9 habits extroverts have that introverts can’t stand, according to psychology

Graeme Richards by Graeme Richards | May 24, 2024, 6:17 am

As an introvert, I can tell you there’s a big difference between how we operate and how our extroverted counterparts do.

These differences can sometimes lead to friction. Extroverts have certain habits that, while well-meaning, can get under our skin.

Psychology has some thoughts on this. It has identified several habits that extroverts tend to have, which introverts just can’t stand.

Now, let me share with you these nine habits that just make us introverts want to retreat into our shells even further. And remember, it’s not personal – it’s just how we’re wired!

1) Constant socializing

As an introvert, constant socializing can feel like a marathon without a finish line.

Extroverts thrive on social interaction. They gain energy from being around people, and they love to engage in conversation. It’s their way of recharging their batteries.

But for introverts, it’s a different story. We prefer our solitude or the company of a few close friends. Constant socializing can drain our energy.

This doesn’t mean we’re antisocial or don’t enjoy the company of others. We just need more time to recharge after social events.

So, when extroverts drag us from one social event to another without giving us time to recharge, it can feel exhausting. According to psychology, this constant need for socializing is one of the habits introverts find hardest to deal with in extroverts.

But remember, it’s all about balance and understanding each other’s needs.

2) High-energy enthusiasm

I remember a time when I was at a work conference with my extroverted colleague, Jack.

Jack is a ball of energy – always talking, always moving, always full of enthusiasm. He bounces from one conversation to another, making jokes and keeping the energy high.

As an introvert, I find this exhausting. I prefer calm, thoughtful conversations, where I can take my time to think and respond.

Psychology explains that introverts process information differently from extroverts. We prefer to think before we speak, and high-energy environments can feel overwhelming.

So, while extroverts like Jack see their enthusiasm as a way to keep the mood light and fun, introverts like me often find it draining. We need a balance of energy levels to feel comfortable.

Again, it’s not a matter of right or wrong – just different ways of experiencing the world.

3) Need for immediate response

Extroverts often prefer immediate feedback. This could be because their brains process dopamine differently than introverts. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward and pleasure centers, and extroverts have been found to respond more strongly to it.

This need for immediate response can put pressure on introverts, who prefer to take their time, think things through, and then respond. When an extrovert expects an immediate reaction or decision, it can be quite stressful for an introvert.

Understanding this difference in processing can help both introverts and extroverts navigate their interactions more effectively. It’s all about understanding and respecting each other’s pace.

4) Love of spotlight

Extroverts are often comfortable being the center of attention. They enjoy telling stories, leading discussions, and capturing the room’s energy.

For introverts, this can be a bit overwhelming. We often prefer to listen rather than speak, to observe rather than perform.

When extroverts dominate the conversation or take over the spotlight, it can feel like there’s no space left for us. We might feel unheard or overshadowed.

Remember, it’s not that introverts never want to be in the spotlight. We just prefer to share it in a more balanced way.

5) Frequent interruptions

Extroverts tend to think out loud and love to share their ideas freely. This can sometimes lead to them interrupting others during conversations.

For introverts, who often need a bit more time to formulate their thoughts, these interruptions can be quite frustrating. It can make us feel like our ideas or contributions aren’t being valued.

Understanding this difference in communication style is crucial. It’s not that extroverts intentionally want to interrupt or dominate the conversation – they’re just excited to share their thoughts.

On the other hand, introverts need a bit more space and time to express themselves. It’s all about finding a balance and respecting each other’s communication style.

6) Difficulty understanding quiet time

For extroverts, silence often needs filling. They may see quiet moments as awkward pauses that need to be filled with chatter.

As an introvert, these quiet moments are treasured. They’re our time to reflect, recharge, and gather our thoughts.

When extroverts struggle to understand our need for quiet time, it can be frustrating and draining for us.

It’s not about being antisocial or disliking conversation. It’s about needing that balance of interaction and solitude to feel comfortable and at peace.

Understanding this need is key to building strong relationships between introverts and extroverts. So, give us our quiet time – it’s one of the ways we thrive!

7) Discomfort with deep conversations

I remember a time when I wanted to discuss a book I had read, which had deeply affected me. I wanted to talk about the themes, the underlying messages, and how it made me feel.

But my extroverted friend seemed uncomfortable with the depth of the conversation. She quickly changed the subject to lighter, more surface-level topics.

This is something introverts often struggle with. We love deep conversations, discussions that go beyond the surface level.

But extroverts often prefer lighter, more varied topics. They enjoy quick exchanges and playful banter.

This difference can cause misunderstandings and frustration. It’s important to remember that it’s not about one being better than the other – it’s about understanding and respecting our different preferences.

8) Over-sharing

Extroverts often express their thoughts and emotions openly. They are comfortable sharing personal experiences and feelings, even with people they’ve just met.

Introverts, on the other hand, tend to be more private. We’re more selective about who we share our personal lives with and prefer to build trust over time.

When extroverts overshare, it can make introverts uncomfortable. It’s not that we don’t care or aren’t interested — we just value privacy and discretion.

Respecting these boundaries is important for maintaining a balanced relationship between introverts and extroverts. After all, trust is built over time, not in an instant.

9) Lack of alone time

Extroverts gain energy from being around others. They love group activities and social events.

For introverts, however, alone time is essential. It’s how we recharge our batteries, process our thoughts, and regain our energy.

When extroverts don’t understand this need for solitude, it can lead to misunderstandings and frustration.

So, the most important thing to remember is that introverts need their alone time. It’s not a personal rejection or a sign of unhappiness — it’s just how we function best.

Final thoughts: Embracing differences

The beauty of human interaction lies in our differences. Introverts and extroverts perceive and react to the world in distinct ways, each with its unique advantages and challenges.

Psychologist Carl Jung, who popularized the terms introvert and extrovert, believed that these different orientations towards the world are not only normal but necessary.

In his words, “There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum.”

The key is to understand these differences and leverage them constructively. As introverts, understanding these nine habits of extroverts can help us better navigate social interactions, manage expectations, and express our needs.

And for extroverts, understanding these points can open pathways to deeper connections with their introverted friends, colleagues, or family members.

At the end of the day, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, it all boils down to mutual understanding, respect, and appreciation of our unique ways of being.