9 subtle signs someone isn’t an entirely honest or trustworthy person
There’s a thin line between being naturally guarded and being dishonest. It all boils down to trust.
Recognizing dishonesty isn’t always about catching people in huge lies. Sometimes, it’s about paying attention to the little things.
Deciphering the subtle signs of someone’s lack of honesty can be tricky, but it is not impossible. Sure, people can put up a façade, but there are often tell-tale signs that suggest they may not be entirely trustworthy.
In this article, we’ll uncover some of these sneaky indicators. These are 9 subtle signs someone might not be an entirely honest or trustworthy person.
1) Inconsistencies in their stories
One of the key indicators of dishonesty is inconsistency. This is no secret, yet it’s often overlooked.
Consider this. When a person is being truthful, their stories and explanations will generally stay the same over time. After all, the truth doesn’t change.
But when someone is being dishonest, keeping up with their web of lies can be challenging. They might mix up details, forget what they’ve previously said, or contradict themselves.
So, if you’re noticing that someone’s stories are changing or not adding up consistently, it could be a subtle sign that they’re not being entirely honest.
Of course, everyone makes mistakes and forgets details sometimes. But chronic inconsistencies could be a red flag that you’re dealing with someone less than trustworthy.
2) They’re quick to make promises
In my experience, I’ve found that people who are quick to make grand promises are often the ones who struggle to keep them.
I remember an old friend of mine, let’s call him Jake. Jake was always full of big plans and grand promises. “I’ll help you move next week”, “I’ll pay you back tomorrow”, “Let’s start a business together, I’ll handle the paperwork”. It seemed like he was always ready to lend a hand or make things happen.
But over time, I noticed a pattern. These promises rarely materialized into action. The help with moving never came, the repayment was always delayed, and the business plan never got off the ground.
Jake wasn’t necessarily a bad person, but his habit of making and breaking promises made him unreliable and untrustworthy in my eyes.
3) They avoid eye contact
Eye contact can be a powerful tool for communication. It can convey respect, attention, and confidence. But, it can also reveal discomfort, anxiety, and even dishonesty.
It’s been discovered in various studies that people often avoid eye contact when they’re not telling the truth. It’s an instinctive response to the internal discomfort of being dishonest. They subconsciously feel that by looking away, they can hide their deception.
Now, this isn’t a foolproof sign. Some people naturally avoid eye contact due to shyness or cultural reasons. But if someone who normally maintains good eye contact starts avoiding it while explaining something important, it could be a subtle sign of dishonesty.
4) They deflect or evade questions
There’s a certain openness that comes with honesty. When someone is being truthful, they’re typically willing to answer questions and provide clarity where needed.
However, when people aren’t entirely honest, they tend to deflect or sidestep questions. Perhaps they’ll respond with a vague answer, change the subject, or even counter with another question.
This evasive behavior can be a subtle sign of dishonesty. It suggests they might be hiding something or not willing to reveal the whole truth.
So, if you’re in a conversation and find your questions being met with deflections instead of direct answers, it could be a sign that something’s amiss.
5) They’re overly defensive
Defensiveness can be a natural response to criticism or accusations. But when someone is overly defensive, especially over seemingly minor issues, it could be a sign of dishonesty.
When people feel guilty or are hiding something, they might react strongly to any form of scrutiny. Their heightened defensiveness can be an effort to protect their secrets and maintain their façade.
So, if you notice someone getting unusually defensive, especially when their honesty is questioned, it might indicate that they’re not being entirely truthful.
Remember though, context is key. Everyone has bad days and might react more strongly than usual. But if this defensiveness is a consistent pattern, it could be a subtle sign of dishonesty.
6) They break confidence
Trust is a precious commodity. When we share our secrets or personal information with someone, we do it with the expectation of confidentiality.
Sadly, not everyone values this trust. I’ve encountered individuals who have willingly shared secrets entrusted to them, under the guise of harmless gossip or casual conversation. It’s always a heartbreaking realization.
When someone breaks your confidence or that of others, it’s a clear sign that they may not be entirely trustworthy. If they can casually betray trust once, there’s nothing stopping them from doing it again.
7) They rarely show empathy
Empathy forms the bedrock of honest and trustworthy relationships. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, to put yourself in their shoes.
I recall a time when I was going through a rough patch. Most of my friends were supportive, but there was one who seemed indifferent to my struggles. Even when I shared my feelings, they would quickly change the subject or make light of it.
It was a clear sign that they lacked empathy, and over time, it became harder to trust them.
If someone rarely shows empathy or dismisses your feelings, it could be a sign that they’re not truly invested in your well-being. And if they can’t be trusted with your emotions, can they really be trusted at all?
8) They take more than they give
Relationships are about balance. In a healthy, trustful relationship, there’s a mutual exchange of love, respect, and support.
However, when someone continually takes more than they give, it could be a sign of dishonesty or selfishness. These individuals might only reach out when they need something or show interest in you when it benefits them.
This pattern of behavior can indicate that they don’t value the relationship as much as they should.
9) They lack accountability
Accountability is the cornerstone of trust and honesty. When someone makes a mistake, owning up to it shows their integrity.
But when individuals lack accountability, constantly shifting blame or not taking responsibility for their actions, it’s a glaring sign of dishonesty. These people can cause damage and then distance themselves from the repercussions.
Remember, everyone makes mistakes. It’s how we handle them that reveals our character. If someone consistently avoids taking responsibility for their actions, they’re likely not an entirely honest or trustworthy person.