There’s a thin line between influence and manipulation, with the latter being more sinister.

Manipulation is often about control, and master manipulators are skilled at using words to make others feel inferior.

Recognizing their tactics is the first step to taking back your power. I’m here to help you identify 9 subtle phrases they might use to suggest you’re beneath them.

This isn’t about paranoia, but about being informed. 

Let’s get started.

1) “I could be wrong, but…”

Manipulators are masters at undermining your confidence and making you question your own judgment.

One of their frequently used tools is the phrase “I could be wrong, but…”

This statement is a perfect example of a backhanded manipulation tactic. On the surface, it appears to show humility and openness to being incorrect. Yet, its true purpose is often to plant a seed of doubt in your mind.

By prefacing their opinion or suggestion with this phrase, manipulators subtly convey that their perspective is superior to yours. They’re implying that they have considered all the facts and arrived at a conclusion, while you might not have thought things through as thoroughly.

What’s worse, by making you question yourself, they make you more susceptible to their future manipulative tactics. This creates a cycle where they continually erode your self-confidence and your ability to trust your own judgment.

2) “No offense, but…”

There’s a phrase that manipulators love to use that I’ve personally been on the receiving end of, and it’s “no offense, but…”

At first glance, it seems like they’re trying to be polite or considerate. But here’s the thing – anything that follows “no offense, but…” is usually pretty offensive or derogatory.

For instance, I remember when a previous boss of mine would often say, “No offense, but you might want to leave this to the experts.” It was a subtle way of telling me that my ideas weren’t valued and that I was out of my depth.

It was a clever manipulation tactic because it put me in a defensive mode. I felt like I had to prove myself worthy of contributing instead of focusing on the problem at hand.

In reality, my ideas were just as valid and needed to be heard. But this phrase was used to make me feel inferior and keep me from voicing my thoughts.

3) “You’re too sensitive”

A common manipulation tactic is gaslighting, and one of its hallmark phrases is “You’re too sensitive.”

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation technique that seeks to make the victim doubt their own perception, memory, or sanity. And telling someone they’re “too sensitive” is a classic example.

The manipulator uses this phrase when they want to deflect attention away from their own harmful behavior and place the blame on the victim. It’s a way of dismissing your feelings and experiences, making you feel like you’re overreacting or imagining things.

This phrase can be particularly damaging because over time, it can lead to self-doubt and lower self-esteem.

Individuals who regularly engage in gaslighting are more likely to score high on measures of narcissism and antisocial behavior.

4) “I’m just being honest”

“I’m just being honest” is another manipulative phrase often used to disguise hurtful comments and belittling remarks.

Manipulators use this phrase as a shield, a way to escape blame for their cruel words. They present themselves as the bearers of harsh truths, hoping to make their victims feel inferior or insecure.

It’s a cunning tactic because it makes it difficult for you to challenge them without appearing to be against honesty.

But here’s the thing: honesty doesn’t mean rudeness. Constructive criticism can be delivered without belittling or insulting someone.

If someone uses the “I’m just being honest” card to justify their hurtful words, it’s not about your shortcomings. It’s about their need to feel superior and in control. Don’t let it shake your self-worth.

5) “I’m just saying”

Another phrase manipulators use to disguise their attempts to belittle you is “I’m just saying.”

It’s a sneaky way of presenting their opinion or criticism as a neutral observation. They’ll say something hurtful or offensive, then follow it up with “I’m just saying,” as though they’re merely making an innocent comment.

But don’t be fooled. This phrase is often used to demean you while avoiding accountability for their words. It allows them to express negative opinions or criticisms without seeming confrontational.

For example, they might say, “You never seem to get anything right, I’m just saying,” implying you’re incompetent but framing it as a casual observation.

If someone uses “I’m just saying” to belittle you, remember that this is their problem, not yours. You have the right to challenge them and stand up for yourself.

6) “You just don’t get it, do you?”

This phrase is a double whammy. Not only does it suggest that you’re intellectually inferior, but it also isolates you by implying that everyone else understands something that you don’t.

The phrase “You just don’t get it, do you?” is a manipulator’s attempt to belittle your intelligence and make you feel left out. It’s designed to make you doubt your own understanding and capabilities.

I’ve seen it countless times, in relationships, friendships, even in the workplace. It’s a hurtful phrase that can really shake your self-esteem if you let it.

But here’s the thing: just because someone says you don’t get it doesn’t mean you’re ignorant or slow. Everyone has their own pace of understanding, and it’s okay to ask questions or need more time to process information.

7) “It was just a joke”

Ah, the classic “it was just a joke.” I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard this one.

This phrase is often used by manipulators to make insulting comments or belittle you, then play it off as humor when you react. It’s a way for them to assert dominance or make you feel inferior, while avoiding the responsibility for their hurtful words.

For example, I once had a friend who would constantly make fun of my ambitions, then pass it off as a joke when I confronted her. It took me a while to see that she was using humor as a cover for her undermining comments.

The thing to remember is, humor should never be at the expense of someone’s feelings. If someone uses “it was just a joke” to justify their hurtful words, it’s not about your lack of humor, it’s about their lack of respect. Stand your ground and don’t let them dismiss your feelings.

8) “You’re overreacting”

“You’re overreacting” is another phrase manipulators use to discredit your feelings and experiences. It’s a way for them to deflect blame and make you feel like you’re in the wrong for being upset or hurt by their actions.

They’ll do something hurtful, and when you react, they’ll accuse you of overreacting. This is a gaslighting technique designed to make you question your own feelings and reactions.

Remember this: your feelings are valid, and no one has the right to tell you how you should or shouldn’t react. If someone uses this phrase against you, it’s not a reflection of your emotional stability, but a sign of their manipulation. Stand firm in your feelings and don’t let them be dismissed.

9) “I’m only trying to help”

Manipulators often use the guise of helpfulness to belittle others and assert their control. The phrase “I’m only trying to help” is a classic example.

They’ll offer unsolicited advice or critique your choices, then claim they’re just trying to help when you resist. It’s a way for them to undermine your decisions and make you feel incompetent.

But here’s the most important thing: You are capable of making your own decisions. You don’t need someone else to tell you what’s best for you. If someone uses this phrase to control or belittle you, remember that it’s not about your capabilities, it’s about their need to control. Stand firm in your decisions and trust in your ability to navigate your own life.