9 signs you’re not living in the present and how to change it

Graeme Richards by Graeme Richards | February 28, 2024, 12:39 am

Living in the present is a concept that’s easier said than done.

We often find ourselves dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about future uncertainties. But, let me tell you, this isn’t the way to live life to the fullest.

Recognizing whether you’re truly living in the present can be tricky. But guess what? There are some telling signs that you’re not, and I’m here to help you identify them.

This article, “9 signs you’re not living in the present and how to change it”, is all about helping you spot these signs and providing practical tips to address them. Because, believe me, living in the now can be life-changing!

1) You’re constantly reminiscing or worrying

It’s natural to reflect on past experiences or anticipate future events. But, when this becomes your norm, you’re not living in the present.

Here’s a thing about dwelling on the past and future – it’s like living in a virtual reality. You’re either replaying old tapes or creating hypothetical scenarios, neither of which exist in the present moment.

If you find yourself mostly engaged in thoughts of “what was” or “what could be”, it’s a glaring sign that you’re not present.

Now, I’m not saying it’s wrong to remember sweet memories or plan for the future. The problem arises when these thoughts consume you and prevent you from enjoying the current moment.

So, if this rings a bell, it’s time to make some changes and bring yourself back to the now. And don’t worry! This article will guide you on how to do just that.

2) You’re always multitasking

I used to pride myself on being a multitasker.

I would be checking emails while cooking dinner, making phone calls during my daily morning run, or planning my next work project while spending time with my family. I thought this was maximizing productivity.

But, what I didn’t realize was that in trying to do everything at once, I was actually not fully present in any of those moments.

I was so focused on ticking off tasks from my to-do list that I wasn’t really ‘living’ those experiences. The joy of cooking, the serenity of a morning run, the laughter of my family – I was missing out on all of these because I wasn’t truly present.

Multitasking might seem efficient on the surface, but it can be a clear sign that you’re not living in the present. If you’re doing it all the time, like I was, it might be time to slow down and focus on one thing at a time. And trust me, the present moment has a lot more to offer than you think.

3) Your mind is always racing

Have you ever noticed how your mind tends to jump from one thought to another, like a monkey swinging from tree to tree? This is known as the “monkey mind” in Buddhism.

When your mind is always racing, it’s difficult to stay focused on the present moment. You might be physically here, but mentally you’re somewhere else entirely.

It’s like trying to enjoy a peaceful walk in the park, but your mind is busy planning your next work presentation, or fretting over a disagreement you had with a friend.

If you’re constantly caught up in this whirlwind of thoughts and not really ‘here’, it’s a pretty solid sign that you’re not living in the present.

Living in the now requires you to calm your monkey mind. And while it’s not always easy, it’s definitely possible. Stay tuned for some strategies on how to do just that.

4) You’re rarely enjoying what you’re doing

Take a moment and ask yourself, when was the last time you truly enjoyed what you were doing, without thinking about the next task or worrying about the outcome?

If it’s hard for you to remember, it’s a sign you’re not living in the present.

When we’re fully engaged in the present, we can find joy in simple tasks like sipping our morning coffee, reading a book, or even doing the dishes. It’s about immersing ourselves in the experience without letting our minds wander off.

Living in the present means finding joy in the journey, not just the destination. If you’re always focusing on the end goal and forgetting to enjoy the process, it’s time to shift your mindset. And don’t worry, we’ll discuss how to do just that later in this article.

5) You’re frequently on autopilot

Ever driven to a destination and realized you don’t remember much of the drive? Or finished a meal without really tasting it? That’s what being on autopilot is like.

When we’re on autopilot, we go through the motions of life without really being aware of what we’re doing or experiencing. It’s like watching a movie of your life, rather than living it.

Being on autopilot means you’re not fully present. You’re not engaging with the world around you or paying attention to your own thoughts and feelings.

If you find yourself going through life on autopilot, it’s time to take control of the steering wheel and start living in the present. And I’m here to show you how.

6) You’re not appreciating the small things

Life’s beauty often lies in the small, everyday things. The smell of fresh coffee in the morning, the sound of rain against your window, or the warmth of a loved one’s embrace – these are moments that make life worth living.

But when you’re not living in the present, you tend to overlook these precious moments. You’re so caught up in bigger goals or past regrets that you forget to appreciate what’s right in front of you.

The inability to appreciate the small things is a clear sign you’re not present. And trust me, once you start noticing and cherishing these moments, life becomes much more beautiful and fulfilling.

So, open your heart to the little joys around you. They are often the most significant.

7) Your relationships are suffering

There was a time when I realized that despite being surrounded by people I loved, I wasn’t really present with them. I was there physically, but my mind was often elsewhere – thinking about work, or some other concern.

This lack of presence affected my relationships. Conversations were superficial, and I wasn’t really connecting on a deeper level.

If you notice a similar pattern in your relationships, it could be a sign that you’re not living in the present. Being present is about giving your undivided attention to the person in front of you. It’s about listening deeply, sharing openly, and connecting authentically.

And sometimes, all it takes is to put down your phone, let go of your worries, and just be there with the people who matter to you. Trust me, your relationships will thank you for it.

8) You’re feeling unfulfilled

Fulfillment isn’t about achieving big goals or accumulating wealth. It’s about finding contentment in the present moment, no matter what that looks like.

If you’re constantly chasing after something – be it a promotion, a bigger house, or even happiness itself – you might find that when you finally get it, the sense of fulfillment is fleeting. Before you know it, you’re onto chasing the next thing.

This constant chase is a sign that you’re not living in the present. True fulfillment comes from appreciating where you are right now, not where you want to be. It’s about finding joy in the journey, not just the destination.

If you’re feeling unfulfilled despite your achievements, it might be time to refocus on the present. Because true joy and contentment can only be found in the here and now.

9) You’re rarely at peace

Peace is a state of mind, not a destination. And it’s something that can only be experienced in the present moment.

If you’re constantly feeling anxious, stressed, or restless, it’s a sign that you’re not living in the present. These feelings often stem from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

The key to finding peace is to bring your attention back to the present moment. It’s about letting go of what was and what could be, and embracing what is.

When you’re truly living in the present, you’ll find a sense of calm and tranquility that no amount of planning or worrying can offer. And that’s the most beautiful thing about being present – it brings peace.

Embrace the impermanence

Life is a constant flow of moments, each one unique and fleeting. This truth can be both beautiful and terrifying.

In Buddhism, this concept is known as “impermanence”, the idea that everything changes and nothing remains the same. It’s a fundamental principle that encourages us to appreciate and fully experience each present moment.

Impermanence reminds us that the past is gone, the future is not yet here, and all we really have is the present. It’s a call to action to live fully in the now, to appreciate every moment before it slips away.

When we embrace impermanence, we learn to let go of our past regrets and future anxieties, allowing us to truly live in the present.

So as you navigate through this journey called life, remember to pause every now and then. Breathe in the present, soak in its beauty, its chaos, its fleeting nature. Because in the end, all we have is now.