9 signs you’re feeling lost in life, according to psychology

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | November 27, 2024, 10:42 pm

Navigating through life isn’t always a smooth sail. Sometimes, we all feel a bit lost, unsure about the path we’re on or the decisions we’re making.

Understanding these feelings can be a bit tricky. But don’t worry, psychology has some insights to offer.

According to psychologists, there are certain telltale signs that indicate you might be feeling lost in life. And acknowledging these signs is the first step towards finding your way again.

Let’s dive into some of these signs. 

1) You’re constantly questioning your choices

Let’s talk about something we’ve all been through – questioning our decisions.

According to psychology, a major sign that you’re feeling lost is a constant sense of doubt about the choices you’ve made.

This is not just about deciding what to eat for dinner, but also the bigger life decisions like your career path, relationships or where you live.

It’s perfectly normal to question yourself from time to time. But when this doubt starts creeping into every decision you make, big or small, it might be a signal that you’re feeling lost.

The core of this issue is uncertainty about your own judgement. You might find yourself over-analyzing past decisions, wondering if you made the right call, or worrying about future choices.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow once said something really useful:

“Don’t be scared of making mistakes. Jump in, do your best, and hope to learn from the slip-ups to get better.”

What he means is that to succeed, you’ve got to be okay with facing challenges and messing up sometimes. Learn from these moments and keep growing.

If you’re too scared to make mistakes, you might not try new things, and that can stop you from succeeding.

Making mistakes is a normal part of life. They help us figure out when we need to change something.

2) You’re feeling unfulfilled

This one hits close to home for me.

There was a time in my life when I had everything that was supposed to make me happy – a good job, loving family, and a comfortable life.

But despite all of that, there was a nagging feeling of emptiness. I felt like something was missing.

Psychologists say that this feeling of unfulfillment, even when everything seems to be going well on the surface, is a common sign of feeling lost in life.

It’s like you’re going through the motions without truly experiencing or enjoying life.

This feeling of dissatisfaction often stems from a disconnect between your actions and your personal values or passions.

You might be successful in your career, but if it’s not something you’re passionate about, it can leave you feeling unfulfilled.

The key here is to identify what truly matters to you.

For me, it was about pursuing my passion for writing. It wasn’t an easy decision to leave my stable job, but it ultimately led me to a path where I feel more fulfilled and less lost.

3) You’re always tired

When we think of exhaustion, we usually associate it with physical tiredness. But feeling lost in life often manifests itself as a persistent feeling of fatigue that isn’t necessarily linked to physical exertion.

This constant weariness, even after getting a good night’s sleep or resting, can be a sign that you’re feeling emotionally or mentally drained. It’s your body’s way of telling you that something’s not right.

Psychologist Robert Biswas-Diener offers some insight here.

He says, “Once you start making an effort to ‘wake yourself up’ — that is, be more mindful in your activities — you suddenly start appreciating life a lot more.”

His point is about being more aware and present in what we do.

When we’re more engaged and mindful, we often find that our energy levels start to improve because we’re not just going through the motions; we’re actually living more fully​. 

After all, being mindful means you’re focusing on the present moment, which can lower stress and clear your mind. This can make you feel less mentally drained.

Plus, when you’re really engaged in activities that matter to you, you tend to enjoy them more. This enjoyment can give you a nice energy boost.

4) You’re avoiding people

Are you finding yourself increasingly wanting to retreat into your own space, away from the company of others? This could be another sign that you’re feeling lost in life.

We all need some alone time, but when solitude becomes a preference or even a necessity, it might be time to look at why.

It’s possible that you’re avoiding people because interacting with them reminds you of your own uncertainties or dissatisfaction.

This avoidance isn’t just limited to physical interactions.

You might find yourself withdrawing from social media, not wanting to see other people’s posts about their achievements or happy moments because it deepens your sense of feeling lost or left behind.

Reaching out to others is often the first step towards understanding and overcoming these feelings.

It’s okay to take time for yourself, but don’t let isolation become your comfort zone.

5) You’re living in the past or future

Living in the past or constantly worrying about the future is another telltale sign that you’re feeling lost.

When you’re content with where you are in life, you tend to live in the present.

You appreciate the here and now. But when you’re feeling lost, you might find yourself dwelling on past mistakes or decisions, wishing you could go back and change things.

Similarly, worrying excessively about the future is a sign that you’re not happy with your current situation.

You might be hoping for things to change or worrying about what’s to come, instead of focusing on what’s happening right now.

Psychologist William James put it well when he said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”

His observation was that our thoughts shape our reality, meaning that changing negative or limiting thoughts can change the course of our life​

Being mindful and present is key. It’s okay to learn from the past and plan for the future, but don’t let these thoughts rob you of enjoying your current moments.

6) You’re feeling stuck

Ever felt like you’re running on a treadmill, going through the motions but not really getting anywhere? That’s what feeling stuck in life often feels like.

You might be putting in all the effort, doing all the right things, but still feel like you’re not making any progress.

It can be frustrating and disheartening, making you feel even more lost.

Feeling stuck is often a sign that you’re not satisfied with where you are, but are unsure about how to change it.

You might be yearning for something different, something more, but don’t know where to start.

It’s okay to feel this way. Life is a journey, not a race.

And sometimes, feeling stuck is just life’s way of telling us that it’s time to pause, reassess, and maybe take a different path.

It’s not the end of the road, but perhaps the beginning of a new one.

7) You’re neglecting your health

There was a time when I would constantly skip meals, not because I wasn’t hungry, but because I was so consumed by my thoughts that I simply forgot to eat. My sleep schedule was erratic, and exercise was the last thing on my mind.

This neglect of physical health is often a sign that you’re feeling lost. When your mind is preoccupied with feelings of uncertainty or dissatisfaction, it’s easy to ignore your body’s needs.

You might find yourself skipping meals, sleeping less, or abandoning your exercise routine. On the flip side, you might be overeating or oversleeping as a way to escape or cope with your feelings.

It’s important to remember that physical health and mental well-being are closely linked.

Taking care of your body can often be the first step towards taking care of your mind.

8) You’re always seeking validation

If you’re constantly seeking approval from others or measuring your worth based on what others think of you, it might be a sign that you’re feeling lost.

We all like to be appreciated and valued. But when your self-esteem becomes heavily reliant on external validation, it usually means that you’re struggling to find your own worth.

You might find yourself constantly seeking reassurance, asking others for their opinions before making decisions, or feeling overly sensitive to criticism.

Author Nic Sheff captures this idea well: “As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are – what others say is irrelevant.”

The most important validation comes from within. It’s about recognizing your own value, independent of anyone else’s opinion.

It’s okay to seek advice or appreciate compliments, but don’t let others define your worth.

9) You’re not happy

At the end of the day, the most prominent sign that you’re feeling lost in life is a deep-rooted sense of unhappiness.

This isn’t about having a bad day or going through a temporary low phase.

It’s a persistent feeling of discontentment, a constant undercurrent of sadness or dissatisfaction no matter what you do.

It’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel unhappy and lost. It’s okay to not have all the answers.

Sometimes, acknowledging these feelings is the first step towards finding your path again.

Embrace the journey

Life, in all its complexities, is a journey filled with highs and lows, certainties and uncertainties.

Feeling lost is not a weakness or a failure. In fact, Carl R. Rogers, one of the most prominent psychologists of the 20th century, once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

Feeling lost is just a part of the human experience. It’s an indication that you’re introspective, self-aware, and most importantly, desiring growth.

It’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s okay to feel uncertain and to question your path. Sometimes, it’s in these moments of confusion that we truly find ourselves.

So if you’re feeling lost right now, take a breath, acknowledge your feelings, and remember that this too is a part of your journey. You’re not alone in this. And it’s okay to seek help – from friends, family, or even a mental health professional.

Feeling lost might be uncomfortable, but it could also be the start of an incredible journey towards self-discovery and personal growth. Embrace it.

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