I’ve always been the type of person who worries about saying the wrong thing, or worse, not saying anything at all.

Social situations have a way of making you feel exposed, especially when you don’t quite know how to manage them.

It’s not that we’re trying to be rude—we’re just trying to figure out how to blend in without tripping over every social cue.

For those of us who lean toward the socially awkward side, we’re genuinely not trying to ignore people or be standoffish.

We just have our own way of moving through conversations and interactions, and sometimes, it doesn’t come out quite right.

So, let’s talk about the little things we do that might seem rude but really, they’re just signs of us trying our best to get by.

1) Overthinking interactions

We’ve all been there – running a conversation over and over in our heads, stressing about every little detail.

For socially awkward people, this is a persistent reality. They tend to overthink every interaction, often leading them to be overly cautious or hesitant.

This behavior can sometimes be mistaken for rudeness. For instance, they might take too long to respond to a simple question or seem disinterested in a conversation.

But it’s not that they don’t care or are being impolite. They’re just trying to avoid saying the wrong thing.

2) Struggling with eye contact

This one hits close to home for me. I’ve always found it a bit challenging to maintain eye contact during conversations.

For those of us who are socially awkward, this struggle is real. We often either avoid eye contact entirely or hold it for too long, making the other person uncomfortable.

I remember a time when I was chatting with a colleague at a work event.

I was so worried about coming off as uninterested that I ended up maintaining eye contact for what felt like an eternity, making the situation awkward.

People often interpret this behavior as rudeness or indifference. But in reality, we’re just trying to balance our discomfort with the social expectation of eye contact.

In all honesty, we’re just dealing with social anxiety.

3) Interrupting conversations

Socially awkward individuals sometimes struggle with the natural ebb and flow of conversation.

They might interrupt others mid-sentence, not out of disrespect, but because of their anxiety to express their thoughts before they forget them.

This interruption can come off as rude or dismissive, but it’s rarely intentional.

In fact, a study published in 2023 found that while long gaps between strangers in conversation signal discomfort or disconnection, these same gaps between friends often reflect deeper connection, allowing space for mutual reflection.

Socially awkward individuals, who may struggle with turn-taking, might misinterpret these natural pauses and feel the need to jump in prematurely, disrupting the flow unintentionally.

So next time someone interrupts you, it might not be a sign of rudeness. It could simply be their struggle with managing the complexities of social conversation.

4) Avoiding small talk

Small talk is a big challenge for those who are socially awkward. The idea of initiating or engaging in casual chit-chat can be daunting, and often, they might choose to avoid it altogether.

This avoidance can come off as rudeness or disinterest. You might think they’re ignoring you or don’t value your conversation. But in reality, it’s their discomfort with small talk that’s keeping them silent.

Interestingly, research shows that avoiding small talk might not be such a bad thing.

A study published in 2010 used an innovative method to record participants’ conversations and found that those who had less small talk and more meaningful conversations tended to report higher levels of happiness.

So, while small talk may seem like a necessary social skill, skipping it doesn’t just reflect social awkwardness—it could also align with seeking more substantive, fulfilling interactions.

If someone doesn’t engage in light banter with you, it’s not necessarily a sign of rudeness.

It might just be their social awkwardness showing—or perhaps, like many happier individuals, they simply prefer deeper conversations.

5) Difficulty in expressing emotions

Imagine being in a room full of people laughing, but you just can’t seem to catch the joke. Or everyone around you is teary-eyed, and you can’t figure out why.

For socially awkward individuals, expressing and understanding emotions can be a real struggle.

This difficulty often leads to reactions that are out of sync with the situation. They might laugh at inappropriate times or not react at all when everyone else is emotional.

People might perceive this as rude or insensitive behavior. But beneath that seemingly cold exterior is a heart that’s trying its best to connect, to understand, and to fit in.

So, when someone reacts unexpectedly or not at all, it may not be rudeness. It might just be their struggle with deciphering the complex world of human emotions.

6) Misjudging personal space

There’s an unspoken rule about personal space that most of us understand intuitively. But for those who are socially awkward, like me, this understanding doesn’t always come naturally.

I’ve often found myself either standing too far away, making the conversation seem impersonal, or getting too close, making others uncomfortable. It’s a delicate balance that I’ve had to learn over time.

This misjudgment of personal space can often be misconstrued as rudeness. But it’s not intentional – we’re just trying to figure out the right distance that feels comfortable for everyone involved.

So, if someone seems to be invading your personal space or standing too far away, just keep in mind that it might not be rudeness – just a social misstep.

7) Over-apologizing

Have you ever noticed someone apologizing excessively? For the socially awkward, saying “sorry” can become a reflex action, even when there’s nothing to apologize for.

This excessive apologizing can often be seen as insincere or annoying. But they are not being rude. It’s simply an attempt to avoid conflict and maintain harmony.

If someone is constantly apologizing, it might not be a sign of rudeness. It might just be their way of awkwardly managing their social interactions, trying to keep things smooth and conflict-free.

8) Seemingly aloof or indifferent

The most crucial thing to understand about socially awkward individuals is that they are not deliberately trying to be rude. Their seeming aloofness or indifference is often a mask they wear to cope with their social anxiety.

What might come off as rudeness is often a facade of self-protection. Beneath it, there’s a person trying their best to fit into social norms and expectations.

Final thoughts

I’ve learned over time that what looks like rudeness on the outside is often someone’s way of coping with the anxiety that social situations bring. And believe me, I’ve been there more times than I can count.

The thing is, we’re all just trying to figure it out. If I’ve come off as distant or interrupted at the wrong moment, it’s not because I don’t care—it’s because I’m doing my best not to fumble the interaction.

When you meet someone who seems a little off in their approach, maybe take a second look. It could be that they’re just like me—going through social situations with a few missteps along the way.