9 things you don’t realize you’re doing that make people respect you less

There’s a subtle line between being respected and being overlooked.
Sometimes, we unknowingly cross this line in our interactions with others, not realizing that we’re actually diminishing the respect they have for us.
You may be surprised to learn that some of your habits or actions could be causing this.
And trust me, it’s not always the big things. More often than not, it’s the little things we do (or don’t do) that can make a difference.
Let’s get started.
1) Over-explaining your choices
We’ve all been there. You’re in a conversation, and suddenly you find yourself explaining your decisions or actions in far more detail than necessary.
It’s a common habit, and most of us don’t even realize we’re doing it. But here’s the thing: it can actually make people respect you less.
Why? Because over-explaining can come off as if you’re seeking validation or approval. It also suggests a lack of confidence in your decisions.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices unless it directly impacts them. Stand by your decisions with conviction and let them speak for themselves.
This doesn’t mean you should be dismissive or refuse to engage in constructive dialogue. It’s about finding that balance between being open for discussion and not feeling the need to justify every single decision you make.
When you catch yourself over-explaining, take a step back, breathe and remember: your choices are valid, and you don’t need to justify them to everyone.
2) Not respecting personal boundaries
This one hits close to home for me. I used to think that being open and friendly meant sharing every detail of my life and expecting the same from others. I didn’t realize then that there’s a fine line between being open and overstepping personal boundaries.
Let me paint a picture. A few years back, I would ask my colleagues about their weekends, their family, or their personal life without thinking twice about it. In my mind, I was just being friendly and showing interest.
But then, one day, a colleague of mine gently pulled me aside and explained how my questions, though well-intentioned, were a bit intrusive. They were making some people uncomfortable.
It was an eye-opening moment for me. I realized that while it’s great to be friendly and interested in others’ lives, it’s equally important to respect personal boundaries.
So now, I’m more conscious about this. I’ve learned that everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to sharing personal information. And respecting those boundaries is crucial in maintaining mutual respect.
Respecting someone’s privacy doesn’t mean you’re being distant or uninterested.
It simply means you’re acknowledging and honouring their individual boundaries.
3) Constantly interrupting others
In a study by the University of California, it was found that an average person can only go 23 minutes without interruption. And once interrupted, it takes about 25 minutes to return to the original task.
This translates into our conversations too. When we constantly interrupt others, we’re essentially saying that our thoughts or opinions are more important than theirs. It’s a habit that can easily chip away at the respect others have for us.
Interrupting doesn’t just disrupt the flow of conversation, it also sends a message of disrespect. It suggests that you’re not truly listening or valuing what the other person has to say.
When you’re in a conversation, make a conscious effort to listen more and interrupt less. You’ll be surprised at how much more you learn and how much respect you gain in return.
4) Being late all the time
We all run late sometimes. Traffic jams happen, alarms don’t go off, last-minute emergencies pop up – life is unpredictable. But when being late becomes a habit, it can start to erode the respect people have for you.
Consistently showing up late sends a clear message: that your time is more important than others’. It’s disrespectful and can leave others feeling undervalued.
Remember, everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, and when people choose to dedicate some of their time to you, the least you can do is respect that commitment.
Make an effort to be punctual. Not only will it show respect for other people’s time, but it’ll also help in building a reputation of reliability and professionalism.
5) Not keeping your word
Trust is a key component of respect. And nothing breaks trust faster than not keeping your word.
Whether it’s a major commitment or a minor promise, when you say you’re going to do something, people expect you to follow through. If you consistently fail to meet these expectations, it’s likely that people will start to respect you less.
Here’s the deal: life is unpredictable and sometimes, despite our best intentions, we can’t keep our promises. But in such cases, it’s crucial to communicate and explain the situation.
However, if cancelling plans or failing to fulfill promises becomes a pattern, people may start to question your reliability. So, strive to keep your word. Show people that they can count on you.
Respect is earned through consistent actions over time. Keep your word, and you’ll keep their respect.
6) Neglecting to show gratitude
In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to overlook the power of a simple ‘thank you’. But gratitude, my friends, is more than just good manners. It’s a reflection of your character and the respect you have for others.
When someone does something for you, no matter how small, it’s an act of kindness that deserves recognition. By neglecting to express gratitude, you’re not only taking their efforts for granted, but also risking a dent in their respect for you.
Show appreciation when it’s due. A heartfelt ‘thank you’ can go a long way in showing respect for others and their efforts. It’s a small gesture that can have a huge impact.
Gratitude is not just about acknowledging someone’s kindness. It’s also about showing them that they are valued and respected. So, don’t forget to say ‘thank you’. Your words could make someone’s day and elevate their respect for you.
7) Being overly critical of others
I used to be a perfectionist. I had high standards for everything, including the people around me. I thought my critical eye was simply a reflection of those high standards. What I didn’t realize was how this constant criticism was impacting the respect others had for me.
People make mistakes, and while constructive criticism is necessary for growth, being overly critical can be damaging. It creates a negative environment and can make people feel unappreciated or incapable.
I learned this the hard way. It took losing a close friend and some serious self-reflection for me to realize that my constant criticism was not helpful, but hurtful.
Now, I try to approach mistakes or shortcomings with understanding and patience. I’ve learned to balance my desire for high standards with empathy and kindness.
Nobody’s perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Choosing to focus on strengths and address weaknesses in a supportive way can go a long way in maintaining respect in your relationships.
8) Always needing to be right
We all like to be right. It’s a natural human instinct. But when this need overpowers our ability to listen, understand, or accept differing opinions, it can lead to a loss of respect from others.
Insisting on always being right can come off as arrogant and close-minded. It can make others feel unheard and undervalued. It’s important to remember that true respect comes from acknowledging and appreciating differing viewpoints, even when they conflict with our own.
Next time you find yourself in a disagreement, take a moment to truly listen to what the other person is saying. It’s okay to stand your ground, but it’s equally important to be open to the possibility that you might be wrong.
It’s not about winning an argument, it’s about growing through understanding and respect. Being able to accept when you’re wrong is a sign of strength, not weakness, and it’s a trait that people deeply respect.
9) Not treating others with kindness
At the end of the day, respect is rooted in kindness. No matter what qualifications you have, how successful you are, or how much money you make, if you’re not kind to others, you won’t be respected.
Kindness is about treating others as you’d like to be treated. It’s about showing empathy, understanding and respect in all interactions, regardless of who the person is or what their role is in your life.
Exhibiting kindness doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone or be a pushover. It’s about being respectful and considerate in how you handle disagreements or differences.
So, above all else, be kind. It’s the most valuable currency when it comes to earning respect.
Final thought: It’s all about respect
The essence of our relationships and interactions often boils down to one fundamental principle: respect.
American author and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar, once said, “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” This sentiment holds true for earning respect.
Acknowledging and rectifying the small actions that chip away at people’s respect for us isn’t just about improving how others perceive us. It’s about becoming better versions of ourselves.
Whether it’s being punctual, keeping our word, or simply showing kindness, these small changes can have a profound impact on our relationships and how we are perceived.
So let’s start today. Let’s strive to be more aware of our actions and their impact on others. Let’s begin the journey towards not just gaining, but also maintaining the respect of those around us.
Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And in the quest for respect, each step counts.
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