Have you ever felt like life is more chaotic and stressful than it needs to be?

Sometimes, it’s not just external circumstances but our own habits and behaviors that add to the noise. We all hold onto certain patterns that quietly chip away at our peace of mind.

The good news? Psychology shows us that letting go of these behaviors can make a huge difference.

By making a few intentional changes, you can create a life that feels calmer, more balanced, and genuinely fulfilling.

Here are seven behaviors to release if you want to invite more peace and contentment into your life.

1) Overthinking

The first behavior that psychology recommends we let go of is overthinking.

For years, I was a chronic overthinker. I’d replay past conversations in my head, worrying about what I could have said or done differently.

And when it came to the future, I was constantly guessing and second-guessing my decisions, filled with anxiety about outcomes that hadn’t even happened yet.

It was exhausting. But then I discovered something: this constant mental chatter wasn’t helping me, it was dragging me down.

Psychology suggests that overthinking can lead to serious emotional distress. It keeps us stuck in our heads, preventing us from enjoying the present moment.

So, how do you break free from this cycle? One strategy that worked for me was practicing mindfulness – just like the Buddhists recommend.

Spending a few minutes each day focused on my breath helped me train my mind to stay in the here and now.

And when I found myself getting caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts, I would gently remind myself: ‘Don’t believe everything you think.’

Remember, our thoughts are not always facts. They’re just thoughts. And with practice, you can learn to let them pass by without getting swept away.

This brings me to the next point…

2) Negative self-talk

Negative self-talk, or the critical voice inside our head that tells us we’re not good enough, can be incredibly damaging.

I used to beat myself up over every little mistake. Each time I messed up, my inner critic would launch into a tirade of how I always get things wrong and how I’ll never be successful.

But then I came across an interesting study that found that self-compassion helps people deal with negative experiences in healthier ways.

This was certainly something I needed to know; it was a wake-up call for me. I realized that the way I talked to myself was not only harmful but also counterproductive.

So, I began to change my inner dialogue. Instead of berating myself for mistakes, I started speaking to myself as I would to a friend – with kindness and understanding.

It wasn’t easy, but over time, my self-esteem improved and my anxiety decreased.

If you struggle with negative self-talk, remember that you’re not alone. And know that it is possible to change the way you talk to yourself. Treat yourself kindly – you deserve it.

3) Seeking approval from others

Another behavior we need to let go of, according to psychology, is the constant need for approval from others.

There was a time when I found myself always seeking validation. I wanted to be liked, to fit in, and it seemed like the only way to do that was to conform to what others expected of me.

But here’s the thing: The more I tried to please others, the less happy I was with myself.

Famed psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “The highest state a human being can attain is the state of self-actualization.”

In other words, what we should aim for is a state where we’re true to ourselves and not constantly trying to meet other people’s expectations.

Remember, your worth is not determined by someone else’s opinion of you. Start by loving and approving yourself, and you’ll find that inner peace comes naturally.

4) Holding onto regrets

Regrets are a part of life. We all have moments we wish we could redo or decisions we wish we could unmake. I certainly had my fair share.

But here’s the thing: dwelling on regrets doesn’t change the past, it just steals our present.

Regrets are unchangeable facts that belong in the past, and letting them dictate our present serves no purpose.

Letting go of regrets is about accepting our past and recognizing we did the best we could with what we knew at the time.

As the folks at Very Well Mind say, “One way to help cope with feelings of regret is to use those experiences to fuel future action. Consider what you might have changed and done differently, but instead of ruminating over what cannot be changed, reframe it as a learning opportunity that will allow you to make better choices in the future.”

When you can do this, you free yourself up to fully live in the present and embrace your future.

5) Resisting change

Change is a constant part of life, yet many of us resist it. I was certainly one of those people.

Whether it was moving to a new city or starting a new job, I used to dread change. I’d cling to what was familiar, even if it wasn’t making me happy.

But resisting change only leads to stagnation. It keeps us stuck in situations that no longer serve us and prevents us from growing.

I learned that the hard way when I stayed in a job I loathed because I was too afraid to venture out and pursue my passion for psychology.

When I finally embraced the change and took the leap, yes, it was scary. But it also led me to where I am today – doing what I love and living a life that’s aligned with my values.

So, don’t be afraid of change. It might be uncomfortable at first, but it’s often the first step towards creating a life that’s truly fulfilling.

6) Living in the past or future

For a long time, I found myself constantly dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Whether it was replaying old conversations in my mind or stressing about things that hadn’t even happened yet, I was never fully present. This robbed me of the joy and peace that comes from truly living in the moment.

I can’t stress enough how a mindfulness practice helped me in my efforts to be more present. By focusing on what’s happening now, I stopped letting the past and future steal my attention.

It wasn’t easy at first, but the more I practiced, the more I felt grounded, calm, and truly alive in the present.

Remember, the past is gone and the future isn’t promised. All we have is now. Make it count.

7) Trying to control everything

Lastly, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life is unpredictable. No matter how much we plan or prepare, things don’t always go our way.

And the more we try to get everything perfect and within our control, the more we’re setting ourselves up for stress and unhappiness.

So let go of the need to control every single thing. Instead of wasting energy on things you can’t change, you can direct your attention to what you can influence—your attitude, your actions, and your reactions.

This shift allows you to approach challenges with a clearer mind and less emotional baggage.

You become more adaptable and resilient because you’re no longer tied to rigid expectations of how things “should” be.

In essence, letting go is about trusting the process and finding peace in the unpredictability of life. It’s about giving yourself permission to breathe, adapt, and thrive.

Conclusion

In the end, living a peaceful and content life isn’t about eliminating all challenges—it’s about letting go of the habits that add unnecessary stress and negativity.

By releasing these seven behaviors, you create room for mindfulness, balance, and genuine happiness.

Change won’t happen overnight, but every small step toward letting go is a step closer to a calmer, more fulfilling life.