There’s a fine line between love and control, especially when it comes to a narcissist.

Narcissists have a knack for making you feel like you need them, turning their attention into your emotional lifeline. They’ll make you believe they are indispensable, all while skillfully weaving their control over your emotions.

The very characteristic of narcissism is manipulation, but the way they go about it can often be subtle and hard to recognize.

In this article, I’m going to share with you 9 tactics that a narcissist uses to make you emotionally dependent on them.

1) Gaslighting

There’s a certain psychological manipulation tactic that narcissists often employ, known as gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that causes you to question your own feelings, instincts, and sanity. It’s the narcissist’s way of rewriting history and making you doubt your own experiences.

For instance, they might dismiss your feelings or accuse you of being overly sensitive when you react to their behavior. They may also deny or distort events that have actually occurred, leading you to question your own perception.

It’s a powerful tactic that can leave you feeling confused and dependent on the narcissist for “reality.” This is one of the ways they keep you tethered to them emotionally.

2) Emotional blackmail

Ah, emotional blackmail. It’s a term I wasn’t familiar with until I had to deal with it firsthand.

You see, I once had a friend who was an expert at this. Emotional blackmail is when a narcissist uses your feelings against you in order to get their way. They might make you feel guilty or ashamed for not acquiescing to their wants and needs.

My friend would often use phrases like, “If you really cared about me, you would…” or “I thought you were my friend, but I guess not if you can’t do this for me.” His words always left me feeling obligated to comply, even when it was inconvenient or against my better judgment.

This is a classic narcissistic tactic to make you emotionally dependent on them. They play on your good nature and use your empathy as a weapon against you.

3) Love bombing

Love bombing is a common tactic employed by narcissists. It involves an excessive display of attention and affection towards you, making you feel incredibly special and loved.

But here’s the catch. Love bombing is not genuinely about love or affection, but rather a calculated attempt to influence. It’s a coercive strategy used to control and manipulate by creating an intense emotional bond.

The narcissist might shower you with compliments, gifts, and declarations of undying love, only to withdraw them as soon as you don’t act in accordance with their wishes.

Remember, genuine love doesn’t come with strings attached. Don’t be fooled by a narcissist’s love bombing – it’s not about love, but control.

4) Isolation from friends and family

A narcissist will often try to cut you off from your support networks. They may sow seeds of doubt about your friends and family, making you question their intentions or loyalty.

The goal? To make you feel like they’re the only one who truly understands or cares for you. By shrinking your world to include just them, they create an unhealthy dependency.

This isolation can be subtle. They might express jealousy when you spend time with others or subtly criticize your loved ones until you start to see them in a negative light.

It’s essential to maintain your relationships and not allow a narcissist to sever these important ties. Your loved ones can provide perspective, support, and a vital lifeline when dealing with a narcissist’s manipulations.

5) The silent treatment

Ah, the silent treatment. It’s a form of emotional manipulation that narcissists use to punish you or control the situation.

When a narcissist gives you the silent treatment, they’re effectively shutting down communication to make you feel anxious, guilty, or to push you into submission.

You might find yourself desperately trying to make amends, even when you’re not in the wrong, just to end this uncomfortable silence.

Remember, healthy relationships rely on open and respectful communication. The silent treatment is a way for a narcissist to exert power and control. Stand your ground and don’t let their silence manipulate you.

6) Constant criticism

Dealing with a narcissist often feels like walking on eggshells. Their constant criticism can chip away at your self-esteem, leaving you feeling insecure and emotionally dependent on their approval.

They might belittle your achievements, criticize your appearance, or make you feel inadequate in other ways. This incessant negativity can be exhausting and disheartening.

Remember, nobody has the right to undermine your self-worth. You are enough just as you are, and you don’t need a narcissist’s validation to prove that.

Stand strong in the face of their criticism and remember to value yourself.

7) The cycle of abuse

The relationship with a narcissist can often feel like a never-ending roller coaster ride, filled with highs and lows.

There are moments of intense love and affection, followed by periods of cold indifference or outright hostility. This is known as the cycle of abuse, and it’s disorienting to say the least.

I remember feeling trapped in this cycle, constantly hoping for the return of the loving, charming person I thought I knew, only to be met with indifference or cruelty once again.

The key is to recognize this cycle for what it is – a manipulation tactic designed to keep you off-balance and emotionally dependent. Once you see the pattern, you can start taking steps to break free.

8) Control over your life

A narcissist will often try to exert control over various aspects of your life. This could be anything from how you spend your time, to who you interact with, even down to what you wear.

Their need for control is a way to maintain power in the relationship. It can feel suffocating, as though you’re losing your autonomy and becoming an extension of the narcissist.

Remember, you have the right to make your own choices and live your life on your own terms. Don’t allow a narcissist’s controlling behavior to dictate your life.

Stand up for yourself and reclaim your independence.

9) Playing the victim

One of the most potent tactics a narcissist uses is playing the victim. They have an uncanny ability to twist situations, making you feel like the bad guy while they’re the innocent party.

This can make you feel guilty, question your actions, and even apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s their way of avoiding responsibility and keeping you emotionally entangled.

But here’s what you need to know: You’re not responsible for a narcissist’s feelings or their well-being.

Don’t let their victim-playing manipulate your emotions. Stand firm in your understanding of the situation and don’t be swayed by their false narratives.

Empowerment in understanding

The complexities of human behavior, particularly when it comes to narcissism, can be unsettling. Especially when you find yourself being emotionally manipulated by a narcissist.

However, there’s strength in understanding these tactics. Recognizing them is the first step towards breaking free from the emotional dependency a narcissist strives to create.

Remember, you have the right to your emotions, your perceptions, your space, and your life. You are not an extension of someone else’s whims or desires.

Knowledge is power. And in this case, it’s the key to reclaiming your emotional independence.