Sometimes we’re our own worst critics. The way we perceive ourselves can significantly affect our actions, even when we don’t realize it. If you’ve been feeling down and behaving differently, you may be struggling with low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem isn’t just about feeling bad about yourself. It’s a deep-seated issue that can cause you to act in ways you wouldn’t ordinarily. It’s subtle, creeping into your behavior and affecting your choices.

What’s tricky is that sometimes, you may not even realize it’s happening. 

So, I’ve compiled a list of 9 things you’re doing that may be indicating your low self-esteem.

As we go through this together, remember, recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards overcoming them.

1) You’re constantly comparing yourself to others

We all do it. We look at our friends, colleagues, even strangers on the street and compare ourselves. And often, not in a positive way.

This isn’t just about envying someone’s new car or their promotion at work. It cuts deeper. You find yourself comparing your abilities, your looks, your very worth to others.

The problem is when you’re constantly measuring yourself against others, you’re setting yourself up for a fall. Because there will always be someone smarter, prettier, or more successful.

Unfortunately, this constant comparison is a telltale sign of low self-esteem. It’s a way of validating the negative belief you may hold about yourself.

But here’s the thing – everyone has their own unique journey. Comparing yours to others’ won’t help you move forward.

Instead, focus on your own growth and celebrate your victories, no matter how small they may seem.

2) You’re always downplaying your achievements

I remember when I landed my first big job. I’d worked incredibly hard for it, but when friends and family congratulated me, I brushed it off. “Oh, it’s not a big deal. They probably couldn’t find anyone else,” I’d say.

Sound familiar? If you’re constantly downplaying your successes and attributing them to luck or external factors rather than your own efforts, you might be dealing with low self-esteem.

This mindset can rob you of the joy and satisfaction that comes from recognizing your accomplishments.

It’s okay to be proud of what you’ve achieved. Giving yourself credit doesn’t make you arrogant or self-involved – it’s a crucial part of building a healthy self-esteem.

3) You’re overly sensitive to criticism

Criticism, constructive or not, is a tough pill to swallow. However, if you find it particularly devastating, it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

Research suggests that people with low self-esteem are more likely to react defensively to negative feedback. This is because criticism can reinforce those deep-seated feelings of inadequacy they already struggle with.

But let’s be real, nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes and criticism is an integral part of learning and growing.

Try to view feedback as a chance to improve, rather than a personal attack.

It’s a skill that takes practice, but can significantly improve your self-esteem over time.

4) You’re a people-pleaser

Are you constantly going out of your way to make others happy, often at the expense of your own needs and desires? This could be another sign of low self-esteem.

When you don’t value yourself, it’s easy to prioritize others’ needs over your own. You may fear that saying ‘no’ will make you less likable or cause conflict.

But here’s the truth: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary.

Learning to set boundaries and make time for your own needs is a crucial step towards building a healthier self-esteem.

5) You shy away from risks

Do you find yourself gravitating towards the ‘safe’ option, even when there’s a potential for great reward? This tendency to avoid risks is another common trait among those with low self-esteem.

You may fear failure or rejection so intensely that it paralyzes you. This fear can hold you back from pursuing opportunities and experiences that could lead to personal growth and happiness.

Taking calculated risks is a part of life and growth. Believe in your abilities to handle whatever outcomes may come your way. You may just surprise yourself.

6) You struggle to accept compliments

Has someone ever complimented you, and instead of saying a simple ‘thank you’, you immediately deflect or downplay it? This struggle to accept compliments graciously is often indicative of low self-esteem.

It’s more than just being modest. It’s a reflection of how you see yourself. When you don’t believe you’re worthy of praise, compliments can feel uncomfortable, even suspicious.

But here’s the thing – people generally mean what they say. So the next time someone compliments you, try to resist the urge to dismiss it.

Instead, take a moment, let it sink in, and simply say ‘thank you’. It might feel awkward at first, but with practice, it can become a small step towards bolstering your self-esteem.

7) You’re overly self-conscious

I used to walk into a room and feel like all eyes were on me – and not in a good way. I’d imagine people judging me, and it made me extremely uncomfortable.

This hyper-awareness of oneself in relation to others is often a sign of low self-esteem. You might constantly worry about how you’re perceived, believing others are as critical of you as you are of yourself.

But here’s a liberating truth: Most people are too caught up in their own lives to scrutinize yours.

When you enter a room, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you deserve to be there just as much as anyone else.

8) You avoid eye contact

Eye contact can feel incredibly uncomfortable when you’re wrestling with low self-esteem. It can feel like an invitation for others to see the insecurities you’re trying to hide.

Avoiding eye contact, however, can limit your ability to connect with others and may even be perceived as disinterest or rudeness.

It’s a small thing, but practicing maintaining eye contact during conversations can help boost your confidence over time.

Remember, you’re worth being seen and heard.

9) You’re constantly self-critical

The most prevalent sign of low self-esteem is a harsh, persistent inner critic. If you’re constantly berating yourself, doubting your abilities, and focusing on your flaws, you’re engaging in self-criticism.

This negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging. It reinforces your low self-esteem and keeps you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and fear.

But here’s the most important thing: You don’t have to believe everything you tell yourself.

Changing the narrative inside your head is challenging, but it’s possible.

And it’s the first step towards building a healthier, more positive self-esteem.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-love

Unraveling the complexities of human behavior and emotions often leads us down a path of introspection and self-discovery.

A critical part of this journey is understanding the concept of self-love. It’s not just about positive affirmations or treating yourself to a spa day. It runs much deeper.

At its core, self-love is about cultivating a kind, understanding relationship with yourself. It’s about recognizing your worth and treating yourself with the same compassion you extend to others.

If you identify with any of the behaviors listed above, remember this: You are not alone. And more importantly, you are not defined by your low self-esteem.

Change is possible, and it starts with small steps. Each moment presents a fresh opportunity to silence that internal critic and show yourself love and understanding.

Because at the end of the day, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life. So make it a good one.