If you recognize these 8 signs, you have above-average emotional intelligence

Olivia Reid by Olivia Reid | July 31, 2025, 5:52 pm

Navigating life’s ups and downs isn’t always a walk in the park.

Sometimes, it feels like you’re navigating a maze blindfolded, while other times, it’s as simple as connecting the dots.

But what if I told you that some people have a special ability, a sort of sixth sense, that allows them to handle life’s roller coaster with grace and resilience?

And no, I’m not talking about psychic powers or anything out of a superhero movie. It’s something much closer to home, and it’s called emotional intelligence.

The funny thing is, you may already possess above-average emotional intelligence without even knowing it.

In this article, I’ll be revealing eight telltale signs that indicate an above-average emotional intelligence.

If you find yourself nodding in recognition as you read through these signs, you may just be part of the select few who have this remarkable ability.

But don’t worry if you don’t – emotional intelligence can be nurtured and developed over time. After all, we’re all works in progress, right?

Let’s dive in and find out more about these eight signs of above-average emotional intelligence.

1) You understand and effectively manage your emotions

Life is a roller coaster, and it’s not always the highest highs or the lowest lows that are the most challenging. Sometimes, it’s the twists and turns in between that can really throw you off track.

If you have above-average emotional intelligence, you have a knack for understanding and managing your own emotions.

This doesn’t mean you never feel upset or stressed.

Instead, it means that when you do feel these emotions, you can identify them, understand why you’re feeling them, and navigate through them in a healthy manner.

For example, let’s say you’re feeling frustrated at work.

Instead of lashing out or bottling up your emotions, you recognize the frustration, understand that it’s stemming from a particular task that’s proving challenging, and devise a strategy to deal with it – maybe by taking a quick break, seeking help, or breaking down the task into smaller parts.

This ability to be in tune with and manage your emotions is a clear sign of emotional intelligence.

It’s not about being emotionless; rather, it’s about understanding your emotions so well that they become tools for personal growth and resilience.

2) You’re good at reading others’ emotions

Being empathetic is a significant part of emotional intelligence. It’s not just about understanding your own emotions, but also about tuning into the feelings of those around you.

For instance, there was this one time when I walked into a meeting with my team. On the surface, everything seemed normal. But something felt off. I noticed a colleague of mine, usually cheerful and energetic, seemed a bit low.

Instead of ignoring it and moving on with the meeting, I decided to check in with him later. Turns out, he was going through a tough time personally and appreciated my concern.

This ability to pick up on subtle cues and understand what others might be feeling is a key sign of emotional intelligence.

It’s not about prying into people’s personal lives or being nosy; it’s about being sensitive to their emotional states and responding appropriately.

3) You’re adaptable to change

As the great Charles Darwin once said, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

This principle applies not only to survival in the natural world but also to thriving in our complex emotional landscapes.

Those with above-average emotional intelligence understand that life is full of changes and uncertainties. Instead of resisting or fearing these changes, they adapt and evolve.

Why?

Because they understand their emotions well enough to know that fear of change is natural but not necessarily helpful or productive.

They don’t let fear dictate their actions. Instead, they acknowledge it, understand it, and then move forward.

For instance, when faced with a major career change, they don’t panic or resist.

They understand their initial fear or apprehension but then shift their focus on understanding the new role and how best to fit into it – adapting and evolving with the change rather than against it.

Adaptability doesn’t mean blind acceptance of every change. It means thoughtful adjustment, guided by an understanding of one’s own emotional responses.

4) You have a high level of self-awareness

Did you know that self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence? Without it, we’re essentially sailing a ship without a compass.

Those with above-average emotional intelligence have a deep understanding of their values, strengths, weaknesses, and motives. They don’t just react impulsively to situations.

Instead, they possess the ability to pause, assess themselves, and then respond in a way that aligns with their personal values and beliefs.

For instance, if they make a mistake, they don’t wallow in self-pity or blame others. They have the self-awareness to acknowledge their error, understand its implications, learn from it and move forward.

Having a high level of self-awareness means understanding oneself at a deeper level – acknowledging both strengths and areas for improvement without judgment.

It’s about treating oneself with the same empathy and understanding that one would extend to others. That’s the sign of someone with above-average emotional intelligence.

5) You’re an exceptional listener

Listening is an art, and those with above-average emotional intelligence have mastered it.

You see, being a good listener is more than just being silent when someone else is talking.

It’s about giving them your full attention, showing empathy, and responding in a way that makes the other person feel heard and understood.

I’m sure we’ve all been in conversations where we can tell the other person is just waiting for their turn to speak. That’s not what I’m talking about here.

Exceptional listeners are fully present in the conversation. They don’t interrupt or rush to give advice. They listen to understand, not to respond.

For instance, if a friend shares some personal challenges with you, an exceptional listener won’t jump in with solutions or try to “fix” the situation.

Instead, they’ll offer empathy and support, allowing the friend to feel understood and less alone.

Being an exceptional listener is a clear sign of emotional intelligence. It shows that you value others’ perspectives and emotions as much as your own.

6) You’re able to maintain healthy relationships

It’s no surprise that those with above-average emotional intelligence often have healthier and more satisfying relationships.

Why? Because they understand that relationships are not just about taking, but also about giving.

They’re not afraid to express their feelings, but they also know when to step back and give others space.

They listen, empathize, and validate the feelings of others, fostering a sense of trust and mutual respect.

Let’s say you have a disagreement with someone close to you. Instead of getting defensive or trying to win the argument, you strive to understand the other person’s point of view.

You validate their feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. You work together to find a solution that respects both parties’ needs and feelings.

This ability to maintain healthy relationships, where there is a balance of give-and-take, mutual respect, and understanding, is a strong indication of above-average emotional intelligence.

It shows that you can navigate the complex world of human emotions in a way that fosters connection and mutual respect.

7) You handle criticism constructively

Nobody likes to be criticized. It’s uncomfortable, sometimes hurtful, and can often cause defensive reactions.

But those with above-average emotional intelligence handle criticism differently. They don’t view it as a personal attack but rather as an opportunity for growth and learning.

For example, if your boss gives you feedback on a project that didn’t go as well as expected, instead of getting defensive or upset, you take a step back.

You assess the situation objectively, understanding that the feedback is about the work and not about you as a person.

You take the constructive parts of the criticism, learn from it, and use it to improve your future performance.

This ability to constructively handle criticism is a clear indication of emotional intelligence.

It shows that you can separate your self-worth from your performance and use negative experiences as stepping stones towards personal growth and development.

8) You practice empathy, not just sympathy

Finally, a distinguishing sign of those with above-average emotional intelligence is their ability to practice empathy, not just sympathy.

Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone’s situation, while empathy is putting yourself in their shoes and understanding their feelings from their perspective.

For instance, if a friend is going through a tough time, sympathy might involve feeling sorry for them or offering platitudes.

But empathy goes deeper. It involves understanding their feelings, validating their experience, and offering support in a way that resonates with them.

This ability to empathize allows you to build deeper connections and understand others on a more profound level.

More than just understanding your own emotions, it’s about stepping out of your own shoes and into someone else’s.

Practicing empathy is perhaps the most significant sign of above-average emotional intelligence.

It shows that you’re not only in tune with your own emotions but also deeply sensitive to the emotional states of those around you.

Reflecting on your journey

Recognizing these signs within yourself is the first step towards embracing and honing your emotional intelligence. It’s a journey, not a destination, and it’s okay to take your time.

The beauty of emotional intelligence is that it isn’t fixed; it’s something that can be cultivated and nurtured over time.

With self-awareness, empathy, and the other traits we’ve discussed, you can navigate life’s highs and lows with grace and resilience.

As you reflect on these signs, consider how they show up in your life.

Are there areas where you excel? Are there areas where you could improve? Take this opportunity to appreciate your strengths and acknowledge areas for growth.

Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about striving for progress. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a victory in itself.

Don’t forget to celebrate your wins along the way and remember – every journey starts with a single step. Take that step today towards nurturing your emotional intelligence.

Embrace the journey and remember, as Maya Angelou once said, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” And so can you.