9 simple behaviors that lead to deeper connections

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | October 11, 2024, 2:50 pm

Creating deep connections with people isn’t about grand gestures or impressive monologues. It’s about small, simple behaviors that over time, create a bond of trust, understanding, and mutual respect.

These behaviors can be as simple as listening attentively or expressing genuine interest in their stories. And once you master these behaviors, you can build meaningful relationships with anyone.

In this article, I’ll share with you 9 simple but powerful behaviors that can help you form deeper connections with people. These are behaviors that I’ve personally used and found effective in my own life.

So, if you’re ready to take your relationships to the next level, keep reading.

1) Listen actively

One of the most powerful tools for building deeper connections is active listening.

Active listening is more than just hearing the words that someone is saying. It’s about paying full attention, showing that you’re engaged, and responding in a way that makes the other person feel heard and understood.

It’s a simple behavior, but it’s one that can make a huge difference in the quality of your relationships. When you listen actively, you show that you value what the other person has to say. You show that you respect their thoughts and feelings.

And when people feel valued and respected, they are more likely to open up and form deeper connections with you.

So next time you’re in a conversation, try to really listen. Avoid distractions, maintain eye contact, and respond empathetically. You might be surprised at how much of a difference it can make.

2) Show empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it’s a crucial behavior for forming deeper connections.

I remember a time when a close friend of mine was going through a tough break up. Instead of offering advice or trying to fix things, I simply sat with him, listened to his feelings, and validated his emotions.

I said things like “That sounds really tough, I’m sorry you’re going through this” and “I can understand why you would feel that way”. I didn’t try to solve his problems, but simply tried to understand and empathize with his situation.

In the weeks that followed, he told me how much he appreciated my empathy during that difficult time. He said it made him feel less alone and more understood. That experience really showed me how powerful empathy can be in deepening connections with others.

So remember, next time someone confides in you, try to empathize with their feelings. You don’t always have to offer solutions or advice – sometimes, just understanding and validating their emotions is enough.

3) Maintain eye contact

Eye contact is an easy and effective way to establish a connection with someone. When you maintain eye contact, it signals that you’re focused and interested in the conversation.

A study from the Idiap Research Institute in Switzerland found that people who maintain eye contact are perceived as more reliable, warm, sociable, and sincere. The research also shows that looking someone in the eyes can create feelings of mutual likability and trustworthiness.

So, the next time you’re having a conversation, try to hold eye contact. It might make the difference between a forgettable conversation and a meaningful connection.

4) Be authentic

Authenticity is key to forming deep connections. When you’re genuine and true to yourself, people can sense it and they’re more likely to trust you and open up to you.

Being authentic means expressing your true thoughts and feelings. It also means staying consistent with your values and actions. You’re not trying to be someone else or pretending to be something you’re not.

Remember, nobody is perfect and everyone has their own quirks. Embrace your individuality and let your true self shine. When you do, people will appreciate your authenticity and feel more comfortable being themselves around you, which leads to deeper connections.

5) Show appreciation

Showing appreciation goes a long way in creating deeper connections. It’s an expression of gratitude that can make people feel valued and loved.

We all crave recognition and validation for our efforts. A simple thank you or a heartfelt compliment can light up someone’s day and deepen your bond with them.

One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou, who said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

By showing sincere appreciation, we can make others feel seen, valued, and cherished. This doesn’t mean doling out empty compliments, but rather noticing the good in others and taking the time to acknowledge it.

Whether it’s a colleague’s hard work, a friend’s kindness, or a partner’s patience, let them know you see and appreciate their qualities. Not only will this help build a stronger connection, but it also encourages more of those positive behaviors.

6) Open up

Opening up to someone can be scary. It involves sharing parts of yourself that you might usually keep hidden – your fears, your dreams, your past mistakes.

A few years ago, I struggled with anxiety. It was a difficult time in my life and I often felt isolated. One day, I mustered the courage to share my struggle with a close friend. Instead of judging me, she listened and shared her own experiences with anxiety.

In that moment, our friendship deepened. By sharing something so personal, I allowed her to see a part of me that few people knew about. And in doing so, we created a deeper connection based on mutual understanding and trust.

Opening up can be hard, but it’s worth it. When we share our vulnerabilities, we invite others to do the same and create connections that are built on authenticity and trust.

7) Be patient

Creating deeper connections doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, patience, and consistent effort.

Building a strong, meaningful relationship is like growing a plant. You can’t just plant a seed and expect a flower to bloom the next day. You need to water it regularly, make sure it gets enough sunlight, and wait for it to grow at its own pace.

The same goes for relationships. You need to spend quality time together, share experiences, and gradually get to know each other better. You can’t rush this process, and trying to do so can actually hinder the development of a deeper connection.

So be patient. Allow your relationships to grow naturally and in their own time. The result will be connections that are stronger and more meaningful.

9) Be there in times of need

When someone is going through a tough time, the best thing you can do is simply be there for them. Your presence, empathy, and support can mean the world to them and often lead to a deeper connection.

It’s easy to be a friend when times are good, but the true test of a relationship comes during the hard times. Being there for someone when they’re struggling not only shows that you care, but it also builds a level of trust and closeness that can’t be achieved in any other way.

So don’t shy away from these moments. Embrace them as opportunities to deepen your connections. Your support could make all the difference.

Final thoughts: It’s all about the heart

At the core of forming deeper connections lies an element that is universal and timeless – the heart.

All the behaviors we’ve discussed, whether it’s active listening, showing empathy, or being there in times of need, are expressions of the heart. They are ways we show love, respect, and care for one another.

The American poet Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

These simple behaviors are powerful because they make people feel valued, understood, and loved. And when people feel this way, they naturally form deeper connections with you.

So as you navigate through your relationships, remember this: it’s not about grand gestures or impressive accomplishments. It’s about how you make others feel through your everyday actions and behaviors.

And that’s something that comes straight from the heart.