Struggling with self-esteem isn’t uncommon, but some people have it worse than others.

When your opinion of yourself is low, you’re more likely to be self-destructive.

That can mean anything from allowing others to walk all over you to failing to recognize your strengths and celebrate your accomplishments.

Here are 13 behaviors of people who have very little self-respect, according to psychology.

It’s time to stop undermining yourself.

1) They engage in negative self-talk

Negative self-talk is a hallmark behavior of individuals with no self-respect.

When you have a low opinion of yourself, you tend to focus excessively on your perceived flaws and weaknesses.

You disregard your more positive traits and allow your inner critic to really do a number on you.

According to psychology, this can lead to stunted growth and mental health problems.

Plus, negative self-talk leaves you prone to rumination.

Obsessing over mistakes or shortcomings keeps you from moving forward and noticing everything good that’s happening in your life.

2) They downplay their achievements

I’ve been struggling with self-esteem for a big chunk of my life, and an annoying habit I’ve developed as a consequence is to downplay my achievements.

Whenever I accomplish something, I tell myself it’s not a big deal.

Everyone could have done it. I don’t deserve praise for pulling it off.

When I assess my performance objectively, I realize that no – not everyone can do what I do.

Trouble is, I find it tricky to internalize that knowledge, especially on days when my inner critic is loud.

It takes effort for me to acknowledge my wins and allow others to celebrate me.

I’m working on it.

People who have very little self-respect should, too.

3) They neglect self-care

Another sign you might have issues in the self-respect department is that you don’t do nice things for yourself.

You don’t see yourself as important, so you don’t take good care of yourself:

• You have a sedentary lifestyle with minimal physical activity
• Your diet is poor
• You don’t get enough sleep
• You allow stress to get the better of you
• You don’t bother with your appearance
• You repeatedly put off responsibilities, so you’re perpetually overwhelmed

You are entitled to put time and effort into yourself.

Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Not even your pesky inner voice. 

4) They let others to cross their boundaries

People who have very little self-respect can struggle to maintain and enforce personal boundaries.

They have difficulty asserting themselves, and it impacts their well-being.

According to psychology, setting boundaries is essential when trying to cultivate self-respect.

Start by understanding your limits and be explicit with others about what kind of behavior is acceptable.

You’ll become resentful and frustrated otherwise.

5) They give too much

Since we’re on the topic of boundaries, people who don’t have a lot of respect for themselves tend to be people pleasers.

They might be helpful by nature, but their dwindling self-esteem pushes their helpfulness to extremes.

They frequently make sacrifices to ensure that everyone around them is happy, even when no one asks them to.

As you might imagine, this doesn’t leave a lot of room for their own happiness to bloom.  

6) They stay in toxic relationships

People with very little self-respect are prone to stay in toxic relationships due to a lack of belief in their worth.

They feel they don’t merit better treatment, which leads them to tolerate disrespect and abuse.

Additionally, the fear of rejection or loneliness outweighs their desire for respect.

They end up valuing the toxic relationship over their well-being, perpetuating a cycle of low self-esteem and unhealthy relational patterns.

Whether with relatives, partners, or friends, they repeatedly get the short end of the stick.

If that’s you, I’m sending a tight virtual hug your way.

You deserve so much better.

7) They seek validation from others

When your self-worth is fragile, you’re more likely to become dependent on external feedback.

What does that mean?

Simply put, you need others to affirm your value and provide the reassurance you can’t find within yourself.

Without self-respect, you question your value, doubt your abilities, and dismiss your intuition.

You turn to others to fill this void, hoping to receive the affirmation you lack internally:

• You always ask for a second opinion when having to make a decision
• Once you make the decision, you are desperate for people to agree with you
• You don’t voice opposing opinions to avoid alienating people
• You believe that others know what’s best for you
• You compromise your authenticity to fit in

You need to learn how to trust your own judgment, preferably sooner rather than later.  

8) They compare themselves to others

Lack of self-worth might also make you compare yourself to others, according to psychology.

Instead of deriving confidence from within, you seek external benchmarks to gauge your worthiness.

Playing the comparison game is detrimental as it causes feelings of inferiority.

When you perceive others as more successful, attractive, or happier, it reinforces your negative self-image.

It’s a vicious circle, indeed.

9) They over-apologize

Given that people who lack self-respect don’t have a particularly high opinion of themselves, they can often be heard over-apologizing.

Even when they’re not the ones at fault.

Over-apologizing stems from a deep-seated need to placate others and maintain harmony.

It’s a way to preemptively address potential faults or mistakes.

Building self-respect means realizing that you have a right to exist.

You don’t have to apologize for taking up space or voicing your thoughts.

You deserve to be on this confusing planet just as much as everyone else.

10) They can’t take compliments

Compliments can cause people with low self-esteem anxiety, according to psychology.

Praise clashes with their deep-seated beliefs about how inadequate they are.

When someone gives them a compliment, they interpret it as disingenuous, leading them to dismiss or deflect it:

• Oh, it was nothing, really.
• Thanks, but someone else actually did all the work.
• If only you knew how many mistakes I made along the way.
• You’re too kind, but I don’t think I did that well.

They might also fear that accepting compliments sets expectations they can’t meet, exacerbating their self-doubt.

11) They succumb to bad habits

Many people with little self-respect don’t trust their ability to make positive changes in their lives.

So, they engage in behaviors that provide immediate gratification but have negative long-term consequences.

Excessive escapism. Substance abuse. Overeating. Shopping addictions.

Their diminished sense of self-worth causes them to disregard their well-being, making it easier for them to fall into patterns of self-destructive behavior.

These unhealthy habits act as temporary distractions, providing fleeting comfort.

The problem?

They wreak havoc on your mental health in the long run.

12) They get demolished by criticism

It’s natural to take criticism in stride when you have a healthy opinion of yourself.

You don’t interpret it as a personal attack. You view it as an opportunity to learn.

People who lack self-respect, meanwhile, struggle to handle criticism because it reinforces their negative self-image.

They internalize negative feedback and blame themselves for falling short.

Bad feedback shatters their already fading confidence.

13) They settle for less

Finally, a lack of self-respect leaves you susceptible to settling for less in all areas.

According to psychology, a pessimistic outlook on life is a common symptom of people who struggle with self-esteem.  

You don’t trust yourself or believe that you deserve nice things, so you settle for whatever life throws your way.

Unfulfilling jobs. Bad relationships. Superficial friendships.

A smaller life than you want.

You daydream about aiming higher but don’t have the confidence to take the risks required to craft the destiny you want.

Don’t resign yourself to a sense of hopelessness and defeat.

You’re more powerful than you give yourself credit for.

Final thoughts

If you’ve recognized yourself in the above, remember that you’re the only one capable of improving your circumstances.

Maybe the universe dealt you a tough hand, or maybe you didn’t have enough supportive people in your life to help you develop confidence.

Whatever the cause of your lack of self-respect may be, you can build it up.

Learn to be kind to yourself and use positive affirmations to rewire your brain.

A mental health professional can assist you as you slowly begin to prioritize your needs over those of others.

As long as you can change your mindset, you can change your life.