Have you ever noticed how some women seem to give endlessly, tolerate mistreatment, or struggle to stand up for themselves?

It often happens so subtly that even they might not realize what’s going on. 

Some behaviors can reveal more than we realize—especially when it comes to self-respect. Certain patterns or actions often show that a woman may not value herself as much as she deserves.

Understanding these behaviors can help shed light on the underlying struggles and why they happen. Let’s look at six key signs that point to a lack of self-respect and boundaries, and what they say about someone’s relationship with themselves.

1) Constantly seeking validation

First up, women who lack self-respect and boundaries often tend to have a constant need for approval and validation from others.

They may frequently question their own worth, depending on external sources to affirm their value.

As the team at Psych Central puts it, “If you have a fragile sense of self-worth, it can be hard to validate your own experiences, so you may need to seek approval from others.”

For instance, they might agree to do something they don’t want to, just to please someone else.

Or they might feel uneasy making decisions or trusting their instincts without someone else’s approval to back them up.

You might find yourself constantly reassuring them, trying to meet their unending need for validation.

Unfortunately, by doing this, you’re not helping them build their self-respect or establish boundaries.

Instead, you may inadvertently be reinforcing their belief that their worth is tied to others’ opinions. It’s a delicate balance to strike, but understanding this behavior is the first step toward addressing it effectively.

2) Over-apologizing

Another thing you’ll notice is that “sorry” seems to be a staple in their vocabulary.

Women who struggle with self-respect and boundaries often apologize excessively, even when they haven’t done anything wrong.

This behavior stems from a deep sense of guilt and shame that they carry around. They feel responsible for any discomfort or conflict, even when it’s not their fault.

This habit of over-apologizing can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy, reinforcing their belief that they’re always in the wrong.

Not only that, but it also sends a message to others that they are open to being taken advantage of, further eroding their boundaries and self-respect.

It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and while apologizing when we’re at fault is crucial, unnecessary apologies can undermine our self-confidence and make us seem less assertive.

Healthy relationships depend on clear communication and mutual respect, not constant apologies.

3) Neglecting personal needs

Many women prone to lacking self-respect and boundaries often place others’ needs before their own.

They may constantly be on the call of duty for their friends, family, or partners, neglecting their own well-being in the process.

For example, they might skip meals to help a friend in need or forego sleep to stay up late consoling a partner.

While this level of selflessness can seem admirable, it’s important to realize that it’s not sustainable nor healthy in the long run.

Remember, it’s okay to say no and take time for self-care. Everyone deserves to have their needs met and to feel cared for.

After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup; taking care of yourself enables you to take better care of others too.

4) Accepting poor treatment

Have you ever seen someone continually put up with behavior they clearly don’t deserve? This is often the case with women who lack self-respect and boundaries.

Whether it’s a friend who’s always taking advantage of their generosity or a partner who doesn’t treat them right, they tend to tolerate it without protest.

Why do they do it?

Because they either feel that they don’t deserve better or fear that standing up for themselves might end the relationship.

This mindset traps them in a cycle of poor treatment, where their silence is mistaken for acceptance.

But as the saying goes, “We teach people how to treat us.” In other words, if we want to be treated well, we’ve got to make it clear what we will and won’t accept. 

That starts with setting clear boundaries and showing others that we value ourselves. And if they won’t respect that, then out they go.

This brings me to the next point…

5) Avoiding confrontation

Most of the time, women who lack boundaries are that way because they’re afraid of confrontation.

There was a woman I once knew, who would do just about anything to avoid a difficult conversation. If someone upset her, instead of addressing the problem, she would often brush it aside or even blame herself for feeling upset.

This is a common trait among women who lack self-respect and boundaries. They fear that confrontation might lead to conflict or rejection, so they choose to suppress their feelings.

However, avoiding confrontation doesn’t make the problem disappear. Instead, it often leads to resentment and further harm to one’s self-esteem.

Because, as psychologist Jonice Webb breaks it down, “What you have just done is send a message to your deepest self that you don’t matter, that you are not worth standing up for.”

Healthy communication is vital in any relationship, and sometimes that involves having tough conversations. It’s okay — no, it’s imperative — to express your feelings and stand up for yourself when necessary.

6) Settling for less

Lastly, some women who struggle with self-respect and boundaries often settle for less than they deserve.

They might stay in a mediocre job, a one-sided friendship, or an unfulfilling relationship, thinking they can’t do or get any better.

This is a self-defeating mindset that limits their potential and robs them of the chance to truly thrive.

It’s crucial to understand that settling for less doesn’t do anyone any favors, least of all themselves.

Everyone deserves to be happy, fulfilled, and respected. So don’t sell yourself short. Acknowledge your worth, set your standards high, and don’t be afraid to pursue what you genuinely want and deserve.

It’s your life, and you’re the one who gets to decide its worth.

The importance of self-worth

The most crucial takeaway from all of these behaviors is the importance of self-worth. Women who lack self-respect and boundaries often struggle with their sense of self-worth.

Understanding your worth and respecting yourself is the foundation for setting healthy boundaries.

It empowers you to make decisions that serve your best interests and prevents you from settling for less than you deserve.

Remember, respect and boundaries start with you. When you value yourself, others will follow suit.

It’s a journey, and it may take time, but it’s absolutely worth it. You are worth it.