9 signs you’re dealing with a truly difficult person, according to psychology

Some people are just hard to deal with. No matter what you say or do, they always seem to create tension, cause drama, or make life more complicated than it needs to be.
The tricky part is figuring out whether someone is just having a bad day or if they’re truly a difficult person. Psychology gives us some clear signs to look out for—patterns of behavior that go beyond occasional moodiness or stress.
When you know what to watch for, it becomes easier to handle these situations without getting caught up in negativity. Here are 9 signs that you’re dealing with a truly difficult person, according to psychology.
1) They always have to be right
Some people can’t stand the idea of being wrong. No matter the topic, no matter the evidence, they will argue their point until everyone else gives up.
Psychologists say this comes from a deep need for control and validation. Difficult people often see admitting they’re wrong as a weakness, so they’ll twist facts, shift blame, or even rewrite history just to protect their ego.
If you find yourself constantly walking on eggshells or avoiding certain topics just to keep the peace, you might be dealing with someone who always has to be right. And that can make any conversation exhausting.
2) They make everything about themselves
Have you ever had a conversation with someone who somehow turns everything back to themselves? No matter what you say, they find a way to shift the focus onto their own experiences, problems, or achievements.
I had a friend like this once. I remember telling them about a tough week I was having at work, hoping for some advice or at least a little sympathy. Instead, they immediately launched into a long story about how their job was even more stressful and how they had it much worse. By the time they finished talking, my situation didn’t even seem to matter anymore.
Psychologists call this self-centered behavior “conversational narcissism.” Difficult people often do this because they crave attention and validation. But over time, it can leave you feeling unheard and unimportant in the relationship.
3) They never take responsibility
Difficult people have a habit of dodging blame. If something goes wrong, it’s never their fault—it’s always because of someone else, bad luck, or circumstances beyond their control.
Psychologists call this a “self-serving bias.” Studies show that people who struggle with accountability tend to credit themselves for successes but blame external factors for failures. This protects their ego but makes it nearly impossible to have an honest conversation with them about mistakes or problems.
If you’re dealing with someone who refuses to take responsibility, don’t expect them to suddenly change. The best approach is to set clear boundaries and avoid getting caught up in their excuses.
4) They thrive on drama
Some people seem to create chaos wherever they go. If there isn’t a problem, they’ll find one—or worse, stir one up themselves.
Difficult people often thrive on drama because it keeps them at the center of attention. They might exaggerate situations, spread gossip, or pick unnecessary fights just to keep things interesting. Over time, this constant turmoil can leave you feeling emotionally drained.
Healthy relationships are built on trust and stability, not constant conflict. If someone in your life is always surrounded by drama, it might not be bad luck—it might be them.
5) They ignore boundaries
Boundaries are essential in any healthy relationship, but difficult people tend to disregard them completely. They might push past your limits, demand more of your time and energy than you’re willing to give, or make you feel guilty for saying no.
This kind of behavior often comes from a sense of entitlement—they believe their needs and wants should come before anyone else’s. Over time, this can leave you feeling overwhelmed, disrespected, and even resentful.
Setting firm boundaries is key when dealing with someone like this. If they refuse to respect them, that’s a clear sign they don’t value your well-being as much as they should.
6) They make you doubt yourself
Some people have a way of making you question your own thoughts, feelings, and even reality. They dismiss your concerns, downplay your achievements, or act like you’re overreacting when you express how you feel.
Over time, this kind of behavior can chip away at your confidence. You might start second-guessing yourself, wondering if you’re too sensitive or if you’re imagining things. But the truth is, no one should make you feel small for having emotions or standing up for yourself.
A healthy relationship—whether it’s a friendship, family connection, or partnership—should make you feel secure and valued. If someone constantly makes you doubt yourself, it’s not a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of their inability to respect and support you.
7) They drain your energy
Spending time with certain people can feel exhausting, even if you’re not doing anything physically tiring. It’s like no matter how much you try to be patient, supportive, or understanding, you always walk away feeling emotionally depleted.
Conversations feel one-sided. Every interaction feels like an obligation. And after a while, you start to notice that you’re dreading seeing them, even if you used to enjoy their company.
Relationships shouldn’t feel like a constant battle to keep up. If someone consistently takes more from you than they give, it’s okay to step back and protect your own energy. You don’t have to set yourself on fire just to keep someone else warm.
8) They hold grudges
Everyone gets hurt sometimes, but difficult people don’t just move on—they hold onto resentment like it’s fuel. Even after an issue has been discussed and resolved, they find ways to bring it back up, using it as a weapon in future arguments.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, but healthy relationships require some level of letting go. When someone constantly reminds you of past mistakes, it creates an environment where you feel like you’re always walking on thin ice.
A person who refuses to let go of grudges isn’t looking for resolution—they’re looking for control. And that kind of mindset makes it nearly impossible to have a healthy, balanced relationship.
9) They make you feel bad for being yourself
The most difficult people aren’t just hard to deal with—they make you feel like who you are isn’t enough. They criticize your choices, mock your interests, or make subtle comments that leave you questioning yourself. Over time, you start to shrink, adjusting parts of yourself just to avoid their judgment.
No one should have to change who they are just to be accepted. The right people will celebrate you, not tear you down. If someone in your life constantly makes you feel like you’re too much or not enough, the problem isn’t you—it’s them.