We all like to believe we’re good at judging character. But sometimes, a person isn’t as decent as they first seem.

The truth is, not every man has the best intentions—even if he hides it well. Some behaviors reveal a lot about someone’s true nature, and psychology helps us recognize the warning signs.

A man doesn’t have to be outright cruel to not be entirely good. Sometimes, the signs are subtle—but they’re there if you know what to look for.

Here are 9 signs that a man might not be as good-hearted as he appears.

1) He lacks empathy

One of the clearest signs that a man isn’t entirely good is a lack of empathy.

Empathy is what allows us to understand and care about how others feel. Without it, a person can be cold, dismissive, or even cruel—without guilt.

Psychologists often point out that people who lack empathy struggle to see things from another person’s perspective. They might brush off your feelings, make insensitive comments, or seem indifferent to the pain of others.

If a man consistently shows no concern for how his actions affect people, it’s a major red flag. Compassion is a key part of being a decent person, and without it, something important is missing.

2) He never takes responsibility for his actions

One thing I’ve learned the hard way is that a good man owns up to his mistakes. A not-so-good one? He always has an excuse.

I once had a friend who could never admit when he was wrong. If he showed up late, it was because traffic was terrible. If he forgot something important, it was because nobody reminded him. Even when he hurt someone’s feelings, he’d twist the situation to make it seem like it wasn’t his fault.

At first, I brushed it off. But over time, I realized this pattern of blaming others wasn’t just annoying—it was a sign of deeper irresponsibility. Psychologists say that people who never take responsibility often lack self-awareness and emotional maturity. And worse, they can make you feel like you’re the problem when they’re the ones refusing to change.

A man who can’t own up to his actions isn’t just frustrating—he’s showing you that accountability isn’t one of his values. And that’s a serious red flag.

3) He manipulates others to get his way

Some men don’t believe in open and honest communication. Instead, they rely on manipulation to control situations and people around them.

Manipulation can take many forms—guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or even playing the victim to gain sympathy. People who do this often know exactly what they’re doing, using subtle tactics to make others feel guilty or question their own judgment.

Research has shown that manipulation is a common trait in people with high levels of Machiavellianism, a personality trait associated with deceitfulness and a lack of morality. These individuals see relationships as a game of power and control rather than mutual respect and understanding.

The problem with manipulation is that it’s often hard to spot at first. But over time, if a man constantly twists situations to serve his own interests, it’s a sign that he doesn’t truly value honesty or fairness.

4) He treats people differently based on what they can do for him

A good man treats everyone with respect—no matter who they are. But a man who isn’t entirely good will only be kind when it benefits him.

You might notice that he’s charming and attentive around people he wants something from, like his boss or influential friends. But when it comes to those who can’t offer him anything—waiters, cashiers, or even close friends who are struggling—his attitude changes. He might be dismissive, rude, or completely uninterested.

This kind of behavior reveals a lot about someone’s true character. It shows that his kindness isn’t genuine—it’s transactional. And if he only values relationships based on what he can gain, that means he’s willing to drop people the moment they’re no longer useful to him.

5) He enjoys putting others down

Some men build themselves up by tearing others down. Whether it’s through sarcasm, cruel jokes, or constant criticism, they get a sense of power from making others feel small.

At first, it might seem harmless—maybe he teases people “just for fun” or claims he’s only being honest. But over time, the pattern becomes clear. He doesn’t just joke around; he targets people’s insecurities, undermines their confidence, and rarely has anything positive to say.

Psychologists say that this kind of behavior often comes from deep insecurity. Instead of working on their own self-worth, these men try to feel superior by making others feel inferior.

A man who enjoys putting others down isn’t just unpleasant to be around—he’s showing you that he lacks kindness and emotional maturity. And that’s not someone you want in your life.

6) He doesn’t care how his actions affect others

A truly good man thinks about how his words and actions impact the people around him. But a man who lacks basic decency? He only thinks about himself.

He’ll cancel plans at the last minute without considering how it affects you. He’ll say hurtful things and brush it off like it’s no big deal. He’ll make choices that create problems for others, but as long as he’s fine, he doesn’t see the issue.

Life isn’t just about looking out for yourself—it’s about being considerate of others. A man who doesn’t care how his actions make people feel is showing you exactly where his priorities lie. And unfortunately, they don’t include kindness, respect, or basic human decency.

7) He only apologizes to end the conversation

An apology is supposed to mean something. It’s supposed to show remorse, a willingness to change, and an understanding of how someone was hurt. But some men don’t apologize because they care—they do it just to move on.

They say “I’m sorry” without meaning it, just to shut down the conversation. They don’t acknowledge what they did wrong, and they certainly don’t make an effort to change. Instead, they act like the apology itself should be enough, as if simply saying the words erases the damage done.

Over time, this kind of behavior makes it clear: it’s not about making things right—it’s about avoiding responsibility. And when a man treats apologies like a way to escape accountability rather than a chance to grow, he’s showing you that he doesn’t really value the relationship… or your feelings.

8) He struggles to be happy for others

A good man celebrates the success of the people around him. But a man who isn’t entirely good? He sees other people’s wins as a threat.

Instead of being genuinely happy when someone gets a promotion, achieves a goal, or receives recognition, he downplays it—or worse, acts bitter about it. He might make sarcastic comments, point out flaws, or shift the focus back to himself.

This kind of behavior often comes from insecurity. Rather than feeling inspired or supportive, he sees life as a competition where someone else’s success means his own failure.

But relationships—whether friendships, family, or romantic—aren’t about competition. They’re about lifting each other up. If a man can’t celebrate the happiness and achievements of others, it’s a clear sign that something is missing in his character.

9) He lacks integrity when no one is watching

The truest test of a man’s character is how he acts when there’s nothing to gain and no one to impress.

Some men present themselves as kind, honest, and respectful—but only when people are watching. Behind closed doors, they cut corners, break promises, and do things they’d be ashamed to admit.

Integrity isn’t about appearances. It’s about doing the right thing even when no one will ever know. A man who lacks this—who lies when it’s convenient, bends the rules for his own benefit, or treats people differently when there’s no social pressure—is showing you exactly who he really is.