9 signs you’re not an entirely honest person, according to psychology

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | September 4, 2024, 12:22 pm

Honesty, they say, is the best policy. But sometimes, even the best of us can stray from the path of truthfulness.

Psychology has a lot to say about honesty and dishonesty. It identifies certain behaviors and patterns that can indicate when someone is not being entirely honest.

Being honest with ourselves about our own honesty is the first step towards improvement. As a starting point, here are 9 signs identified by psychology that may suggest you’re not being entirely truthful.

Get ready for some self-reflection!

1) You’re a master of omission

It’s all about what you don’t say. According to psychology, one classic sign of dishonesty is the art of omission.

We’ve all been there. Faced with a tough question, we choose to carefully navigate around the truth, omitting key details that could paint a more accurate picture. It’s not outright lying, but it’s certainly not being totally honest.

This form of deception is subtle, and we often convince ourselves that if we’re not outright lying, then it’s not really dishonest. But deep down, we know it’s not entirely true.

Psychology suggests that if you find yourself frequently leaving out important details or twisting facts to suit your narrative, you might not be as honest as you think.

So take a moment to reflect. Are you revealing the whole story or just convenient parts of it? Honesty, after all, is about telling the full truth.

2) You’re constantly justifying your actions

Psychology tells us another sign of dishonesty is the constant need to justify our actions. When we know we’re not being truthful, we tend to over-explain to make our story seem more convincing.

I remember a time when I was supposed to meet a friend for dinner, but I was too tired to go. Instead of being honest about it, I concocted a complex story about an urgent work assignment that came up last minute.

I found myself going into unnecessary details about the imaginary project, the fictitious deadline, and the non-existent boss who was breathing down my neck. It was an elaborate lie, and the constant justification was my attempt to make it sound more believable.

Looking back, I realize that all that justification wasn’t for my friend – it was for me. To convince myself that my dishonesty was necessary, even justified. But in reality, it was just a sign that I wasn’t being entirely honest – with my friend or with myself.

3) Your body language betrays you

Body language speaks volumes, often revealing more than our words. When we’re not being entirely honest, our bodies have a way of giving us away.

Take the act of crossing arms, for instance. It’s a common posture when we feel defensive or closed off. In the context of honesty, it could indicate that we’re hiding something or not being completely open.

Research has linked such non-verbal cues to dishonesty. One study found that people who lied were more likely to engage in self-touching gestures like rubbing their nose or covering their mouth.

So, if you find yourself fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, or adopting defensive postures when speaking, it might be a sign that you’re not being as truthful as you could be.

4) You’re quick to shift blame

Is it always someone else’s fault? If you find yourself consistently shifting blame onto others, it may be a sign you’re not being entirely forthright.

We all make mistakes, but being honest means owning up to them. Blaming others is an easy way out, allowing us to avoid accountability for our actions.

If you regularly find yourself pointing fingers or making excuses, it might be time for a moment of introspection. Dishonesty isn’t always about lying to others – sometimes, it’s about lying to ourselves.

Remember, recognizing the problem is the first step towards becoming a more honest person.

5) Your stories are always changing

Do your stories tend to change every time you tell them? This could be a sign that you’re not being entirely honest.

When we’re truthful, our stories stay consistent because we’re simply recalling facts. But when we stretch the truth or make things up, it becomes harder to keep track of all the details.

If you find yourself constantly tweaking your stories, adding new elements, or forgetting what you originally said, it might be a sign that you’re bending the truth more than you realize.

Honesty is about consistency. So, next time you share a story, pay attention to the details. Are they the same as the last time you told it? If not, it may be time to question your honesty.

6) You struggle with genuine apologies

Apologizing when we’ve done something wrong is one of the hardest things to do. It requires humility, sincerity, and most importantly, honesty.

When we’re not entirely honest, we tend to offer half-hearted apologies, often focusing on the other person’s reaction rather than our own actions. It’s the “I’m sorry you feel that way” instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

If you find it hard to apologize without qualifying it or shifting blame, it might be because you’re not being entirely truthful – to the other person or to yourself.

Remember, a genuine apology comes from a place of honesty. It’s admitting that we were wrong and expressing sincere regret. It’s not easy, but it’s a vital part of being an honest person.

7) You avoid difficult conversations

Facing difficult conversations is a part of life. But when we’re not being entirely honest, we tend to avoid these discussions.

I recall a time when I had to confront a friend about an issue that was bothering me. I was worried about how they would react, so I kept putting it off. The longer I waited, the more I found myself bending the truth to avoid the conversation.

Avoiding difficult conversations often leads to dishonesty, as we twist the truth to keep the peace. But in doing so, we’re not being honest with the other person or ourselves.

Facing difficult conversations head-on is hard but necessary. It’s a sign of maturity, respect for others, and most importantly, honesty.

8) You have a hard time making eye contact

Eye contact is a crucial part of human communication. It signifies openness, honesty, and trust. But when we’re not being entirely honest, maintaining eye contact can be difficult.

Studies show that people tend to avoid eye contact when they’re being dishonest. It’s as if our eyes are windows to our souls, revealing our truth, and we instinctively look away to hide our dishonesty.

If you find yourself struggling to maintain eye contact during conversations, especially when discussing something important, it could be a sign that you’re not being completely truthful.

Remember, honesty is about being open and transparent. And sometimes, our eyes can tell more of our truth than our words.

9) You feel uneasy when honesty is discussed

The discussion of honesty can make us uncomfortable when we’re not living it fully. It’s like a mirror that reflects our actions, making us confront our dishonest behaviors.

If the topic of honesty makes you squirm, it could be because you’re not being entirely truthful. It’s a sign that deep down, you know you’re not living up to your own standards of honesty.

Honesty is not just about telling the truth to others; it’s also about being truthful to ourselves. And sometimes, acknowledging our dishonesty is the first step towards becoming a more honest person.