There’s a fine line between being someone people merely tolerate and someone they genuinely enjoy.

It’s all about behavior – our actions determine how others perceive us. And guess what? There’s a science to it.

According to psychology, there are specific behaviors that can instantly make you likable. And I bet we’d all prefer to be on the right side of that equation.

In this article, I’ll share with you 9 behaviors that can make you instantly likable.

Get ready to learn some new tricks that will make you the most popular person in the room. 

1) Genuine interest

Where there’s likability, there’s often genuine interest.

In the realm of psychology, it’s well-known that showing genuine interest towards others is a surefire way to win them over. That’s because we’re all wired to appreciate and gravitate towards those who show us attention and care.

Ever been to a party where you barely knew anyone, but there was that one person who asked you about your interests, listened to your stories, and made you feel seen? Well, chances are, you liked that person straight away!

If you want to make yourself instantly likable, strive to show genuine interest in others. Ask about their day, their interests, their aspirations. And most importantly, listen.

But remember authenticity is key here. Fake interest is easily detectable and can have the opposite effect. To avoid coming off as insincere, ensure your interest is genuine and heartfelt.

2) Positive energy

Next up, positive energy. This is one I’ve personally experienced the power of.

In my early twenties, I met a guy named Derek at a networking event. He wasn’t the wealthiest, most successful, or even the most eloquent person in the room. But he was the most likable. Why? Because of his infectious positive energy.

Derek was always smiling, always optimistic, and always ready to see the bright side of any situation. Being around him was like basking in a ray of sunshine. His positivity made people feel good about themselves and about their lives.

Psychology backs this up. People are naturally drawn towards positivity. We gravitate towards those who make us feel good, who uplift us, and who inspire us with their positive outlook on life.

If you want to be instantly likable, work on radiating positivity. A sunny disposition can be your ticket to winning hearts!

3) Empathy

Have you ever shared a problem with someone and they responded with a simple, “I understand how you feel”? It’s comforting, right? That is the power of empathy at play.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a potent tool in human relations. It allows us to form deep, meaningful connections with others, making us instantly more likable.

According to research conducted at the University of Virginia, when we empathize with someone, our brains actually mirror their pain. This physiological response helps us better understand their experience and respond in a kind and caring manner.

If you aim to be more likable, try to be more empathetic. Show others that you can feel their pain and joy. It will not only make you more likable but also foster stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

4) Humility

In our achievement-oriented society, it’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly showcasing our accomplishments. But nothing makes someone more likable than a healthy dose of humility.

Being humble doesn’t mean downplaying your achievements or pretending you’re less than you are. It’s about acknowledging your strengths while also recognizing your weaknesses and the contributions of others.

If you’ve ever met someone who’s humble despite their success, you’ll know just how magnetic this trait can be. People appreciate humility because it’s refreshing in a world full of self-promotion.

5) Active listening

We’ve all been in a conversation where we could tell the other person was just waiting for their turn to speak. It doesn’t make you feel valued or heard, does it?

Active listening, on the other hand, is a powerful way to show respect and make others feel important. It involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively hearing the speaker.

When you actively listen, you give responses that show understanding and ask questions that prove you’re engaged. It shows the other person that you value their thoughts and opinions.

If you want to be more likable, try improving your active listening skills. You’ll not only make others feel important, but you’ll also learn a lot in the process.

6) Kindness

Kindness is a universal language. It transcends all barriers, be it language, culture, or even age. A simple act of kindness can brighten up someone’s day, and more importantly, make you incredibly likable.

In a world that often seems consumed by negativity and cruelty, kindness stands out like a beacon. It’s a reminder of our shared humanity and our capacity to love and care for each other.

Being kind doesn’t have to involve grand gestures. It could be as simple as holding the door open for someone, giving a sincere compliment, or just lending a listening ear when someone needs to vent.

If you’re aiming to be more likable, let kindness be your guiding light.

People may not remember what you said or did, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel. And kindness always leaves a warm, lasting impression.

7) Authenticity

In a world full of curated social media profiles and constant comparisons, being your true self can often feel daunting. But authenticity holds an irresistible charm.

I remember when I first began my career, I tried to fit into a certain mold I thought was expected of me. Soon, I realized it wasn’t working. People could tell I wasn’t being genuine.

The moment I embraced my true self – quirks, flaws, and all – things changed. I started forming deeper connections, and people were drawn to my authenticity.

Authenticity shows courage and self-acceptance, traits that are deeply admired. 

If you want to be instantly likable, don’t hide or change who you are. Embrace your uniqueness and let your true self shine through. People are most likely to be drawn to the real you.

8) Good manners

Good manners never go out of style. They show respect, consideration, and politeness, traits that are highly valued in any interaction.

Whether it’s saying “please” and “thank you,” not interrupting when someone else is speaking, or simply showing up on time for an appointment, good manners can go a long way in making you likable.

So if you want to be instantly likable, brush up on your etiquette. The respect and consideration you show others through your manners will make them feel valued and appreciated, enhancing your likability.

9) Consistency

Finally, the most important thing to remember is consistency. All the behaviors listed above won’t make much difference if they’re not consistent.

Being genuine, positive, empathetic, humble, a good listener, kind, authentic, and well-mannered sporadically won’t do the trick. These behaviors need to be a part of who you are, demonstrated consistently across all your interactions.

Consistency builds trust and shows people that you’re reliable and true to your word. It’s the glue that holds all the other likability traits together. So if you want to be instantly likable, strive for consistency in your actions and behaviors.

The psychology of likability

Peering into the depths of human behavior, there’s an undeniable link between our actions and how we are perceived. The concept of likability is not some arbitrary notion but deeply rooted in psychology.

The behaviors we’ve discussed – demonstrating genuine interest, radiating positive energy, showing empathy, embracing humility, practicing active listening, being kind, being authentic, displaying good manners, and maintaining consistency – are all grounded in psychological principles that govern human interactions.

These behaviors are more than just actions; they’re reflections of our character. They send signals about who we are as individuals and how we perceive and interact with the world around us.

Likability is not a superficial trait. It’s the manifestation of our inner selves, the resonance of our character and values.

As we navigate our relationships and interactions, let’s remember this: Being likable isn’t about putting on a show or pretending to be someone else. It’s about being genuine, consistently demonstrating respect for others, and treating them with kindness.

It’s about being the best version of ourselves. Because at the end of the day, people will forget what you said or did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.