Recognizing when someone is pulling away from you can be difficult. It’s not always straightforward and often involves subtle shifts in behavior.

Understanding these signs, according to psychology, can help you navigate the complexities of your relationships.

In fact, there are nine key signs to look for when someone is distancing themselves from you.

Here’s a close look at these nine signs and what they might mean for your relationship. Let’s dive into the often murky world of interpersonal connections and find out how to recognize when someone is trying to create some space.

1) Communication changes

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship, and changes in how someone communicates with you can be a clear sign they’re pulling away.

Psychologists highlight that when someone starts to distance themselves, they often communicate less frequently. Their responses may become shorter, less engaging or even non-existent.

It’s important to note that everyone has off days and busy periods, so a single instance of this doesn’t necessarily mean they’re distancing themselves. But if the pattern persists, it may be a sign.

This change can be subtle and gradual, making it easy to miss if you’re not paying attention. So keep an eye on any noticeable shifts in the way they communicate with you. This could be one of the first signs that something is changing in your relationship.

2) Less enthusiasm

Another sign someone is distancing themselves is a noticeable drop in their enthusiasm towards you. They may seem less excited to see or hear from you, or they might seem uninterested in the things you say or do together.

Let me share a personal example. I had a friend, let’s call her Lisa. We used to chat about everything under the sun, and she used to be genuinely enthusiastic about our shared interests. But over time, I noticed a change.

She stopped laughing at my jokes as much, and our conversations became more one-sided. She didn’t seem as interested in our usual hangouts or hobbies. At first, I thought she was just going through a rough patch, but as time went on, it became clear that she was distancing herself from me.

It was hard to accept, but recognizing this sign helped me address the issue directly and understand what was happening in our friendship. It’s not always easy to spot, but a lack of enthusiasm can be a telling sign that someone is creating distance.

3) Non-verbal cues

Non-verbal cues are a big part of how we communicate. According to psychology, up to 55% of our communication is non-verbal. This includes body language, facial expressions, and the tone and pitch of our voice.

When someone is distancing themselves, these non-verbal cues often change. They may avoid eye contact, cross their arms more often when talking to you, or their voice might lack its usual warmth.

It’s not always easy to interpret these signs, as they can be influenced by a variety of factors. However, if you notice consistent changes in their non-verbal behavior when interacting with you, it could be a sign that they’re trying to distance themselves.

4) Avoiding personal topics

When people are close, they usually share personal stories, thoughts, and feelings. If someone starts avoiding these deeper conversations with you, it could be a sign that they’re distancing themselves.

Instead of discussing personal matters, they might steer the conversation towards more general topics or divert it completely. This can be their way of creating emotional distance and limiting their vulnerability.

Remember, everyone has moments when they’re less open to discussing personal matters. But if it becomes a consistent pattern, it might be time to consider whether they’re trying to create some distance.

5) They’re always busy

When someone consistently tells you they’re too busy to spend time with you, it might be more than just a packed schedule. It could be a sign they’re distancing themselves.

Of course, people get genuinely busy at times. But if their ‘busy’ phase seems to stretch on indefinitely and they don’t make an effort to reschedule or find time for you, it might be a signal that they’re creating space.

It’s important to not jump to conclusions with this sign, but if it’s combined with other signs on this list, it might be time to have a conversation about the state of your relationship.

6) Less physical contact

Sometimes, the signs of someone distancing themselves can be felt…literally. Physical contact, be it a hug, a pat on the back, or even a high-five, is an expression of closeness and comfort between people.

When these gestures start to lessen or disappear altogether, it can feel like a cold wind blowing through your relationship. The once warm and comforting touches are replaced with a noticeable chill of absence.

This lack of physical contact can be especially hurtful because it’s such a tangible sign of distance. It’s important to remember that everyone has their own comfort levels with touch, but if you notice a stark decrease in physical contact from someone who was once comfortable with it, it might be a sign that they’re distancing themselves from you.

7) They’re not there in your time of need

One of the most telling signs someone is distancing themselves is when they’re not there for you during tough times.

I remember a time when I was going through a rough patch. I was dealing with a personal loss and needed a shoulder to lean on. A friend, who had always been there for me, was suddenly unavailable. It wasn’t just once, but consistently throughout this challenging period.

This absence during a time of need was a clear sign that something had changed in our relationship. It’s during these times that we often see the true colors of those around us. If someone who used to be there for you is suddenly absent during your difficult times, it could be a sign that they’re distancing themselves.

8) They’re overly critical

Another sign that someone may be distancing themselves from you is an increase in criticism. If they’re often pointing out your flaws or constantly criticizing your actions, it might be their way of pushing you away.

This criticism can be about anything – your appearance, your habits, or even your personality. While constructive criticism can be a sign of care and concern, excessive and harsh criticism is often a defense mechanism used by those trying to create distance.

It’s important to differentiate between someone who’s giving you constructive feedback and someone who’s using criticism as a tool to distance themselves. The former is meant to help you grow, while the latter often leaves you feeling diminished and distant.

9) Your gut feeling

Lastly, but perhaps most importantly, trust your gut feeling. If something feels off, it often is. Our intuition is a powerful tool and it’s vital to pay attention to it.

If you consistently feel like someone is distancing themselves from you, they probably are. Your feelings are valid and should not be ignored. Trusting your gut can often guide you in understanding what’s really going on in your relationship.