Have you ever found yourself at a fancy event—maybe a high-end gala or a lavish charity ball—feeling like you’re on an entirely different planet?

I’ve been there.

The clinking of crystal glasses, the hushed polite conversations, and the ambient classical music can feel downright otherworldly if you’re not used to these kinds of gatherings.

And if you’re like me the first few times, you might catch yourself doing some pretty cringe-worthy things without even realizing it.

We’re talking about stuff that people who move in luxurious circles wouldn’t think twice about.

Today, I want to walk you through nine of these telltale signs.
If any of them ring a bell, it might be a gentle nudge that you’re not used to the so-called “rich life” just yet.

Let’s get into it.

1. You ignore the dress code (or completely miss it)

One of the biggest giveaways that you’re out of your depth at a fancy event?
Wearing something that screams, “I didn’t read the invite.”

I remember my first black-tie gala: I showed up in a blazer and jeans, blissfully ignorant.

The invitation said “formal.” In my mind, a blazer was “formal enough.”

But once I saw the sea of tailored tuxes and flowing gowns, I realized I might as well have worn pajamas.

It’s all about respecting the occasion.

If you’re unsure of the dress code, a quick Google search or discreet question to the host can save you a ton of embarrassment.

2. You go overboard with the freebies

We’ve all been there—spotting a fancy hors d’oeuvre tray or an open bar feels like hitting the jackpot.

But if you find yourself elbowing through the crowd to refill your champagne flute every ten minutes, you might be new to the scene.

Same goes for stuffing your bag with freebies.

Gift bags and complimentary items are cool, but hoarding everything in sight is a red flag you’re not used to abundance.

As Seneca once said, “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”

If you’re truly comfortable, you won’t feel the need to grab everything.

3. You overshare on social media

I once attended a corporate fundraiser filled with local business bigshots.

I’d never seen so many well-dressed people in one room.

So I did what any excited newbie would do: I documented every single moment on Instagram, from the oyster bar to the grand piano in the lobby.

Here’s the thing: in wealthier circles, there’s an unspoken etiquette around social media.

A few photos are fine, but bombarding your followers with every detail screams, “I’m here for the bragging rights.”

It’s fun to share, but remember: the real value is in connecting with the people right in front of you.

4. You pile your plate sky-high

There’s something about a lavish buffet that draws out the “all-you-can-eat” mindset.

I once loaded lobster tails and shrimp until my plate looked like a small mountain.

If you’re only used to seeing fancy food on special occasions, you might feel the urge to try it all at once.

But at upscale events, small, polite servings and multiple rounds are more the norm.

That way, you can savor everything without looking like you haven’t eaten in weeks.

5. You get flustered by the table settings

Forks. Knives. Spoons. Goblets. Bread plates.
It can feel like you just walked into a giant puzzle.

Upscale dinners often come with enough silverware to make you question your sanity.

But the rule is pretty simple: start with the outer utensils and work your way in.

Look around discreetly if you’re unsure.

If you’re visibly perplexed, it’s a telltale sign this isn’t your usual scene.

6. You drop names or flaunt labels

I used to think that flaunting designer labels or name-dropping would make me fit in.

But here’s the reality: in truly elite circles, subtlety is king.

If you catch yourself repeatedly mentioning your fancy watch or rattling off high-profile contacts, you’re probably overcompensating.

“As Marcus Aurelius said, ‘The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.’”

If you’re preoccupied with impressing others, you’ll stand out for the wrong reasons.

Genuine wealth doesn’t need to shout—it whispers.

7. You struggle with small talk

Small talk at swanky parties can be an art form.

It’s not the usual “How’s the weather?” or “What’s on Netflix?”

People often chat about philanthropic endeavors, exotic travel, or subtle business connections.

If you find yourself fumbling for words, that’s a hint you’re still adapting.

But don’t sweat it—people are people.

Being genuinely curious about their interests goes a long way.

8. You’re visibly uncomfortable with the staff

A big part of upscale events is the attentive staff.

Servers, hosts, and coordinators are often on standby, ready to cater to your needs.

If you’ve never experienced this level of service, it can feel strange.

You might apologize excessively or act standoffish, unsure how to behave.

Politeness is key, of course, but overdoing it or seeming overly anxious can be a giveaway you’re out of your comfort zone.

A simple “Thank you” or “Yes, please” is enough.

9. You fuss over every cost

Maybe you see a wine list and your eyes nearly pop out at the prices.

You lean over to your friend, whispering, “They charge how much?!”

When you’re new to high-end events, it’s tough not to gawk at the idea of a thousand-dollar bottle of champagne being opened like it’s no big deal.

But making a public fuss about the cost is a clear sign you’re not used to it.

“As Alan Watts once remarked, ‘This is the real secret of life—to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now.’”

Enjoy the moment if you can.

If you’re not comfortable paying for pricey drinks, order something simpler.
No shame in that.

Rounding things off

Feeling like a newbie at a fancy event is normal.

We’ve all been the odd one out at some point, whether it’s at a black-tie soirée or a neighborhood potluck.

The goal isn’t to become a snob.

It’s about understanding the unspoken rules and carrying yourself with confidence—even if that means politely declining another glass of premium champagne.

If you recognize yourself in any of these nine habits, don’t worry.

Awareness is the first step to growth.

For me, learning this etiquette got easier once I stopped obsessing over fitting in and focused on genuine connections.

Over time, I’ve realized that true charm is more about how you make others feel than how much money you spend.

So next time you’re at a swanky gathering, take a breath, stay calm, and remember: everyone else is human, too.

That perspective can keep you grounded—whether you’re sipping high-end bubbly or just enjoying the cheese cubes.

Enjoy the journey, learn from the awkward moments, and embrace each new experience.

You might find that “rich life” has less to do with what’s in your wallet and more to do with how you carry yourself in any setting.