failures in my life to count. But I am consoled by the fact that I gave my 100% every single time. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep when I fail, but even through my tears, at the end of the day, I feel at peace knowing that I did my best. 

You see, integrity matters a great deal when it comes to inner peace.

Sure, your best may not have been good enough for the matter at hand, but hey, you stayed true to your values and standards, didn’t you? That counts for a lot! 

3) Sometimes you’ll never know the answer

Another truth that’s worth accepting is that you won’t know everything. You could have all kinds of burning questions in you – why a relationship ended the way it did, or why bad things happen to good people…

…and end up with zilch. 

Truth is, not all questions in life have clear answers. And until we accept that, we’re going to feel frustrated. 

For me, learning to live with uncertainty was a tough job. I can get pretty obsessive about wanting to know everything.

I love analyzing things, people, and situations and understanding why things happened the way they did. 

So when I don’t get the answers I want, the frustration sits inside me and I don’t feel at peace. I’ve even thought that I could never be a detective because the frustration of an unsolved crime would eat away at me forever. 

If like me, you struggle with this, keep saying this to yourself: It’s okay not to know. And also…

4) You don’t have to – and can’t – control everything

A lot of the frustration we have in life is because we want things to go our way, but then they don’t, right? 

It all comes down to a desire for control. For making sure we come out on top all of the time. And that’s a natural human desire. 

Still, it isn’t healthy when taken to the extreme. What really helped me get to a place of inner peace is learning to let go of what I can’t control. 

There’s an old saying that goes, “Anything you can’t control is teaching you to let go.” 

That’s so true, isn’t it? Think about it – why would you hold on to something and try to bend it to your will when the strings aren’t in your hands at all? 

Of course, it’s only wise that you go ahead and make your plans in life. But remember to leave some room for the unexpected. 

As we’ve established, life loves giving us surprises. Whether they’re good or bad surprises, inner peace will help you deal. 

5) You can’t please everyone

Ah, another brutal truth that’s hard to accept. But when you do, it’s just incredibly liberating. 

This is actually a truth that we already know in our heads. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been told that we can’t please everyone. And yet, I still try to do it! 

Because it’s natural to want to be liked. And here is where I want to make a distinction. Wanting to be liked is different from needing to be liked. 

According to Psych Central, needing to be liked is “a fixation on getting people’s approval at the expense of making your own choices could interfere with how you live your life.”

And that’s not healthy at all. It’s going to get in the way of your inner peace. There will always be someone out there who won’t like you, no matter how kind or charming you are. So why carry that burden around? 

This brings me to my next point…

6) What other people think about you is none of your business

Like I said, other people’s perception of you can be a burden, and it can get really heavy if you don’t know how to shake it off. 

It can lead to a lifetime of keeping up appearances just so people will think highly of you. 

I see this even more highlighted today, in the age of social media. For example, I see people posting about luxurious lifestyles, when I know for a fact that they’re in debt. 

I watch certain friends gush over their perfect relationships online when they know their SOs are actually cheating on them. 

And let’s not get started on overly filtered or photoshopped selfies…

No judgment here, though. We’re all flawed humans, and admitting our flaws is never easy. 

But here’s why you shouldn’t worry too much about what people think of you: they don’t think of you as much as you think they do. 

I know that sounds harsh. But it’s not just me saying this, it’s what the research says – we often overestimate how much people think about us and our failings.

If you ask me, it’s quite a relief to know that! 

7) Some people are not meant to stay in your life

Just a few days ago, I watched a reel of a vlogger asking a 90-year-old lady what her secret was for looking so young and healthy. 

She shared a few secrets, but one thing that really stood out for me was this: “Some people are meant to be temporary in your life.” 

She likened relationships to trains – you get on and the ride starts. You sit with somebody for a while, then they have to get off. Other people get on and sit beside you, then get off, too. On and on it goes on this ride of yours. 

Having this kind of mindset gives you the inner peace to handle goodbyes, especially the painful ones. It will still hurt, of course, but it can help us let go and move on with grace.  

8) Life is 100% what you make it

Finally, inner peace is a result of knowing you’re in charge of your life. Not your circumstances, not your family, not your genetics, and all that. 

Yes, there will always be factors beyond our control, but how we respond to them is ultimately what defines our life. 

It’s your choices and your attitude that shape your life, not the chaos around you. If you choose to dwell on the negative, then you’ll see only the bad things. 

Conversely, if you choose to step out with positivity, then you’ll see more of the good stuff. It’s all about perspective, and that is definitely an inside job. 

Final thoughts

Inner peace doesn’t happen by accident, nor is it dependent on external circumstances. It’s a lifelong process, a state of mind that involves accepting these harsh truths and focusing on what we can influence. 

As American motivational speaker Wayne Dwyer said, “You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now.” 

It might sound overly simplistic, but really, it’s true. The beauty of inner peace is that it’s already accessible within us no matter where we are – we need only look inwards.