Last week at the grocery store, I watched a woman carefully selecting avocados while her granddaughter chatted away beside her.

When the teenager mentioned she was turning 16, another shopper nearby gasped and said to the grandmother, “No way you’re old enough to have a teenage granddaughter!”

The woman smiled, thanked her, and moved on. But what struck me wasn’t the compliment itself – it was how she carried herself. At what I’d guess was well over 70, she moved with the kind of ease and energy I see in people decades younger.

I’ve been noticing this pattern for years now. Some people seem to defy the calendar, maintaining a vitality and appearance that makes you do a double-take when you learn their actual age. And after observing hundreds of these ageless wonders, both in my former HR career and in my current life as a writer, I’ve identified nine characteristics they almost always share.

The fascinating part? The most powerful trait isn’t what you’d expect. It’s not genetics or expensive skincare. It’s something psychologists now tell us can be developed at any age.

1. They move like they mean it

Every morning at 7 AM, I’m out walking my border terrier. Without fail, I pass the same 78-year-old neighbor doing what she calls her “power shuffle” – a brisk walk with hand weights. She started this routine at 70, after her doctor warned her about bone density.

The people who look decades younger aren’t necessarily marathon runners. They’re the ones who found movement they actually enjoy and stuck with it. When my knees started protesting my morning jogs at 58, I took up swimming. Now at 73, I move better than I did at 50.

Movement keeps your muscles engaged, your joints flexible, and your skin glowing from improved circulation. But more than that, it keeps you connected to your body in a way that radiates youth.

2. They prioritize sleep like their life depends on it

Here’s something that might surprise you: Psychology Today reports that “up to 48 percent of elderly adults suffer insomnia.” The other half? They’re the ones who look like they’ve discovered the fountain of youth.

The difference shows up in everything – the brightness of their eyes, the elasticity of their skin, even the way they laugh. Good sleepers have learned to treat bedtime as sacred. They have routines, boundaries, and they’re not afraid to leave a party early if it means getting their seven hours.

3. They’ve mastered the art of saying no

In my 50s, I read a book that fundamentally changed how I approached relationships. It taught me that people-pleasing was aging me faster than any birthday could. The constant stress of overcommitment, the resentment of always putting others first – it was written all over my face.

People who age gracefully have learned to protect their energy. They say no to obligations that drain them. They set boundaries without guilt. This isn’t selfishness; it’s self-preservation. And it shows in their relaxed shoulders, their genuine smiles, and their unhurried way of moving through the world.

4. They stay curious about everything

At 65, I walked into a community center yoga class, terrified I’d be the oldest person there trying to touch my toes. Eight years later, I haven’t missed a weekly session. That willingness to be a beginner again? It’s a hallmark of people who seem immune to aging.

They’re the ones taking pottery classes at 75, learning Italian at 80, or starting a blog about their garden. Their eyes light up when they talk about their latest discovery. Curiosity keeps the brain plastic and the spirit young.

5. They’ve ditched the toxic habits

Healthline puts it bluntly: “The toxins in cigarette smoke expose your skin to oxidative stress. This causes dryness, wrinkles, and other signs of premature aging.”

But it’s not just smoking. The people who look youngest have gradually eliminated the habits that age them – excessive alcohol, processed foods, chronic dehydration. They didn’t do it overnight. They made small, sustainable changes that added up over decades.

6. They laugh at themselves regularly

There’s something about people who can find humor in their own mishaps that keeps them young. They’re not taking themselves so seriously that every wrinkle becomes a tragedy. When I published my first essay at 69 and immediately spotted a typo, I could have been mortified. Instead, I laughed and wrote a follow-up piece about perfectionism in retirement.

This ability to find lightness, especially in our own imperfections, creates a kind of ease that’s visible on the face. Chronic seriousness ages us; laughter is genuinely therapeutic.

7. They maintain real connections

The youngest-looking seniors I know aren’t isolated. They have friends they meet for coffee, book clubs they never miss, grandchildren they video call weekly. Human connection isn’t just good for the soul – it’s visible on the skin.

Loneliness creates a stress response in the body that accelerates aging. But meaningful relationships, even just a few, provide a buffer against time’s effects.

8. They’ve found their purpose

Retirement doesn’t mean retreating. The people who seem to age in reverse have found something that gets them up in the morning with anticipation. For some, it’s volunteering. For others, it’s a creative pursuit they finally have time for.

When I started writing after retiring from HR, I discovered a passion I didn’t know existed. That sense of purpose, of still contributing something meaningful, changes how you carry yourself.

9. They feel younger than their chronological age

This is the big one – the characteristic that surprised me most when I learned it could be developed. David Ludden Ph.D. explains that “Subjective age is how old you feel.”

Most people assume you either feel young or you don’t – that it’s determined by your health, your genetics, your circumstances. But psychologists have discovered that subjective age is actually learned. It’s influenced by the stories we tell ourselves, the people we surround ourselves with, and the activities we choose.

People who look significantly younger have learned to feel younger. They don’t deny their chronological age, but they refuse to let it define their internal experience. They’ve consciously cultivated a younger subjective age through their choices, attitudes, and beliefs.

The bottom line

Looking younger after 70 isn’t about chasing youth or denying reality. It’s about engaging with life in ways that keep you vital. These nine characteristics aren’t exclusive to the genetically blessed – they’re choices available to all of us.

The most powerful one, that sense of feeling younger than your years, isn’t fixed at birth. It’s a mindset you can develop starting today, regardless of the number on your driver’s license. Because in the end, the people who look youngest aren’t trying to look young. They’re simply too busy living fully to act their age.