There’s a fine line between influence and manipulation, and nobody knows this better than a covert narcissist.

These individuals are masters at using language to control, manipulate, and subtly degrade others, often without their victims realizing what’s happening.

The trick to spotting a covert narcissist is understanding the phrases they commonly use. These phrases are their secret weapons, allowing them to maintain control while appearing innocent.

In this article, we’ll unravel the mystery behind 6 such phrases. These might seem harmless on the surface, but they’re actually the classic tactics of a covert narcissist.

Buckle up! It’s time to learn how to spot these tactics and protect yourself from their manipulative influence.

1) “I’m not like other people…”

Navigating the complex world of interpersonal relationships can be challenging, particularly when dealing with a covert narcissist.

These individuals are experts at making themselves appear unique, misunderstood, or even victimized. They often use phrases that set them apart from others, implying a sense of superiority or exclusivity.

A common phrase you might hear is “I’m not like other people…”. This phrase is a classic narcissistic tactic designed to make you feel that they are special or exceptional.

In reality, this is a manipulative strategy to make you feel privileged to be in their company, while also subtly suggesting that any criticism or negative feedback you have isn’t valid because they’re simply “different”.

Be wary when you hear this phrase. It’s a red flag that you might be dealing with a covert narcissist!

Everyone has unique qualities, but using them as a shield against criticism or a tool for manipulation is a classic narcissistic tactic.

2) “You’re just too sensitive…”

Here’s one that personally caught me off guard in the past.

I remember having a conversation with a friend, expressing how their actions had hurt me. Instead of acknowledging my feelings or apologizing, they hit me with “You’re just too sensitive…”.

This phrase is a textbook tactic of a covert narcissist. They use it to deflect blame, invalidate your feelings, and maintain control in the relationship.

In my case, it made me second guess myself, wondering if I was indeed too sensitive. But over time, I realized that my feelings were valid, and it was their way of avoiding taking responsibility for their actions.

So beware when someone tells you that you’re too sensitive. It’s not a reflection of your sensitivity but rather an indication that you might be dealing with a covert narcissist.

3) “I hate drama…”

Those narcissists are known to say, “I hate drama…”, typically while causing or stirring up drama themselves.

This phrase is a clever manipulation tactic designed to portray them as the reasonable party, even when they’re the source of the conflict. It’s their way of making others feel guilty for addressing issues or setting boundaries.

They enjoy creating drama to divert attention away from their own behavior, then claim to dislike or be victims of the very drama they’ve created.

So, when you hear the phrase “I hate drama…”, be cautious. It might be a covert narcissist attempting to control the narrative.

4) “I always try to help people…”

They are also notorious for their grandiose statements about their benevolent nature. One such phrase you may often hear is, “I always try to help people…”

On the surface, this sounds like a noble sentiment. But it’s often used to create a facade of selflessness, masking their true intentions.

In reality, they use “helping” as a means to gain control or manipulate others. The help they offer often comes with strings attached and is used as leverage in future interactions.

So, if someone repeatedly emphasizes how much they help others, take note. It could be a sign of a covert narcissist trying to paint themselves as the hero, while subtly manipulating those around them.

5) “Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

It’s a phrase that tugs at your heartstrings, “Why can’t you just be happy for me?”. Who wouldn’t want to cheer for the success of a loved one?

But in the hands of a covert narcissist, it’s a weapon. This phrase is commonly used to deflect criticism or guilt-trip you into ignoring their wrongdoings.

It’s also a way to shift focus away from your feelings and back to them – ensuring they remain the center of attention.

It’s heartbreaking when someone you care about uses your love and concern against you. But remember, your emotions and concerns are valid too. Don’t let a covert narcissist make you feel guilty for expressing them.

6) “If you really cared about me, you would…”

This one hit me hard a few years ago. A close friend of mine said, “If you really cared about me, you would…”

This phrase is a classic guilt trip, used by covert narcissists to manipulate and control. They use it to force compliance, questioning your loyalty or love if you don’t meet their demands.

In my case, this friend was asking for something that went against my values. It was a tough situation, but it made me realize that genuine care and respect are a two-way street.

So if someone starts questioning your feelings based on your willingness to meet their demands, pause. It could be a sign of a covert narcissist trying to manipulate your emotions!

Understanding is the first step

The complexities of human behavior and interactions are deeply intertwined with our emotional and psychological makeup.

The subtle manipulation techniques used by covert narcissists are one example. Understanding these tactics is the first step towards protecting ourselves and maintaining healthy relationships.

Recognizing red flags and their classic phrases can be a significant breakthrough. It allows us to see through the manipulation, providing us with the power to validate our feelings and experiences!

Everyone deserves respect and understanding in their interactions. Don’t let a covert narcissist convince you otherwise.

You have the right to trust your feelings, ask questions, and demand respect!