9 psychological traits to outsmart a controlling boss

Graeme Richards by Graeme Richards | March 24, 2024, 8:49 am

Navigating the workplace can be a challenging feat, especially when dealing with a controlling boss.

The difference between a regular boss and a controlling one often boils down to autonomy. A controlling boss tends to micromanage, undermining your ability to make decisions independently.

Outsmarting such a boss, however, doesn’t mean manipulation. Instead, it’s about understanding and adapting to certain psychological traits that can help maintain your sanity and productivity, without causing friction in the workplace.

Here’s the deal: I’m about to share nine psychological traits you can adopt to outsmart a controlling boss. Let’s dive into them, shall we?

1) Emotional intelligence

In any workplace, one of the key traits that can set you apart is emotional intelligence.

Understanding and managing your emotions, especially while dealing with a controlling boss, is not just critical but can also be a game-changer.

Emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ, is your ability to recognize, understand and manage your own emotions as well as those of others. It’s about being empathetic, self-aware and capable of navigating complex social interactions with grace.

Why does EQ matter when dealing with a controlling boss? Well, it allows you to stay calm under pressure, understand your boss’s behavior, and respond effectively rather than reactively.

Having high emotional intelligence means you’re less likely to be drawn into unnecessary conflict and more likely to maintain a balanced perspective, even when your boss is being overly controlling.

So, for handling a controlling boss with smarter moves, work on honing your emotional intelligence. Remember, it’s not manipulation; it’s about understanding and managing emotions effectively in the workplace.

2) Adaptability

In the corporate jungle, adaptability is a survival skill.

Allow me to share a personal experience. I once worked under a boss who would change project directions at the last minute. It was frustrating, to say the least. But instead of resisting, I chose to adapt.

I started anticipating possible changes and planned my work accordingly. This kept me prepared for sudden shifts and reduced the stress of abrupt changes. I also made it a point to communicate my concerns and solutions effectively, which helped me maintain a working relationship with my boss.

Adaptability doesn’t mean you have to compromise on everything. It’s about being flexible and resilient in your approach, which can significantly help when dealing with a controlling boss.

So, take it from me, being adaptable can truly help you outsmart a controlling boss and make your professional life a lot easier.

3) Assertiveness

Assertiveness is a critical psychological trait for dealing with a controlling boss. It’s about expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open and respectful manner.

In fact, research from the University of California, Berkeley, has highlighted that employees who practice assertive communication are more likely to be viewed as leaders.

Being assertive can help you establish boundaries with your boss without causing conflict. It allows you to communicate your needs and ideas effectively, and can also earn you respect in the process.

Assertiveness is not about being aggressive or confrontational; it’s about standing up for yourself while respecting the rights of others. So, if you want to outsmart a controlling boss, start practicing assertive communication.

4) Problem-solving

Dealing with a controlling boss often feels like you’re navigating a maze with hidden traps. That’s where your problem-solving skills come into play.

Problem-solving is all about identifying issues and determining the best ways to tackle them. It’s about being proactive rather than reactive, which can be particularly useful in handling a boss who tends to micromanage.

By showcasing your ability to solve problems efficiently, you not only prove your competency but also earn the trust of your boss. This can significantly reduce their need to control every aspect of your work.

So, start sharpening your problem-solving skills. And remember, every problem has a solution, it’s just a matter of finding it.

5) Patience

When dealing with a controlling boss, patience isn’t just a virtue, it’s a necessity.

A controlling boss can often push your buttons, making the workplace stressful. However, losing your cool can only make things worse.

Patience allows you to handle such situations calmly and thoughtfully. It gives you the ability to step back, assess the situation, and respond in a way that’s beneficial to both you and the work environment.

Remember, being patient doesn’t mean letting your boss walk all over you. It’s about maintaining your composure and acting strategically rather than reacting impulsively.

So, breathe deep, practice patience, and watch how it can help you handle a controlling boss more effectively.

6) Empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is more than just a trait. It’s a bridge that connects us to others on a deeper level.

In the context of a controlling boss, empathy can be a powerful tool. It enables you to understand why your boss behaves the way they do. Perhaps they’re under immense pressure from their superiors or maybe they’re dealing with issues outside of work.

By empathizing with them, you can see beyond their controlling nature and understand the person beneath. This understanding can help you communicate more effectively and handle their controlling behavior with more grace.

Remember, empathy is not about excusing negative behavior; it’s about understanding where it’s coming from. And sometimes, that understanding can make all the difference in the world.

7) Resilience

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs at us, and working under a controlling boss can definitely feel like one.

I’ve had my fair share of such experiences. There was a period when I was constantly doubting my abilities due to persistent micromanagement. It felt like I was always under scrutiny, which was incredibly draining.

But rather than letting it break me, I chose to let it shape me. I realized that resilience was my best defense.

Resilience is about bouncing back from adversity and maintaining your inner strength in the face of challenges. It’s about shifting your perspective to see these challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats.

In the context of a controlling boss, resilience can help you maintain your self-esteem and keep moving forward, no matter how tough things get.

So, remember, even when the going gets tough, you have the power to bounce back. That’s the power of resilience.

8) Positivity

Positivity is like a beacon of light in a stormy sea, especially when dealing with a controlling boss.

Maintaining a positive attitude can help you manage stress and foster a healthier work environment, even in challenging situations. It’s about focusing on solutions rather than problems, and seeing opportunities instead of obstacles.

A positive mindset can also influence how others perceive you. It can make you more approachable and can even inspire others to adopt a similar outlook.

Remember, positivity is not about ignoring the negatives; it’s about choosing to focus on the positives. So, let your positivity shine, and see how it can help you outsmart a controlling boss.

9) Self-confidence

At the core of dealing with a controlling boss, or any difficult situation for that matter, lies self-confidence.

Self-confidence is about believing in your abilities and knowing your worth. It empowers you to express your views, stand your ground, and handle criticism constructively.

A confident person is less likely to be undermined by a controlling boss because they know their value and are not afraid to show it.

So, believe in yourself. Trust your abilities. Your self-confidence can be your greatest ally when dealing with a controlling boss.

Final thoughts: It’s about growth

The complexity of human interactions, particularly in a professional setting, is often a reflection of our personal growth and adaptability.

A key element to remember when dealing with a controlling boss is the concept of ‘locus of control’. This psychological term refers to the extent to which individuals believe they can control events that affect them.

When you have an internal locus of control, you believe that you have the ability to influence your own life. This belief can be incredibly empowering when facing a controlling boss.

Remember, these traits we’ve discussed – emotional intelligence, adaptability, assertiveness, problem-solving, patience, empathy, resilience, positivity, and self-confidence – aren’t just about dealing with a controlling boss. They’re about your personal development and growth.

These traits can help transform challenges into opportunities for learning and growth.

So, as you navigate your professional journey, remember this: The ability to grow and adapt is within you. It’s not about outsmarting your boss; it’s about becoming the best version of yourself in any given situation.