7 bad habits control freaks don’t even realize they have

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | January 25, 2024, 6:14 pm

“You’re a perfectionist, that’s all!”—heard that one before?

Well, here’s the scoop.

Being a perfectionist isn’t always about striving for excellence. Sometimes, it masks a hidden control freak lurking beneath the surface.

If you find yourself engaged in endless micro-managing, or you’re constantly stressed because things are not going “your way”, you might be a control freak and not even know it.

Yes, you heard it right. Control freak.

What’s worse is that these tendencies can be off-putting to those around you, creating unnecessary tension in both personal and professional relationships.

So, if this has got you thinking – “Am I unknowingly a control freak?”

Then this article is for you.

Let’s peel back the layers of your behavior and delve into some of these bad habits control freaks often don’t realize they have.

1) Always having the last say

Picture this:

You’re in a group discussion or team meeting.

The conversation is flowing, ideas are being shared…but wait, what’s this?

You feel an overwhelming urge to have the final word, to wrap things up with your own thoughts.

Here’s the rub.

This need for the last say might just be your inner control freak at play. It’s a subtle way of asserting dominance and ensuring your perspective is the ‘right’ or ‘final’ one.

But guess what?

This can stifle others’ voices and make them feel unheard. Plus, it might even lead to missed opportunities for learning and growth.

After all, nobody knows everything—no, not even you, no matter how much of a perfectionist you might be.

2) Difficulty in delegating tasks

I used to believe that if you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.

So I’d take on all tasks, big or small, convinced that only I could execute them perfectly.

This was my control freak side taking over. I was reluctant to delegate tasks, scared that they wouldn’t be done up to my exacting standards.

Guess what happened?

I ended up stressed out, overworked, and still dissatisfied with the results. It was a no-win situation.

Turns out, trusting others and giving them a chance to prove their worth can be a huge relief.

It not only frees up your time but also helps build a more harmonious team environment.

Take it from me—loosen the reins a bit. You might be pleasantly surprised by what others can do.

3) Inability to handle spontaneity

A couple of years back, I planned a road trip with some friends. I mapped out every detail, from the route we would take to the snacks we would eat.

Sounds like a well-organized trip, right?

Wrong!

My friends decided to take a spontaneous detour to visit a picturesque town en route.

Instead of enjoying this unexpected adventure, I was on edge, anxious about how this change would affect our ‘carefully crafted’ schedule.

This is your control freak alert!

Sometimes, being too rigid or unable to handle spontaneity can rob you of life’s beautiful surprises. It can also make you come across as uptight and inflexible to others.

So, what’s the moral here?

Learn to embrace the unexpected. The best moments often come from unplanned adventures and spontaneous decisions.

And remember, it’s okay if things don’t always go according to plan!

4) Being overly critical

Have you ever had an instance when a friend or colleague presented an idea to you, and instead of appreciating their effort, you immediately started pointing out the flaws?

If you have, that’s a classic sign of a control freak.

While it’s important to have standards, constantly criticizing others can demotivate them and harm your relationships.

And what’s worse is that you might not even realize you’re doing it!

So, what’s the remedy?

Start focusing on the positives. Give credit where it’s due. Constructive feedback is great, but remember to balance it with praise and encouragement.

It’s a small change, but it can make a world of difference in your interactions with others.

5) Obsessing over details

Picture this:

You’re planning an event, and you’re so engrossed in deciding the specific shade of blue for the napkins that you overlook key aspects like budget or guest list.

Seem a bit excessive?

Well, you’re not alone. Control freaks tend to get caught up in the minutiae and miss the big picture.

This obsession with details can leave you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. It can also frustrate those around you, who may perceive it as unnecessary nitpicking.

So, what’s the solution?

Start practicing the art of selective perfectionism. Focus your energy on things that truly matter and let go of the rest.

Trust me, no one will remember the shade of the napkins, but they will remember the joy and warmth of the event.

6) Fear of losing control

I remember planning a surprise birthday party for a close friend.

The idea was exciting, but the thought of things not going as planned filled me with anxiety. I found myself losing sleep, worrying about every possible scenario where things could go wrong.

This fear of losing control is a key trait of a control freak. It can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety, impacting your mental health.

It took me some time, but I realized that it’s okay if things don’t go perfectly. Life is unpredictable, and that’s what makes it interesting.

7) Difficulty accepting help

Control freaks often find it hard to accept help from others. They believe that they can handle everything on their own, that they don’t need assistance.

But here’s the truth:

Everyone needs help at some point.

Accepting assistance is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. It shows that you value teamwork and understand that two heads are often better than one.

So, if you’re offered help, take it with grace. It doesn’t mean you’re incapable or inefficient—it simply means you’re human, just like everyone else.

Embrace the journey

Recognizing these habits in yourself can be a tough pill to swallow. It’s likely that some of these control-freak tendencies have been deeply ingrained for years.

But here’s the silver lining:

Realizing these habits is the first step towards change. It’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and evolve into a better version of yourself.

Start by observing your behaviors. Notice when your need for control kicks in.

Ask yourself, “Am I being overly critical? Is my fear of losing control causing me stress? Am I trying to do everything myself?”

Once you begin noticing these patterns, you can start making conscious choices to change them.

It won’t be easy, and it definitely won’t happen overnight, but every small step, every moment of choosing to let go, is a victory.

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