One common misconception is that confidence in men is all about being prideful, boastful, or dominant. After all, it’s what we equate masculinity with.

But I’m here to tell you that most signs of confidence in men are more subtle—and also far more nuanced.

Through my experience and psychological research, I’ve boiled down the 13 behaviors only highly confident men display, according to psychology.

So if you’re dating men, being able to identify these behaviors will help you, whether you are with true confidence or just putting up a front. And if you’re a man yourself, this just might help you nurture your self-confidence!

1) He’s not afraid of challenges

Men who will fake confidence will talk the talk but won’t walk the walk. 

They’ll boast about their past accomplishments but will refuse to tackle future problems.

They’ll either make excuses or, worse, act like the problem is beneath them and say that it’s a waste of time. (When they’re actually scared to take it on).

Unfortunately, if they keep on avoiding struggles and sticking to their comfort zone, they’ll never grow as a person. And because of this, they’ll never be able to develop real self-confidence.

If a man is taking on different challenges—even if he feels afraid of them—then that’s when you know he really believes in himself.

2) He welcomes change

In the same vein, a confident man is willing to accept change. After all, change can be some of the scariest things in life. 

Confident guys fully embrace that change is the only guarantee in life (aside from death and taxes, I guess).

He knows that his career will face road bumps and changes. He knows that people change and that relationship dynamics will evolve over time. He knows his body changes so he prepares for it by maintaining his health.

Once again, confidence isn’t about being unafraid. It’s about doing things despite that fear. It’s about learning how to cope with the fear of change.

3) He controls his body language

Often, you can glean how much confidence someone has based on their body language.

You can tell that a man is unconfident through things like:

• Stuttering when he speaks;
• Moving as if he’s hurrying;
• Having closed-off or constrained body language;
• Having his hands in his pockets;
• Having his head down.

A confident person will move slowly and deliberately. He’s in full control of how he moves and acts. He remains cool, calm, and collected even in unsure situations.

Essentially, it’s all about maintaining one’s composure even if things go wrong.

And if you’re on a date, check if he isn’t afraid to establish eye contact. If he can look at you confidently and respectfully without feeling bashful, then he’s a self-assured individual. 

Remember that actions always speak louder than words.

4) He has a positive self-image

When it comes to dating, I’ve come across too many men who mistake respecting women with being… well, a bit of a doormat. Or, as the young ones say nowadays, they’ll be a bit of a simp.

They’ll be so willing to do whatever you want them to at the cost of their personality. They’re afraid to voice out their own opinions or preferences out of insecurity or fear of being too dominating.

Even worse, they might be afraid to enforce boundaries. They’re willing to bend their entire personhood (and thus fake things about themselves) just to impress you.

It goes without saying that this behavior is indicative of a lack of self-respect and therefore self-confidence.

A person with emotional maturity will confidently yet respectfully express themselves.

5) He stays fit

Did you know that being fit and active is closely tied to high confidence levels?

It’s actually a two-way street.

People who start engaging in exercise are reported to gain an increase in self-esteem. It’s not just about the way they look, either. Science has proven that exercise releases feel-good hormones that enrich your mental and emotional states.

And if you’re someone who has good self-esteem but doesn’t exercise, you’ll likely end up prioritizing your overall health, leading you to start exercising eventually.

After all, both self-esteem and physical fitness are important for a successful and satisfying life. 

And confident men want to live life to the fullest. They want to be the best version of themselves that they can be. 

6) He’s sincere with you

Confident men are self-assured in themselves. They know they’re not perfect, but they like themselves and want to form authentic relationships with other people.

This means they’ll never lie or fake themselves just to impress others or fit in with a group.

They’re unapologetic about being their true selves. (Which, I have to note, is not the same as refusing to grow or change as a person). 

Here are a few ways you can tell when someone is being authentic:

• They’re unafraid to show off their goofy/nerdy side;
• They take rejection gracefully—they know that not everyone will like them;
• They don’t change their personalities too much when they’re with other people;
• They speak and act freely.

7) He is a good communicator

Being willing to speak your mind is one of the hallmarks of confidence.

While he’s not close-minded, he still sticks to the values he has long reflected on. Expect him to be honest when you ask him his opinion on things.

This is one of the biggest signs of being assured in oneself. 

He simply has enough of a spine to be true to himself. At the same time, he doesn’t get defensive or take it personally, even if other people have different beliefs.

After all, integrity is the backbone of confidence.

8) He’s willing to ask for help

While I’ve been harping on self-sufficiency and staying true to oneself in this article, confident men are actually willing to ask for help if they need it.

Societal expectations equate masculinity with hyper-independence and hyperindividualism. However, most guys go too far and think that being ultra-stoic makes them better, stronger men.

In truth, refusing to accept help is just a macho facade. If anything, it’s a sign of a man being insecure in his masculinity. This is because he thinks asking for help deprives him of his man-card.

Truly brave and confident men are unafraid to combat this toxic social standard. They’re brave enough to admit when they need help. Now, that’s true strength.

9) He knows his limits

Confident men are well aware of their strengths and talents. They take pride in them, use them well, and strive to reach their full potential.

He won’t be shy or downplay his skills, but he won’t boast about it either. Rather, he has a quiet confidence in his abilities.

However, the opposite side of the coin is being able to know one’s limits and weaknesses.

Trying to pretend like you’re perfect or invincible is simply false bravado. It’s machismo—not confidence.

And that’s why truly strong and confident men don’t hesitate to ask for help or admit weakness.

10) He’s secure in his achievements

Society also teaches men to be highly competitive. 

Unfortunately, this often manifests in toxic ways:

• They get obsessed about their position in the corporate or social ladders;
• They get jealous of other people’s accomplishments;
• They constantly compare themselves to others;
• They focus on becoming better than others rather than improving for themselves;
• They pursue achievements for the sake of impressing others.

This makes many of them jealous or resentful of others.

But this isn’t an indicator of masculinity. What it indicates is insecurity and a lack of confidence.

Men who are happy with themselves will celebrate their friends’ achievements. They’ll use it as a source of inspiration rather than view them as someone they need to overcome.

11) He has a positive outlook on life

Do you know what happens when you’re unconfident and insecure?

Your mind typically spirals into a cesspit of self-doubt and self-hatred. It becomes filled with negative, self-debilitating thoughts that lead to destructive behavior.

This then leads to more negative thinking and more destructive behavior and more negative thinking… you get the idea. It’s a vicious cycle.

However, confident men have a strong, positive mindset about things.

This doesn’t mean that they don’t feel down when things (inevitably) go wrong from time to time. 

But they don’t wallow in it. They look to the future, thinking of ways to make the best out of the situation or ways to learn from it moving forward.

12) He cuts himself some slack

An often overlooked aspect of positive thinking is being able to forgive oneself.

Men who lack confidence tend to beat themselves up over the mistakes they make. They’ll either self-flagellate or even blame it on other people.

Confident men will take accountability and responsibility, but they’ll never throw a pity party for themselves. They’ll accept the mistakes they’ve committed, but they’ll cut themselves some slack at the same time.

After all, they know that they’re still human at the end of the day. 

13) They’re decisive

Confident men don’t hesitate to make big decisions.

Of course, this doesn’t mean they don’t take the time to think them through. They still weigh the pros and cons and consider every relevant factor.

But they don’t cower from making difficult decisions. They don’t spend all their time overthinking or complaining about how hard it is.

They buckle up, face the challenge head-on, and don’t delegate the burden to others.

Whether it’s as small as deciding where to go for your next date or as big as a career change, a strong, confident man will take life by the reins. 

To sum up

Too many people equate confidence with being arrogant, especially with men who are taught that they need to “show off” to impress women.

However, true confidence is quiet. It lies in the integrity of one’s mind and the authenticity of one’s actions.

Confident men don’t need to let others know how confident they are. Others will know just by being with them.