There’s a significant difference between wanting to be a better person and actually becoming one.

The difference boils down to action. Wanting to be better is a noble intention, but it’s only when you actively work to drop harmful behaviors that you truly evolve.

Becoming a better person means making conscious choices that contribute to your growth and the well-being of others around you. And believe it or not, there are certain behaviors that can be a hindrance to this.

Here, I’ve chalked out 9 such behaviors that you might want to rethink if your goal is personal improvement.

1) Blaming others

An all-too-common behavior many of us are guilty of is blaming others.

It’s human nature to point fingers when things don’t go as planned. It’s easier to pass the buck than to confront our own shortcomings.

Welcome to the concept of personal accountability.

Personal accountability is a cornerstone of growth and an essential part of becoming a better person. It’s about taking ownership of our actions, our decisions, and their consequences.

Think about it. It’s the idea behind every self-help book and motivational speech.

When we face a setback, it’s often easier to blame someone else, or even fate, rather than admitting that we could have done something differently.

So if you’re keen on becoming a better person, it’s time to drop the blame game and take responsibility for your actions.

2) Negative self-talk

Another behavior that’s often overlooked is negative self-talk.

This is something I personally struggled with for a long time. I’d find my mind filled with constant chatter of “I’m not good enough,” or “I can’t do this.”

Welcome to the harsh reality of self-deprecation.

Negative self-talk is insidious. It creeps into our thoughts, undermining our confidence and stopping us from taking risks that could lead to growth.

Think about it. It’s like a constant critic in your head, always ready to point out your flaws and failures.

In my case, it took me a while to realize how much this behavior was affecting my self-esteem and overall outlook on life. I had to consciously work on changing my thought patterns and replace the negative narrative with a positive one.

If you’re serious about becoming a better person, it’s essential to address negative self-talk.

3) Procrastination

Procrastination is a behavior that many of us fall victim to, often without even realizing it.

It’s the act of delaying or postponing tasks that need to be accomplished. It’s a habit of putting off important tasks, despite knowing they need to be done.

Welcome to the world of time mismanagement.

Procrastination can lead to a range of negative effects, such as stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of productivity, and even dissatisfaction with oneself.

It’s crucial to tackle procrastination head-on if you really want to become a better person.

4) Not listening

A common behavior that often goes unnoticed is not truly listening when others talk.

In today’s fast-paced world, we’re often so caught up in our own thoughts and agendas that we forget to pay attention to what others are saying.

Welcome to the art of active listening.

Active listening is about more than just hearing words. It involves understanding, responding, and then recalling what’s been said.

When we fail to listen, we not only miss out on important information but also on the opportunity to understand others better and build stronger relationships.

So, if you’re determined to become a better person, it’s time to work on your listening skills.

5) Being judgmental

One behavior that most of us are guilty of, consciously or subconsciously, is being judgmental.

We often form opinions about others based on our own biases and perceptions, without giving them a fair chance to represent themselves.

Welcome to the realm of unconditional acceptance.

Unconditional acceptance means taking people as they are, without trying to change them or pass judgement on their choices and lifestyle.

When we judge others, we not only limit our understanding of them but also create a negative environment that hinders growth and understanding.

So if you’re looking to become a better person, it’s time to let go of your judgments.

6) Holding onto grudges

A behavior that weighs heavily on our hearts and minds is holding onto grudges.

We’ve all been hurt or betrayed by someone at some point in our lives. The pain can be deep, and it’s natural to feel anger and resentment.

Welcome to the healing power of forgiveness.

Forgiving isn’t about forgetting or saying that what happened was okay. It’s about letting go of the resentment and anger that holds you back and clouds your heart with negativity.

When we hold onto grudges, we’re the ones who suffer most. We carry around a burden that affects our happiness, health, and overall well-being.

Letting go of old grudges is essential if you really want to become a better person.

Remember, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It frees you from the past and opens up space for peace, happiness, and new beginnings.

7) Avoiding difficult conversations

Avoiding difficult conversations is a common behavior many of us engage in.

I’ve been there too. It might be the fear of confrontation, the worry of hurting someone’s feelings, or simply not knowing how to approach a sensitive topic.

Welcome to the necessity of open communication.

Open communication is about expressing your thoughts and feelings honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable or difficult. It’s about being brave enough to address issues that need attention.

When we avoid difficult conversations, we often leave issues unresolved. This can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and can even damage relationships.

So if aiming to be a better person is your goal, it’s time to start having those difficult conversations.

8) Constant complaining

One behavior that can be draining, both for ourselves and for those around us, is constant complaining.

Complaining is easy. When things don’t go our way, it’s natural to vent our frustrations and express our dissatisfaction.

Welcome to the power of positive thinking.

Positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring life’s problems. It means approaching these problems with a more positive and productive mindset.

When we engage in constant complaining, we’re focusing on what’s wrong rather than looking for solutions or seeking out the good.

If you’re striving to become a better person, it’s time to curb the complaining.

9) Neglecting self-care

A behavior that’s often overlooked when trying to become a better person is neglecting self-care.

Self-care isn’t just about pampering yourself. It’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. It’s about giving yourself the same kindness and care that you give to others.

When we neglect self-care, we’re not at our best. We’re more likely to feel stressed, burnt out, and less capable of handling life’s challenges.

If you want to become a better person, remember that it starts with you. Make self-care a priority.