9 subtle behaviors reveal someone’s true character, according to psychology

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | May 21, 2024, 4:04 am

We often hear the saying, “actions speak louder than words.” Well, it’s not far from the truth.

According to psychology, it’s the subtle behaviors that truly reveal someone’s character. These little actions and habits can tell us more about a person than any words they say.

It’s like being a detective, except instead of solving crimes, you’re deciphering human behavior. And I’m about to share with you the 9 subtle signs that you need to look for.

So, are you ready to play detective?

1) Observing their reaction to criticism

Nothing reveals the true character of a person more than how they react to criticism.

According to psychology, this is one of the most telling signs of someone’s character. Is their reaction defensive or accepting? Do they resort to blame games or take it constructively?

It all comes down to how mature emotionally they are. A person who accepts criticism, understands its value, and uses it as a catalyst for improvement is often considered emotionally mature.

On the other hand, someone who gets defensive or shifts blame might not have great emotional intelligence.

So, next time you’re trying to gauge someone’s character, pay attention to how they handle criticism. It can give you a deep insight into their emotional maturity and overall character.

2) How they treat those who can do nothing for them

This is one of my personal favorite indicators of someone’s character.

I remember a colleague of mine; let’s call him Mark. We were out for a team dinner, and I couldn’t help but notice how he interacted with the waitstaff. He was polite, patient, and didn’t fail to leave a generous tip. He treated them with the same respect and kindness that he extended towards everyone else, despite knowing they couldn’t do anything to benefit him professionally.

That, in my eyes, spoke volumes about Mark’s character. He wasn’t just kind to people from whom he could gain something; his kindness wasn’t selective.

So, watch and see how people treat those who can’t offer them any personal or professional advancement. It’s a big telltale sign of their true character.

3) Their punctuality

Believe it or not, a person’s punctuality can reveal a lot about their character.

Psychologists have found that those who are consistently on time often have traits such as organization, respect for others, and conscientiousness. These individuals understand that being late can affect others and are therefore more mindful of their time.

On the contrary, people who are often late may struggle with time management, which can indicate a lack of self-discipline or consideration for others’ time.

4) Their listening skills

Listening is an art, and not everyone has mastered it.

The way someone listens can tell you a lot about their character. Individuals who actively listen to others, acknowledging their thoughts and feelings, often show empathy and respect for others.

On the contrary, those who interrupt, get distracted, or don’t respond appropriately may indicate self-centeredness or lack of consideration for others.

So, pay attention to how people listen when others speak. You might discover more about their character than you expected.

5) How they handle stress

Life is full of stressful moments and how a person handles these situations can be very revealing.

Someone who can stay calm and composed during high-pressure situations demonstrates resilience and emotional stability. They’re likely to think clearly, make rational decisions, and not let their emotions dictate their actions.

On the other hand, those who easily crumble under stress might struggle with emotional regulation. They may have difficulty thinking clearly and may make impulsive decisions.

How people react under stress is a window into their emotional intelligence and overall character.

6) Their ability to apologize

Apologizing is more than just uttering the words “I’m sorry”. It’s about acknowledging a mistake, taking responsibility for it, and expressing a genuine intention to make things right.

Someone who can sincerely apologize shows humility and emotional maturity. It takes a lot of courage to admit when you’re wrong, and it’s a sign of respect for the feelings and perspectives of others.

On the flip side, those who struggle to apologize or make insincere apologies might lack empathy or have issues with pride.

So, notice how people apologize. It’s not just about the words they say, but also the intention behind them. It can tell you a lot about their character and how they value their relationships with others.

7) Their respect for boundaries

Once, I shared a personal matter with a friend, explicitly asking her to keep it confidential. A few days later, I discovered she had shared my secret with others. It was a clear violation of my trust and a blatant disregard for the boundaries I had set.

Respect for others’ boundaries is a crucial aspect of character. Those who respect boundaries understand the importance of personal space and privacy. They show empathy, understanding, and respect for others’ rights to their feelings, thoughts, and experiences.

In contrast, those who frequently violate boundaries may struggle with understanding and respecting others’ individuality and autonomy.

Observing how people respect or disregard boundaries is an essential indicator of their character and their respect for others.

8) Their reaction to others’ success

How someone reacts to other people’s success can be an interesting measure of their character.

Those who genuinely celebrate others’ achievements display a sense of security in their self-worth and a generous spirit. They are likely to be supportive, kind, and free from envy.

However, individuals who react negatively or dismissively to others’ success may harbor feelings of jealousy or insecurity. This can indicate a lack of self-esteem and difficulty in maintaining healthy relationships.

9) Their actions when no one is watching

The true test of character lies in what a person does when no one is watching.

Individuals who maintain their values and principles, even when they’re alone, demonstrate integrity and authenticity. They don’t change their behavior to impress others or to gain approval; they stay true to who they are.

On the other hand, those who act differently when they think no one is watching may lack honesty and integrity.

Observe how people behave when they think they’re unobserved. It’s often in these unguarded moments that their true character shines through.

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