We all have a story. The one that defines us, shapes us, and sometimes confines us. But when you start owning it, something magical happens.

Owning your story is about accepting who you are – flaws, failures, and all. It’s about understanding that everything you’ve been through has shaped you into the person you are today.

Why does it matter? Because when you own your story, you reclaim your power. You stop letting others dictate your narrative and start writing your own script.

So, how can you tell if you’re starting to truly own your story? Here are 9 signs to look for.

1) Embracing your past

We all have a past, and it’s often filled with both triumphs and tribulations.

When you start owning your story, you stop running from or denying your past. Instead, you embrace it – the good, the bad, the ugly. You understand that what you’ve been through isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s simply a part of who you are.

Embracing your past means accepting that your experiences have shaped you. It’s understanding that your past failures aren’t indicative of future inability, but rather stepping stones on your journey.

If you find yourself looking at your past with acceptance rather than fear or shame, it’s a solid sign that you’re beginning to own your story. And that’s a beautiful thing. But remember, it’s important to not just dwell on the past but use it as a foundation for building a better future.

2) Shaping your own narrative

I’ve always been a bit of a people pleaser. I used to let the opinions and expectations of others dictate my actions. I found myself living a life that wasn’t authentic to who I truly was, but rather one that fit the narrative others had written for me.

But one day, I realized that I was living someone else’s story, not my own. It was then that I decided to take the pen back. I stopped letting others dictate my narrative and started shaping my own.

I began making decisions based on what was right for me, not what others expected of me. It wasn’t always easy, and it wasn’t always popular, but it was authentic.

When you start to shape your own narrative and live life on your terms, that’s a sure sign you’re beginning to own your story. You’re no longer a character in someone else’s book; you’re the author of your own.

3) Turning adversity into strength

The Japanese art of Kintsugi teaches us a valuable lesson about owning our story. When a ceramic piece breaks, instead of discarding it or hiding the cracks, they mend it with gold. The philosophy behind this is that the breakage and repair are part of the object’s history, not something to be disguised.

Similarly, when you own your story, you turn your adversities into strengths. You don’t hide your struggles or try to erase your mistakes. Instead, you see them as part of your journey, experiences that add to your character rather than detract from it.

You understand that each challenge you’ve faced has made you stronger, more resilient. And just like a Kintsugi piece, your “cracks” – your challenges and struggles – make you unique and more beautiful.

4) Taking responsibility for your life

Owning your story goes hand in hand with taking responsibility for your life. It’s about acknowledging that you’re the driver, not just a passenger on this journey.

Taking responsibility means recognizing that you have control over your actions, reactions, and attitudes. It’s about understanding that while you can’t control everything that happens to you, you can control how you respond.

If you find yourself actively making choices instead of just letting things happen to you, then congratulations! You’re beginning to own your story. It’s an empowering feeling knowing that you’re in control of your narrative, and it’s a significant step towards living an authentic life.

5) Recognizing your self-worth

Owning your story is a journey towards self-love and acceptance. It’s about recognizing your worth and understanding that you are enough, just as you are.

This means no longer seeking validation from outside sources, but rather finding it within yourself. It’s about embracing your strengths and acknowledging your weaknesses without self-judgment.

When you start realizing how valuable you are, not because of what you do or what you have, but simply because of who you are, that’s a clear sign you’re owning your story. And remember, self-worth comes from within – no one can give it to you or take it away from you.

6) Forgiving yourself and others

Owning your story often involves a chapter of forgiveness. It’s about letting go of grudges, bitterness, and regret that may have held you captive for years.

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing hurtful actions. Rather, it’s releasing the negative emotions tied to these experiences, allowing you to move forward in your story without being weighed down by the past.

But forgiveness isn’t just about others; it’s also about forgiving yourself. It’s about understanding that you’re human and you make mistakes. It’s accepting that these mistakes are opportunities for growth, not a life sentence.

When you start forgiving yourself and others, you’re not only owning your story but also freeing yourself from the chains of the past. It’s a heartfelt journey towards healing and growth.

7) Celebrating your victories, big and small

For a long time, I used to brush off my achievements. If someone complimented me, I’d downplay it. If I accomplished something, I’d immediately move on to the next thing without taking a moment to celebrate.

But then, I realized that by not celebrating my victories, I was undermining my own worth. I was sending myself a message that what I did wasn’t good enough or significant enough.

So, I started celebrating my victories, big and small. Whether it was finishing a difficult project at work or simply getting through a tough day, I began acknowledging and celebrating these moments.

When you start celebrating your victories instead of just focusing on your shortcomings or what’s next, it’s a sign that you’re owning your story. You’re acknowledging your growth, your efforts, and your worth, and that’s incredibly empowering.

8) Trusting your journey

Owning your story is about trusting your journey, even when the path isn’t clear. It’s about having faith in your ability to navigate through life’s ups and downs.

Trusting your journey means understanding that not everything needs to be planned out to the last detail. It’s about letting go of the need for control and embracing the uncertainty that comes with life.

When you start trusting your journey, you’re not only owning your story but also cultivating inner peace. You understand that every twist and turn, every detour and roadblock, is a part of your unique journey. And that’s something to be embraced, not feared.

9) Living authentically

At the heart of owning your story is living authentically. It’s about being true to who you are at your core, not who others expect you to be.

Living authentically means expressing your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. It’s about pursuing what truly brings you joy and fulfillment, even if it goes against societal norms or expectations.

When you start living authentically, not only are you owning your story, but you’re also honoring your true self. And that, my friend, is the most beautiful and empowering journey you can embark on.

Final thoughts: The power of owning your story

Owning your story is more than a self-discovery journey. It’s a powerful act of claiming your narrative, embracing your past, and shaping your future.

Brene Brown, a renowned research professor, once said, “When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.”

This encapsulates the essence of owning your story. It’s about understanding that you’re not defined by your past or other people’s perceptions of you. You are the sole author of your life.

Owning your story is an act of courage and authenticity. It’s about standing in your truth, acknowledging your journey with all its highs and lows, and recognizing that every experience has shaped you into who you are today.

So, as you move forward in your journey, remember this: Your story matters. You matter. And only when you truly own your story can you begin to live life on your terms. So here’s to owning our stories and embracing the beautiful mess that makes us uniquely us.