We all want to be liked, right? But let’s face it, not everyone will. And sometimes, it isn’t easy to spot when someone doesn’t fancy us much.

Psychology has some pretty neat tricks up its sleeve to help you decipher these subtle cues. It’s about observing certain behaviors that could indicate someone isn’t your biggest fan.

In this article, we’ll dive into 9 subtle behaviors that reveal whether someone isn’t as fond of you as you might think. 

Let’s get started.

1) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful tool we use to connect with others. It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “I see you, I’m listening to you, and I value your presence.”

But what happens when someone consistently avoids your gaze?

Psychology tells us that when someone isn’t fond of us, they might avoid making eye contact. It’s their subtle way of disconnecting, of not fully engaging in the interaction.

However, it’s crucial not to jump to conclusions. This behavior can also be a sign of shyness or discomfort. So, always consider the context and pair it with other signs before making assumptions.

Figuring out human behavior isn’t an exact science, but understanding these subtle cues can give you a better idea of where you stand with someone.

2) They constantly check their phone when you’re around

We’re all guilty of spending too much time on our phones. But there’s a difference between a quick glance at a notification and blatant, continuous scrolling in someone’s presence.

I remember catching up with an old college buddy. As we sat down for coffee, I noticed he was constantly checking his phone, barely making eye contact. First, I thought he was just busy. But as it continued throughout our meet-up, it became clear – he wasn’t all that interested in our conversation.

This behavior can be a subtle signal that someone isn’t really engaged or interested in what you have to say. It’s a modern-day version of ‘avoidance.’ However, it’s important to remember that this might not always be personal. They could just be preoccupied with something else in their life.

Again, it’s all about the context and considering other signs. But it’s definitely something worth noting if you’re trying to decode someone’s feelings towards you.

3) They mimic your negative body language

Mimicry is a fascinating aspect of human behavior. We often mirror the body language of those we like or admire as a way to connect and create rapport. However, the flip side is also true.

If someone doesn’t hold you in high regard, they might unconsciously mimic your negative body language. If you cross your arms, they’ll cross theirs. If you seem closed off, they’ll mirror that too. It’s an unconscious attempt to create a barrier or distance.

This phenomenon was highlighted in a study published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, where researchers found that people are likely to mimic the negative body language of those they dislike.

Of course, this isn’t definitive proof that someone doesn’t like you – it’s just one piece of the puzzle. But combined with other signs, it can give you a clearer picture of someone’s feelings towards you.

4) They rarely initiate conversation

Initiating conversation is a clear sign of interest and engagement. It shows that the person is eager to interact and connect with you.

When someone doesn’t like you, they might avoid starting conversations. You might find yourself always being the one to reach out or start chatting. Their replies might be brief and lacking in enthusiasm, another subtle sign they might not enjoy your company as much.

However, it’s important to take into account their personality type. Some people are naturally more reserved or introverted and may not initiate conversation as often, regardless of their feelings towards you. Hence, always consider other signs and the context when interpreting this behavior.

5) They keep conversations surface-level

Deep, meaningful conversations often indicate a certain level of comfort and liking between individuals. When someone likes you, they’ll be interested in getting to know you on a deeper level, beyond basic small talk.

On the other hand, if someone doesn’t like you, they might keep conversations strictly surface-level. They might steer clear of personal topics or deeper discussions. It’s their way of maintaining emotional distance and not investing too much in the relationship.

However, remember that some people are naturally more private and may take time to open up. Don’t jump to conclusions based solely on this sign. Always consider the context and other signs to get a more accurate insight into their feelings towards you.

6) They show little empathy towards you

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what connects us as humans, making us feel seen, heard, and valued.

When someone likes you, they’ll show a genuine interest in your feelings and experiences. They’ll empathize with your struggles and celebrate your victories.

However, if someone doesn’t particularly like you, they might show little to no empathy when you’re going through tough times. You might notice a lack of interest or indifference towards your experiences.

But remember, everyone has their own battles to fight. Sometimes, their lack of empathy might not be about you at all but rather a reflection of their own emotional state.

7) They interrupt or talk over you

There was this colleague of mine at my previous job. I noticed that every time I tried to voice my opinion in a meeting, he would interrupt me or talk over me. At first, I brushed it off, thinking he was just passionate about the topic. But as this behavior persisted, I realized it was more than that.

Being interrupted or talked over can be a subtle sign that someone doesn’t value your contributions or respect your voice. It’s their way of asserting dominance or dismissing your ideas.

However, keep in mind that some people might not even realize they’re doing it. It could be a bad habit rather than an indication of their feelings towards you.

While it’s essential to note this behavior, always consider other signs and the context before drawing conclusions.

8) They avoid physical touch

Physical touch, like a pat on the back or a friendly handshake, is a common way to show affection and create connection in many cultures. It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “I’m comfortable around you.”

However, if someone doesn’t like you, they might avoid any form of physical contact. They might step back if you come too close or dodge your attempt at a friendly hug.

Remember, everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to physical touch. Some people are naturally more reserved and may avoid it regardless of their feelings towards you.

9) They rarely smile when you’re around

Smiling is one of the most universal signs of friendliness and liking. When we’re around people we enjoy, we naturally tend to smile more.

If someone doesn’t like you, their smiles might be few and far between when you’re around. Their facial expressions might seem forced or inauthentic.

But it’s key to remember that everyone has their own struggles, and their lack of smiles might not have anything to do with you. Always approach situations with kindness and understanding, regardless of how others may act.

Final thoughts: It’s about understanding, not judging

When it comes to the subtle intricacies of human behavior, we must remember that it’s as diverse as humanity itself. What may be a sign of dislike for one person might be a sign of discomfort for another.

A quote from famed psychologist Carl Jung comes to mind here, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

So, as we navigate the complex terrain of human interactions, let’s aim to understand rather than judge. Let’s strive to reflect on our relationships and interactions, seeking to empathize with others rather than hastily categorizing their behaviors.

After all, understanding is the first step towards connection. And in a world that can often feel divided, fostering understanding and connection is more important than ever.