Navigating relationships can be a tricky business, especially when you’re dealing with complex individuals.

You see, dealing with a difficult and complicated person isn’t always as straightforward as it seems. They often exhibit subtle behaviors that you might not immediately recognize.

Unraveling these behaviors is key to understanding them better. And being able to identify these signs can make all the difference in how you interact with them.

So, let’s delve into the eight subtle behaviors that difficult and complicated people often display, to give you a better perspective on how to deal with them.

1) A knack for confusion

Now, one of the first signs you might notice with a difficult and complicated person is their unique ability to sow seeds of confusion.

See, they have a way of complicating simple matters, making mountains out of molehills, so to speak. This is often not a conscious decision but rather an ingrained behavior pattern.

This knack for creating confusion can put you on the backfoot during discussions or decision-making processes. It’s like trying to navigate through a thick fog; you’re not quite sure where you’re going or what obstacles might pop up.

Recognizing this behavior is the first step to dealing with it. Once you understand that this is a typical pattern for them, you can learn to navigate these confusing situations with greater ease and less stress.

Remember, it’s not about changing them but understanding their behavior to handle interactions more effectively.

2) They avoid responsibility

Another behavior that can indicate you’re dealing with a difficult and complicated person is their tendency to shirk responsibility.

Let me share a personal example. I once had a co-worker, let’s call him Mark. Mark was brilliant, no doubt. But whenever something went wrong, he had an uncanny ability to sidestep responsibility.

If a project didn’t go as planned, he’d point out how he had expressed his concerns from the start or how it was due to factors outside his control. It was always someone else’s fault or the result of unforeseen circumstances.

This constant dodging of responsibility made working with Mark incredibly challenging. I found it hard to trust him because it felt like he would never own up to his mistakes.

Recognizing this behavior can help you set boundaries and manage expectations when dealing with such individuals. Accepting that they may not take responsibility allows you to prepare for it and handle situations more effectively.

3) They’re often unpredictable

Dealing with a difficult and complicated person can be like riding a roller coaster – there are highs, lows, and sudden, unpredictable twists and turns.

Interestingly, this erratic behavior aligns with a psychological concept called intermittent reinforcement. This concept explains that unpredictable rewards or punishments can create a stronger response than consistent ones.

In context, when a complicated person behaves unpredictably – sometimes being pleasant and other times being difficult – it creates a sense of uncertainty. You’re never quite sure what to expect. This unpredictability can make the person seem more complex and challenging to deal with.

Understanding this behavior can be a powerful tool in managing your interactions with them. It helps you to anticipate potential changes in their demeanor and respond effectively.

4) They struggle to empathize

You might find that a difficult and complicated person has a hard time understanding or sharing the feelings of others. Empathy is not their strongest suit.

This lack of empathy can manifest in various ways. They might dismiss others’ feelings, struggle to comfort someone in distress, or fail to acknowledge other people’s perspectives.

While this can make communication challenging, it’s important to understand that it’s often not a deliberate act of unkindness. It’s merely a characteristic that makes them who they are.

Recognizing this can help you adjust your expectations when interacting with them and equip you with the patience required to navigate these situations.

5) They crave control

Difficult and complicated people often have an intense need for control. It’s like a safety blanket, providing them with a sense of certainty in an uncertain world.

This desire for control can manifest in various ways – from wanting to have the last say in decisions to being particular about plans and schedules. They might come off as overly domineering or inflexible.

At its core, this behavior often stems from insecurity and fear – fear of the unknown, fear of feeling vulnerable, fear of losing their grip on the world around them.

Understanding this underlying fear can allow you to approach them with more empathy. You may not fully agree with their need for control, but understanding it can help you navigate interactions with more compassion and patience.

6) They resist change

Another behavior often exhibited by difficult and complicated individuals is their resistance to change. This resistance can be incredibly challenging, particularly when change is necessary or inevitable.

I remember when I had to move to a different city for work. My friend, who fits the mold of a complicated person, was vehemently opposed to the idea. She resisted the change, citing all sorts of reasons why it wouldn’t work out.

Her resistance wasn’t really about the move. It was more about her discomfort with the unknown, her fear of not being able to control what’s happening.

Identifying this resistance to change can help you approach such situations more effectively. By understanding their fear of change, you can communicate more empathetically and patiently, helping them gradually adapt to new circumstances.

7) They can be overly critical

Difficult and complicated people often have a tendency to be overly critical of both themselves and others. This critical nature can make them seem harsh or unapproachable.

They might nitpick at minor errors, constantly find fault, or set impossibly high standards. This behavior often stems from their own inner critic, which they project onto others.

While it can be tough to deal with their criticism, understanding where it’s coming from can help. Knowing that their criticism is more about them than about you can take the sting out of their words and make it easier for you to navigate your interactions with them.

8) Their emotions can be intense

The most crucial thing to understand about difficult and complicated individuals is that their emotions can be incredibly intense. They feel things deeply – both the good and the bad.

This intensity can manifest in sudden mood swings, heightened sensitivity, or passionate reactions. While it can be overwhelming, it’s important to remember that this is part of their complexity.

Approaching them with patience and understanding can help create a more harmonious interaction. Instead of trying to dampen their intensity, acknowledging their feelings can create a space for open dialogue and mutual respect.

Final thoughts: It’s about understanding, not changing

When it comes to dealing with a difficult and complicated person, understanding is the key. It’s not about trying to change them or mold them into something they’re not. Instead, it’s about recognizing these subtle behaviors and understanding what they mean.

Remember, every person has their unique set of complexities. These complexities, these behaviors, they’re all part of what makes them who they are.

As the famous saying by Ian Maclaren goes, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” This couldn’t be more true in the case of complicated individuals.

Understanding their behaviors gives us insight into their battles – the fear of change, the need for control, the intensity of emotions. And with that knowledge, we can approach them with greater empathy and patience.

Navigating relationships with difficult and complicated people is not an easy feat. But with understanding and patience, it becomes a journey of growth and learning for both parties involved.