9 things emotionally intelligent couples do differently to others
Emotionally intelligent couples often approach their relationships differently.
It’s not about grand gestures or fairytale romance, but it comes down to understanding and communication.
Being emotionally intelligent means being aware of your own emotions and those of others. That’s a powerful tool in a relationship.
Emotionally intelligent couples have certain habits that set them apart. They embrace these habits to cultivate deeper connections and healthier relationships.
In this article, I’m going to share with you nine things that emotionally intelligent couples do differently. These insights could transform your relationship too. Let’s dive right in!
1) They communicate openly and honestly
In any relationship, communication is key. But emotionally intelligent couples take it a step further.
They don’t just talk about their day or discuss their plans for the weekend. They communicate about their feelings, their fears, their dreams, and their desires.
This open and honest communication allows them to understand each other on a deeper level. It’s not always easy and it requires a level of vulnerability, but it’s essential for a strong and healthy relationship.
Emotionally intelligent couples know when to speak, when to listen, and how to communicate effectively without hurting each other. They are honest but respectful, they are open but sensitive.
Remember, it’s not about winning an argument or proving a point, but understanding each other’s perspectives and finding common ground.
So if you want your relationship to thrive like an emotionally intelligent couple, start by enhancing your communication skills. It could be as simple as discussing how your day was or as complex as expressing your deepest fears or desires.
And remember, honesty is the best policy in every relationship.
2) They express appreciation
It’s a simple thing, expressing appreciation. But it can make a world of difference in any relationship.
For emotionally intelligent couples, it’s a daily habit. They don’t just take each other for granted. They show gratitude for the big things, yes, but also for the little things that often go unnoticed.
Let me share a personal example.
My partner and I have been together for quite some time. And with time, it’s easy to slip into a routine and forget to appreciate the small things. But we’ve made it a point to not let that happen.
Every day, we make sure to thank each other for the things we do – no matter how small. Whether it’s making breakfast, doing the dishes, or simply being there for each other after a hard day – we express our gratitude.
And it’s not just about saying “thank you”. It’s about acknowledging the effort and love behind these actions.
This habit of ours has significantly strengthened our bond and deepened our respect for each other. It’s a practice I sincerely recommend every couple to embrace.
Because in love, no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
3) They practice empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s putting yourself in their shoes and seeing the world from their perspective.
Emotionally intelligent couples excel at this. They don’t just sympathize, they empathize. They feel each other’s joy, pain, excitement, and sorrow as if it were their own.
This emotional connection allows them to support each other more effectively. It helps them to be more patient, kind, and understanding.
Interestingly, a study from the University of California found that couples who showed high levels of empathy towards each other reported higher levels of relationship satisfaction. This goes to show that empathy isn’t just a nice-to-have quality – it’s a critical component of a happy and fulfilling relationship.
So, if you want to enhance your relationship, try to see things from your partner’s perspective. Feel with them, not just for them. Because at the end of the day, love is about understanding each other deeply and profoundly.
4) They handle conflict healthily
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. But it’s how you handle it that counts.
Emotionally intelligent couples don’t shy away from conflict. Instead, they face it head-on. They view it as an opportunity to learn, grow and strengthen their relationship.
They don’t let their emotions get the best of them. Instead, they practice patience, understanding, and respect, even when things get heated.
They don’t attack each other personally. Instead, they focus on the issue at hand. They express their feelings and thoughts without blaming or criticizing.
And most importantly, they listen. They listen to understand, not just to respond.
By handling conflict in a healthy and constructive manner, emotionally intelligent couples are able to resolve issues effectively while maintaining their love and respect for each other. It’s not about who’s right or wrong, but about finding a solution that works for both parties.
5) They nurture their emotional connection
Emotionally intelligent couples understand that maintaining an emotional connection is crucial in a relationship.
They don’t just coexist or simply share a living space. They share their lives, their experiences, and their emotions. They take time to connect on a deep emotional level regularly.
This could be through shared activities that they both enjoy, meaningful conversations, or simply spending quality time together.
They make sure to keep their emotional connection alive, continually nourishing it with love, empathy, and shared experiences.
This strong emotional bond helps them to weather the storms of life together, keeping their relationship strong and resilient in the face of challenges.
Because at the end of the day, it’s the emotional connection that makes a relationship truly fulfilling and meaningful.
6) They forgive and let go
In every relationship, there are bound to be mistakes, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. But emotionally intelligent couples know the power of forgiveness.
They understand that holding onto grudges or resentment only harms them and their relationship. They choose to forgive, not because the other person deserves forgiveness, but because they deserve peace.
Forgiveness for them doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the mistake. It means acknowledging it, learning from it, and then letting it go.
This ability to forgive and let go keeps their relationship free from the poison of resentment and bitterness. It allows them to move forward, to heal, and to grow together.
Because in love, forgiveness is the key to a happy, healthy, and lasting relationship. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
7) They prioritize self-care
Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. And emotionally intelligent couples understand the importance of this.
They know that to love another, they must first love and take care of themselves. They give themselves permission to take a break, to rest, and to recharge.
I’ve learned this the hard way – burning myself out trying to be everything for everyone, putting others’ needs before my own. But over time, I found that I couldn’t pour from an empty cup.
So now, I make sure to prioritize self-care. I take time for myself. I do things that make me happy. And importantly, I’ve learned to say no when I need to.
And guess what? This hasn’t made me selfish or less caring towards my partner. On the contrary, it’s made me a better partner. Because now, I bring the best version of myself to the relationship.
So remember, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential. And it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes.
8) They set healthy boundaries
Setting boundaries in a relationship might seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t love about sharing everything and merging your lives together?
Well, yes and no. While sharing is an important part of a relationship, so is maintaining your individuality. And that’s where boundaries come in.
Emotionally intelligent couples understand the importance of setting healthy boundaries. They know that it’s not about keeping each other out, but preserving their own personal space and peace.
Healthy boundaries could be about respecting each other’s alone time, not intruding on personal space, or not discussing certain sensitive topics. It varies from couple to couple.
By setting these boundaries, they ensure a balance between their personal needs and their relationship needs. They create a safe space where both partners can thrive, both as individuals and as a couple.
And that’s the beauty of healthy boundaries – they don’t restrict love, they enhance it.
9) They practice love daily
Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a practice. It’s something you choose to do every day.
Emotionally intelligent couples understand this. They don’t just say “I love you”, they show it. Through their actions, their words, their respect, and their support.
They know that love is more than grand gestures or special occasions. It’s in the small, everyday things – a warm smile, a gentle touch, a kind word.
So if there’s one thing to take away from all this, it’s this: Practice love daily. Not just towards your partner, but towards everyone around you.
Because at the end of the day, love is what truly matters.
Final thoughts: It’s about growth
The journey of love and relationships is one that’s deeply personal and unique to each couple. Yet, there are certain practices that emotionally intelligent couples seem to embrace that makes their bond stronger and more fulfilling.
These practices are not about perfection but growth. Growth as individuals and growth as a couple. It’s about understanding, empathy, communication, self-care, and most importantly, love.
As psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This acceptance and desire for growth are what emotionally intelligent couples embody.
So as we navigate our own relationships, let’s remember to strive for emotional intelligence. Let’s embrace these practices not just in our romantic relationships, but in all our interactions.
Because at the end of the day, it’s these practices that enhance not only our relationships but our lives as well.