Have you ever noticed how some people quietly change their financial reality while the rest of us keep refreshing our bank apps?

I started paying closer attention after my divorce, when every dollar had a job and every hour mattered with a toddler in tow.

Back then, I thought “moving up” meant working more.

I was wrong.

It meant working differently, and just as important, avoiding what drags you down.

Here are ten things I have watched high-mobility people steer clear of, consistently and often ruthlessly.

I have also added one timely detail that helped me recently.

I just finished Rudá Iandê’s new book, and it influenced how I think about a few of these points. I will share that as we go, since his insights were a useful nudge to upgrade my habits in real life.

1. Complaining as a daily habit

Venting now and then is human.

Living in a drumbeat of blame is expensive.

People who level up do not give away their agency by narrating problems more than they design experiments.

They ask, “What is the smallest step that would make this 1% easier?”

Then they do it.

It sounds simple but it’s rare.

2. Lifestyle creep disguised as “self-care”

Earning more is exciting.

Spending more because you are earning more is the trap.

When my income grew after a promotion, I kept our apartment and swapped upgrades for a systematic “gap,” which was an automatic transfer that moved the raise into savings before I could see it.

Why? Because upwardly mobile folks avoid committing to fixed costs that do not buy back time, health, skills, or meaningful relationships.

They let their investments compound, not their monthly bills.

3. Status signaling and performative success

The truth is, most people are not watching you as closely as you think.

People who change class trajectories avoid expensive signaling through cars, clothes, or gadgets when the same money could build runway, education, or ownership.

They prefer quiet confidence to loud consumption.

Ask yourself: would I still want this if no one knew I had it?

4. Echo chambers, and the habit of ignoring “weak ties”

Opportunity often lives outside our comfort circle.

People who rise tend to avoid surrounding themselves only with familiar voices.

They create and maintain “weak ties,” meaning acquaintances and light-touch connections, because those bridges expose them to new ideas, industries, and roles.

A multi-year experiment on LinkedIn involving more than 20 million people provided causal evidence that weaker connections are better for job mobility than strong ties.

So when you are tempted to decline the meetup or ignore that intro email, remember this: your next step up may be two handshakes away.

5. Short-term dopamine over long-term leverage

Scrolling is easy.

Mastery is not.

Upwardly mobile folks avoid trading hours for empty stimulation.

They choose habits with compounding returns, such as learning a skill that commands higher rates, building a product once that sells many times, or documenting a process that can be delegated.

They optimize for leverage, not likes.

6. Chaotic money systems

If your finances rely on memory, you are already tired.

People who move up avoid ad hoc money management.

They automate.

Bills go on autopay, savings siphon on payday, and investments are scheduled monthly.

They also separate accounts to reduce decision fatigue. Operating money lives here, long-term money lives there, and there is no accidental overlap.

One more thing: they treat windfalls like a policy, not a surprise.

A simple rule, such as 70% invest or save, 20% obligations, 10% fun, can turn a good month into a better year.

7. The identity of “someone like me doesn’t…”

Limiting language is a ceiling in disguise.

High-mobility people avoid identity scripts that shrink their choices, such as “I am not a math person,” “People like us do not negotiate,” or “I could never start a business.”

They replace absolutes with curiosity. They ask what would make this less scary, and who has done it and how they started.

Beliefs shape effort, effort shapes skill, and skill shapes outcomes.

That is not magical thinking. It is behavioral mechanics.

8. Neglecting the boring fundamentals: sleep, self-control, spacing

People who climb often avoid burning the candle at both ends.

They protect sleep, schedule breaks, and build friction against impulses that sabotage long-term goals. Think phone in another room, snacks prepped, calendar blocks for deep work.

A famous longitudinal project, the Dunedin Study, followed children into adulthood and found that higher childhood self-control predicted better health and finances in adulthood, even after accounting for IQ and social class.

The study also showed that improvements in self-control over time were linked to better adult outcomes.

Here is where the book I just read gave me a practical boost. I had mentioned Rudá Iandê’s work before, and I recently finished his new book, Laughing in the Face of Chaos: A Politically Incorrect Shamanic Guide for Modern Life.

The book inspired me to pay closer attention to my body cues at the moment when I am about to make a low-quality choice.

He writes, “You have both the right and responsibility to explore and try until you know yourself deeply.” That line helped me pause before another late-night scroll and ask what I really needed.

I usually needed water, a walk, or sleep, not one more social feed. Rudá Iandê’s insights are direct and refreshingly practical, and if you are working on the basics like I am, his new book could be a helpful companion.

9. Hoarding information without acting on it

Courses, podcasts, newsletters, and feeds can fill every hour.

Upward movers avoid the “learning loop” where study replaces action.

They learn just enough to run the next test, then they learn from the results.

Action reduces uncertainty faster than opinions do.

Think of it as compounding iterations.

10. Playing only the short game

Our choices echo across generations, not just pay periods.

People who rise avoid decisions that feel good today but narrow tomorrow, such as high-interest debt, stagnant skills, or relationships that isolate them from new opportunities.

They push for moves that widen the option set for their future selves and for their kids through credentials, assets, networks, and health.

The longer arc matters. OECD work on social mobility has highlighted how long progress can take.

In Denmark, the average is about two generations for a child from a low-income family to reach mean income, while across the OECD the average is closer to four and a half generations, and in some countries the number is much higher.

A small, practical subtraction list

To make this concrete, here is a one-minute menu of subtractions that people who level up make regularly:

Unsubscribe from one “sale” email that keeps nudging impulse buys.

Remove one app tile from your phone’s home screen.

Cancel one recurring expense that does not buy back time or energy.

Schedule one reach-out to someone you barely know, also called a weak tie.

Set one default, such as a small automatic transfer on payday.

A quick gut check for your week

Ask this once a week. If I keep doing what I am doing with my money, health, and relationships, am I creating more or fewer options six months from now?

If the answer is fewer, pick one tiny subtraction to make this week.

A natural next step, if you want support

I have talked about Rudá Iandê before, and I am mentioning him again because the timing was right for me. Reading Laughing in the Face of Chaos: A Politically Incorrect Shamanic Guide for Modern Life last week helped me connect several dots in this article.

His insights encouraged me to stop fighting myself and to treat emotions as messengers rather than enemies when I am changing money and work habits.

If you are experimenting with the ideas above, that book may give you a language for what you already feel and a nudge to keep going.
One line that stayed with me is this: “You have both the right and responsibility to explore and try until you know yourself deeply.”

I copied it into my notes, then I used it as a prompt before a tough conversation about a rate increase. It reminded me that exploration is not indulgent. It is required if you want to move up.

If the ideas in this article spoke to you, consider grabbing Rudá Iandê’s book.

It is direct, modern, and it fits the kind of practical growth that actually changes your class trajectory.

Final note from me to you

I have made my share of mistakes, so I am right here with you.

I have chased shiny things and avoided hard conversations, and sometimes I still do.

But every time I subtract a little noise, one habit, one bill, or one excuse, I hear that quiet voice that says, “More is possible.”

Start there this week.

Pick one thing to avoid.

Give your future self a little more room to move.