8 body language cues that signal a colleague has a secret crush on you, according to psychology

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | July 11, 2024, 3:40 am

Do you have a feeling that someone at work may have a crush on you?

Navigating dating and relationships is tricky, but even more so when it involves the workplace.

However, according to psychologists, body language is a powerful communicator. It can reveal hidden feelings or intentions that we don’t verbally express.

So, by learning about body language, you might be able to pick up on subtle signals that a colleague has a secret crush on you. It’s all about knowing what to look for.

Let’s delve into the world of non-verbal cues.

Here are eight body language signs, backed by psychology, that may indicate your coworker is harboring a secret crush.

1) Watch for increased eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful communicator. It’s something we all do without even realizing.

Psychologists suggest that when someone has a crush, their gaze tends to linger a bit longer.

So if your colleague is constantly making eye contact, it might be because they’re interested in you.

They’re paying extra attention and want to connect more deeply. It’s as if their eyes are magnetically drawn to you.

This doesn’t mean every long gaze is a signal of a secret crush.

But when it happens in conjunction with other signs on this list, it might just be one of those subtle hints that there’s more than just professional admiration.

2) Notice their body orientation

Here’s something I’ve noticed from personal experience.

Body orientation can be a subtle, yet telling sign of someone’s interest.

The way a person positions their body can reveal a lot about their feelings towards you.

I remember back at my old job, there was this colleague who always seemed to face me, even when we were in group settings.

It was as if there was an invisible thread pulling him in my direction.

His body was always oriented towards me, like a compass pointing north.

Psychologists suggest that we subconsciously position ourselves towards people we’re attracted to.

It’s as if our body is trying to close the distance, even when our words aren’t saying anything.

So next time you’re in a meeting or a casual chat at the water cooler, notice where your colleague is positioned.

If they are consistently directing their body towards you, it could be a sign of a secret crush.

3) Pay attention to touch

Touch can be a strong indicator of someone’s interest or attraction. It creates a sense of intimacy, even in a non-romantic context.

In a workplace setting, this might translate to light touches on your arm or shoulder, or a pat on your back.

It could even be as simple as a friendly bump when passing by or lingering handshake.

Interestingly, studies have shown that even minor forms of physical contact can increase our feelings of trust and connection to the person touching us.

It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “I’m comfortable with you.”

Of course, in a professional environment, it’s crucial to differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate touch.

Always respect personal boundaries and ensure the touch is welcome and reciprocated.

4) Spot the mirroring

Mirroring is a subconscious act we perform when we are in sync or feel connected with someone.

It’s when you copy the gestures, speech patterns, or attitudes of the person you’re interacting with.

So if your colleague consistently mirrors your actions, it might be a sign they’re attracted to you.

Do they lean in when you do? Match your tone of voice? Or even use similar phrases as you do?

This isn’t necessarily a sign of mimicry. It’s more about building rapport and showing empathy.

It’s a subconscious way of saying, “I understand you and I’m on the same wavelength.”

But remember, mirroring can also be a sign of good listening skills or an attempt to fit in.

So just like any other cue, don’t jump to conclusions based on this factor alone.

5) Recognize genuine smiles

A smile can reveal so much. It’s the universal sign of happiness and warmth, but did you know that not all smiles are created equal?

There’s a difference between a genuine smile and a polite one.

A genuine smile, also known as a Duchenne smile, involves not just the mouth but also the eyes.

The corners of the eyes crinkle up creating ‘crow’s feet.’ It’s not something that can be easily faked.

So when your colleague consistently gives you these real, heartfelt smiles, it might be because they genuinely enjoy your company.

Maybe it’s the way you crack jokes during meetings, or how you always have a kind word to say.

This is one of those sweet signs that there might be a secret crush brewing. After all, we tend to smile more around people we like. 

6) Look for nervousness

This one takes me back to my school days.

Remember when you had a crush on someone and couldn’t help but feel a little jittery around them?

Nervousness can be a telltale sign of attraction.

It’s as though the stakes suddenly become higher and you become more self-conscious about your actions and words.

In a workplace setting, this might manifest as:

  • Fidgeting, stuttering, or even blushing when interacting with you
  • Being overly concerned about their appearance, constantly adjusting their clothes or hair when you’re around

It’s quite endearing, really.

But it’s also important to remember that nervousness can also stem from other factors, such as stress or personal issues.

So while it can be a sign of a secret crush, it shouldn’t be taken as a standalone indicator.

7) Observe their interest in your personal life

When someone has a crush, they often have a heightened interest in knowing about the other person’s life outside of the common environment.

In this case, your workplace.

If your colleague frequently asks about your weekend plans, hobbies, or personal interests, it might be a sign that they have feelings for you.

They’re trying to get to know you on a deeper level, beyond the professional.

Of course, this could also be a sign of friendly curiosity or good rapport.

But combined with other cues on this list, it could indicate a secret crush.

8) Notice if they make an effort to be around you

The biggest indicator that a colleague might have a crush on you is their effort to be around you.

Do they always seem to take their coffee breaks at the same time as you?

Do they find reasons to stop by your desk or join the projects you’re working on?

When someone is attracted to another person, they naturally want to spend more time with them.

Endnote: Understanding, not assuming

Body language is a fascinating aspect of human communication. It often speaks volumes more than words do.

Our gestures, postures, and facial expressions might reveal feelings we’re not consciously expressing.

It’s a silent dialogue that goes on between individuals, sometimes unbeknownst to them.

However, it’s important to remember that these cues are not always an exact science. They’re indicators, not evidence. 

People are complex. We have different ways of expressing ourselves and our emotions.

So what might be a sign of attraction in one person could just be a habit or personality trait in another.

So while it’s interesting to spot these potential signs of a secret crush in the workplace, it’s crucial not to jump to conclusions. 

Always approach any such situation with respect and sensitivity.

After all, the workplace is a professional environment where personal boundaries should be respected.