Emotional intelligence is more than just a buzzword.

It’s the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as those of others.

It’s a subtle art that some people have, often revealing itself in unusual ways.

Now, you might be wondering, how can I recognize these signs of high emotional intelligence?

Well, it’s not always as straightforward as you’d think.

Here’s a hint: it’s not always about being the most outgoing or expressive.

Sometimes, it’s the quirkiest behaviors that point to a high level of emotional intelligence.

In this article, I’m going to walk you through 9 unusual behaviors that could mean you or someone you know is emotionally intelligent. 

Let’s get started. 

1) They’re comfortable with silence

Silence can be uncomfortable for many of us.

We try to fill it with small talk or change the subject when things get too quiet. But not those with high emotional intelligence.

People with a high level of emotional intelligence are comfortable with silence.

They don’t see it as an awkward pause but rather a chance to reflect and understand.

They respect the power of silence, using it as a tool to foster deeper connections.

It might seem strange, but silence can be one of the most effective ways to communicate.

It demonstrates patience, allows others to express themselves, and can lead to better understanding and empathy.

When you find yourself in a silent situation, don’t rush to break it. Embrace it, reflect on it, and see what you learn from the experience.

You might be surprised by how much this unusual behavior can enhance your emotional intelligence.

2) They’re open about their emotions

Now, this is one behavior I’ve personally noticed in people with high emotional intelligence – they’re not afraid to be open about their emotions.

Take my friend Sarah, for example. She’s the kind of person who isn’t afraid to express how she’s feeling, whether she’s over the moon or down in the dumps. And it’s not just about sharing her emotions, it’s about understanding and managing them too.

One time, we were working on a project together and things weren’t going as planned. Instead of getting frustrated or trying to hide her disappointment, she openly shared how she was feeling. She said, “I’m really disappointed that our project isn’t going as well as we’d hoped. But let’s not get disheartened. We can learn from this and find a way to improve.”

Her ability to openly express and manage her emotions had a calming effect on the entire team. It encouraged us all to share our feelings and work together to find a solution.

Being open about your emotions might seem unusual to some, but it’s a clear sign of emotional intelligence.

So, don’t shy away from expressing how you feel – it could make you more emotionally intelligent than you realize!

3) They’re great listeners

People with high emotional intelligence are often excellent listeners. They don’t just hear the words you’re saying; they understand and absorb them, giving their full attention to the speaker.

Listening is an art that requires more than just hearing words. It requires understanding, empathy, and validation.

Historically, many successful leaders have been great listeners. For instance, Winston Churchill, the former British Prime Minister, was known for his ability to listen carefully before making decisions. He understood the power of listening and used it as a tool to better understand situations and people.

If you find yourself truly listening to others around you – absorbing their words, understanding their feelings, and validating their experiences, congratulations! You might just have a higher level of emotional intelligence than you thought.

4) They aren’t afraid of change

Change is a part of life. Whether it’s small changes like trying a new coffee shop or bigger ones like moving to a new city, we all encounter change in our lives. But how we deal with it can say a lot about our emotional intelligence.

Those with high emotional intelligence tend to be more adaptable. They embrace change, seeing it as an opportunity for growth and learning, rather than something to be feared or resisted. They understand that change is inevitable and adapt their actions and emotions accordingly.

For instance, if their favorite coffee shop closes down, they view it as an opportunity to discover a new place, rather than dwelling on the loss. Or if they’re starting a new job, they focus on the exciting challenges ahead rather than worrying about leaving the old one behind.

If you’re someone who embraces change with open arms, this could be a clear sign of your high emotional intelligence. It shows you’re adaptable, open-minded and ready to grow – all key traits of emotionally intelligent people.

5) They’re self-aware

Being self-aware is a hallmark of emotional intelligence. It means understanding your own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and how your actions affect others.

People with high emotional intelligence are constantly reflecting on their own emotions and behavior. They’re able to recognize when they’re feeling stressed, frustrated, or overjoyed, and they understand why. This self-awareness helps them manage their emotions and respond to situations effectively.

For example, if they notice they’re feeling particularly irritable one day, they’ll take steps to manage this emotion rather than letting it affect their interactions with others. They might take a few minutes to meditate, go for a walk, or do something else that helps them relax.

If you often find yourself recognizing and understanding your feelings and how they impact your behavior, you’re likely demonstrating a high level of emotional intelligence. It’s a skill that requires practice, but it’s a sure sign of emotional savvy.

6) They have a strong moral compass

One of the most profound signs of high emotional intelligence is possessing a strong moral compass. These individuals often have a clear understanding of right from wrong, and they let these principles guide their actions and decisions.

For instance, imagine you witness a situation where someone is being treated unfairly. People with high emotional intelligence wouldn’t just stand by. They’d feel compelled to step in, driven by their deep sense of justice and empathy for others.

They understand that our actions affect others and that each decision we make can have a wider impact. That’s why they’re careful to act in ways that are not just beneficial to them, but also to those around them.

If this is you, then your emotional intelligence is likely quite high. It shows your heart is in the right place, and that’s something truly special.

7) They’re not easily offended

This one hits close to home for me. I used to be quite sensitive and would often take things personally. Over time, I realized that this was more about my own insecurities than the intentions of others.

People with high emotional intelligence have this figured out. They don’t let negative comments or criticism get to them easily. They understand that everyone has their own opinions and perspectives, which might not necessarily align with theirs.

They are secure in who they are and don’t let external factors shake their self-confidence. Instead, they view criticism as an opportunity for growth and improvement. They listen to it, consider it, and if it’s valid, they take steps to improve.

8) They appreciate what they have

Gratitude is a powerful thing. It’s the ability to recognize and appreciate the good in life, even when things are difficult. People with high emotional intelligence often possess this trait.

They don’t spend all their time wishing for what they don’t have. Instead, they focus on what they do have and appreciate it. They understand that while it’s okay to strive for more, it’s also important to be content with what we already have.

For instance, they might not have the biggest house or the fastest car, but they appreciate the roof over their heads and a vehicle that gets them where they need to go.

If you find yourself frequently expressing gratitude and appreciating the good in your life, you’re likely exhibiting high emotional intelligence.

It shows a positive outlook and a profound understanding of the importance of appreciation in overall happiness.

9) They know the value of relationships

At the end of the day, people with high emotional intelligence understand the immense value of relationships. They know that deep, meaningful connections with others are one of the most important aspects of life.

They invest time and energy into nurturing these relationships, whether they’re with family, friends, or colleagues. They’re there for others during their times of need, they celebrate others’ successes, and they’re not afraid to open up and be vulnerable.

Above all, they understand that it’s these connections with others that bring us joy, provide support, and give life its deepest meaning.

So if you prioritize your relationships and understand their significance in your life, you’re likely demonstrating a high level of emotional intelligence. It’s a sign that you understand what truly matters in life.

Final thought: The power of emotional intelligence

At the heart of it all, emotional intelligence is about understanding and managing our own emotions, and empathizing with the emotions of others. It’s what allows us to navigate social complexities, build stronger relationships, and lead more fulfilling lives.

American psychologist Daniel Goleman, an authority on emotional intelligence, once said, “In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.” These two fundamentally different ways of knowing interact to construct our mental life. And it’s this balance of the rational and the emotional that lies at the core of emotional intelligence.

The unusual behaviors we’ve discussed – from being comfortable with silence, to being self-aware, to valuing relationships – all hint at this deeper understanding and balance.

So next time you find yourself in a moment of silence, or expressing your emotions openly, or simply appreciating what you have, take a moment to reflect. You might just realize that these moments are not only unusual behaviors but signs of your high emotional intelligence.

And in understanding this, you open up a world of potential for deeper connections, improved self-management, and a greater sense of contentment in life. Embrace it, because the power of emotional intelligence is indeed a remarkable thing.