7 behaviors of parents who raise standout and confident children, says a psychologist

Tara Whitmore by Tara Whitmore | December 22, 2024, 4:49 pm

Ever wonder what sets apart parents whose kids seem to radiate confidence and excel in life?

It’s not about endless resources or strict routines—it’s about the behaviors they model every single day.

Parenting is one of those things that everyone has opinions about, but when you dig into the research, some patterns are undeniable.

As a parent myself, I’ve had my fair share of moments wondering, Am I doing this right?

The good news is, raising confident, standout children doesn’t require perfection. In fact, it’s more about intentionality—small, everyday actions that foster independence, resilience, and a strong sense of self.

Let’s explore the key behaviors psychologists say truly make the difference.

1) Role models

In the realm of parenting, there’s seldom something more influential than modeling.

Psychologists affirm this – children often mirror their parents’ behaviors.

Picture this. You’re a parent who’s constantly juggling work and personal life, yet you always make time for self-improvement. Your child sees this and absorbs the belief that learning and growing are continuous processes.

This is the power of role modeling.

Role modeling, as a concept, is simple. It’s about being the person you want your child to become. The actions you exhibit, the values you uphold, they all shape your child’s personality and outlook on life.

Children are observant, they notice more than we give them credit for. They see how you handle stress, how you treat other people, how you manage your time. And they often imitate these behaviors.

So if you want to raise a standout and confident child, start by embodying those qualities yourself.

But remember, it’s crucial to be genuine if you wish to effectively model these behaviors.

2) Encouragement over perfection

This one hits close to home for me. Growing up, my parents were my biggest cheerleaders.

In my family, effort was always celebrated more than results. I remember when I first tried out for the school choir. I was nervous, unsure of myself, and my voice cracked during the audition – it was far from perfect.

But when I got home and shared the experience with my parents, they were nothing but supportive. They praised me for stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new. They didn’t focus on the shaky performance but on my courage to participate.

From then on, I learned that it’s okay to try and fail, and that it’s more important to give things a shot rather than fear failure. It instilled in me a confidence that I carry to this day.

Parents who prioritize encouragement over perfection nurture self-assured children who are unafraid to take risks. They see failure not as a setback but as a stepping stone towards success.

So remember, it’s not about fostering perfection but about encouraging effort and resilience in your child.

3) Open communication

Communication is the backbone of every relationship, and this holds true in parenting as well. Open and honest dialogue between parents and children is crucial for the child’s emotional health and confidence.

Research shows that children who regularly engage in meaningful conversations with their parents tend to have higher self-esteem.

When parents communicate openly with their kids, they show their children that their thoughts and feelings are valid and important. This not only boosts their self-worth but also equips them with the ability to express themselves effectively.

So whether it’s about their day at school or a new hobby they’re interested in, make time to talk with your child. Listen actively, respond thoughtfully, and validate their feelings. This form of communication builds trust and understanding, fostering confidence in your child.

4) Fostering independence

There’s a fine line between being supportive and being overbearing. Overstepping this boundary can hinder your child’s ability to become self-reliant.

Parents who raise standout and confident children know the importance of fostering independence. They understand that by allowing their kids to take on responsibilities, make mistakes, and solve problems on their own, they’re equipping them with the skills needed to navigate life confidently.

It can be challenging – seeing your child struggle and resisting the urge to swoop in and fix things for them. But remember, every time they overcome a problem on their own, they’re building resilience and gaining confidence in their abilities.

Allow your child to take charge of age-appropriate tasks, let them make decisions, and guide them through the consequences. These experiences will foster a sense of independence and instill confidence in them.

5) Providing a safe space

When I was a teenager, my room was my sanctuary. A space where I could retreat to, to process my thoughts and emotions without judgment. My parents respected this space and it played a significant role in shaping my sense of self.

Creating a safe space for your child to express themselves openly, without fear of criticism or judgment, is crucial in raising confident children. This space doesn’t necessarily have to be physical, it could be figurative – a comfort zone where your child feels heard and understood.

This safe space allows your child to explore their thoughts and emotions freely. It instills in them the confidence to express themselves, knowing that they’ll be accepted and loved unconditionally.

So, create that safe haven for your child. Let it be a place where they can freely express their fears, dreams, and even their failures without fearing judgment or reprimands.

6) Celebrating individuality

Every child is unique, with their own set of strengths, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes. Parents who raise confident children recognize this individuality and celebrate it.

These parents understand that comparing their child to others only undermines their confidence. Instead, they focus on their child’s unique qualities and encourage them to embrace their individuality.

By doing so, they’re teaching their child to appreciate their uniqueness and to not be swayed by societal pressures of fitting in. They’re nurturing self-assured individuals who are comfortable in their own skin.

So, celebrate your child’s individuality. Praise their strengths, help them work on their weaknesses, and encourage them to be true to themselves. This will instill in them a sense of self-worth and confidence that will benefit them throughout life.

7) Unconditional love and support

At the end of the day, the most powerful tool in raising confident children is unconditional love and support. This means loving and supporting your child for who they are, regardless of their successes or failures.

When children feel loved and supported, they develop a strong sense of self-worth. This self-worth then translates into confidence.

So, shower your child with love and support. Show them that you believe in them, even when they might not believe in themselves. This will enable them to grow into self-assured individuals who are confident in their abilities and potential.

Final thoughts: It’s all about connection

The essence of raising standout and confident children ultimately boils down to connection.

The bond between a parent and a child, nuanced and profound, significantly shapes the child’s self-esteem and confidence.

Whether it’s through open communication, role modeling, or providing unconditional love and support, these connections that you nurture will pave the path for your child’s self-confidence.

As you embark on the parenting journey, remember that every interaction is an opportunity to deepen this connection. The effort you invest in building this relationship will reflect in your child’s confidence and resilience.

So, as you nurture these behaviors, remember the power of connection. It could very well be the key to raising standout and confident children.