Ever wondered what sets apart the real deal from the imposters in the kindness department?

Brace yourself, because we’re about to unveil the 9 telltale behaviors that distinguish genuinely kind-hearted souls from the mere pretenders.

Get ready to separate the wheat from the chaff as we dive deep into the world of authentic kindness.

1) Genuine empathy

When it comes to distinguishing truly kind-hearted individuals from those who merely pretend, empathy is a key factor.

Authentic kindness stems from a genuine understanding and shared feeling of another’s emotions. It’s not about performing acts of kindness for show or personal gain.

Truly kind-hearted people can empathize with others, feeling their pain, their joy, their struggles, and their victories as if they were their own. It’s this ability to “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” that sets them apart.

Fakers might mimic this behavior, but without the emotional connection, it’s just an act. Genuine empathy can’t be faked – it’s either there or it isn’t.

2) Selfless acts

I’ve encountered a fair share of people in my life, but those who’ve left a lasting impression on me are the ones who’ve demonstrated selflessness.

I remember my neighbor, Mrs. Davis. She was an elderly woman who lived alone and had few visitors. Every Sunday, without fail, she’d receive a bouquet of fresh flowers. One day, I found out it was my friend Mike who’d been delivering them.

Mike wasn’t related to Mrs. Davis and wasn’t looking for any recognition. He did it because he knew it brought her joy. He never posted about it on social media or bragged about it to friends. His act of kindness was pure and from the heart.

Truly kind-hearted people like Mike perform acts of kindness not for praise or reward, but simply because it’s the right thing to do. They inherently understand that their actions can make a difference in someone’s life, no matter how small.

Those just faking it? They might perform similar acts, but there’s usually an ulterior motive. Whether it’s for recognition or a sense of superiority, their actions are rarely driven by pure selflessness.

3) Consistent kindness

Genuinely kind-hearted individuals are not sporadic or selective with their kindness. They don’t save it for special occasions or only offer it to certain people. Their kindness is a constant trait, evident in all their interactions.

This goes back to the psychological concept known as the “trait consistency bias.” This is our tendency to believe that a person’s actions in one situation reflect how they will act in all situations. In reality, people’s behavior can vary greatly across different contexts.

However, when it comes to genuine kindness, there is a higher level of consistency. If someone is truly kind, you’ll see it not just in their grand gestures, but also in their day-to-day interactions with everyone around them.

On the other hand, those just pretending to be kind often show inconsistency. They might be nice one day and indifferent the next, or kind to certain people and dismissive to others. This inconsistency often reveals their true colors.

4) They don’t keep score

Genuinely kind-hearted people don’t expect anything in return for their acts of kindness. They don’t keep a mental tally of all the good deeds they’ve done, waiting to cash them in at some opportune moment. Their kindness is unconditional, not transactional.

For these individuals, the act of helping others and spreading positivity is a reward in itself. They derive genuine happiness and satisfaction from seeing others benefit from their actions.

Those just faking kindness, however, often have a different agenda. You might notice them subtly reminding you of the favors they’ve done or expressing disappointment when their good deeds aren’t reciprocated in equal measure.

This ‘score keeping’ behavior is a clear sign that their kindness isn’t as genuine as it may seem.

5) They’re patient

Patience is a virtue that is commonly found in genuinely kind-hearted people. They understand that everyone has their own pace, their own strengths, and their unique struggles. They don’t rush or pressure others but offer them the time and space to grow and learn.

This type of patience reflects a deep respect for the individuality of others. They value people for who they are, not who they want them to be.

In contrast, those who fake kindness might lose their patience quickly. They may become frustrated when people don’t conform to their expectations or don’t respond to their acts of ‘kindness’ as they’d hoped. Their impatience often unveils their lack of genuine care and understanding.

6) They show kindness even when it’s inconvenient

Authentically kind-hearted people don’t let their own discomfort or inconvenience stop them from helping others. They’re willing to go out of their way, to sacrifice their time, and sometimes even their resources, to lend a helping hand.

I’ve seen this in people who stop to help a stranger change a flat tire in the pouring rain, or those who take the time to listen and provide comfort to a distressed friend in the middle of a hectic day.

On the other hand, those faking it often disappear when things get tough. Their kindness tends to evaporate when there’s no immediate benefit for them or when it requires more effort than they’re willing to give.

7) They are not afraid to show compassion

Compassion is a powerful thing. It can be incredibly moving to see someone else’s struggle, to feel their pain, and to act on that empathy by offering comfort or assistance.

I remember when I was going through a particularly rough patch in my life. I felt alone and overwhelmed, unsure of how I was going to get through it.

Then one day, a friend reached out. She didn’t just offer words of encouragement, but she took time out of her busy schedule to sit with me, to listen, and most importantly, to show me compassion.

It’s this willingness to not just acknowledge but also share in another’s suffering that is a hallmark of genuinely kind-hearted people. They’re not afraid to open their hearts and show compassion, even when it might be painful or uncomfortable.

Those who are faking kindness might shy away from these situations. They might offer platitudes or perform token acts of kindness, but they often avoid truly connecting on a deeper level. Their actions often lack the warmth and sincerity that comes from genuine compassion.

8) They practice gratitude

One characteristic I’ve observed in genuinely kind-hearted people is their practice of gratitude. They are often appreciative of what they have and express that appreciation openly.

They acknowledge the good in their lives and the role others play in it. This includes small acts of kindness they receive, the love and support of friends and family, or even the beauty in the world around them.

Their gratitude not only reflects their positive outlook on life but also amplifies their kindness. It fuels their desire to give back, to pay forward the positivity they’ve experienced.

Those who fake kindness often lack this sense of gratitude. They might be focused more on what they don’t have or what they want to gain, rather than appreciating what they already have. This lack of gratitude often reveals a lack of genuine kindness.

9) They radiate positivity

The most telling trait of genuinely kind-hearted people is that they radiate positivity.

Their kindness isn’t just reflected in their actions, but in their attitude and outlook on life as well.

They choose to see the good in others, to focus on the positive aspects of situations, and to spread joy and happiness wherever they go. Their positivity is infectious and uplifting, often inspiring those around them to be kinder as well.

Those who are just pretending, however, might struggle to maintain this level of positivity. They might be kind on the surface, but their negativity or cynicism often seeps through. And this can be a clear indication that their kindness may not be as genuine as it appears.

Final thoughts: It’s about sincerity

The essence of genuine kindness lies in its sincerity. It’s not about grand gestures or public displays, but about the genuine care, empathy, and positivity that a person brings to their interactions with others.

It’s the selfless act of helping a stranger, the patient listening to a friend in need, the consistent kindness shown to everyone encountered, and the radiating positivity that uplifts those around them.

As we navigate through our lives, let’s strive to embody these behaviors of genuine kindness. Not for recognition or gain, but simply because it’s the right thing to do.

Let our actions speak louder than our words and let our kindness leave a lasting impact on the world around us.