9 behaviors of women who are outwardly successful but struggle to find true happiness

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | March 20, 2025, 6:25 am

There’s a stark contrast between seeming successful and truly feeling happy. This discrepancy often emerges in the behaviors of women who, to the outside world, appear to have it all, but internally, grapple with happiness.

This struggle isn’t about not having the best job or a loving family; it’s about an internal battle with self-contentment and peace.

These women often exhibit certain behaviors – patterns of actions that act as telltale signs of their internal turmoil. And I can share these with you, not to judge or criticize, but to help you understand and perhaps identify if you or someone you know is walking down a similar path.

So, let’s delve into these 9 behaviors of outwardly successful women who are inwardly struggling to find true happiness.

1) Perfectionism

We all strive for excellence, but there’s a fine line between aiming for the best and falling into the trap of perfectionism.

Women who appear successful from the outside often grapple with this issue. They set incredibly high standards for themselves, often unrealistic, pushing themselves relentlessly to achieve them.

This constant chase for perfection, while it may result in impressive outward accomplishments, can internally lead to constant dissatisfaction and unhappiness. The feeling that nothing is ever good enough can be draining and ultimately rob them of joy.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong in aiming high. But when the pursuit of perfection starts to overshadow your happiness and mental peace, it may be time to reassess your priorities.

The key here is finding balance. Excellence is commendable, but not at the expense of personal contentment and peace.

2) Neglecting Self-Care

I’ve seen it happen time and time again, and I’ve been guilty of it too. We women often put everyone else’s needs before our own, believing that this is what makes us strong and successful.

I remember a period in my life when work was all-consuming. I was climbing the corporate ladder, hitting targets, and making a name for myself. To the outside world, I was ticking all the boxes of success.

But then, I realized I barely recognized myself in the mirror. I was constantly tired, my skin looked dull from lack of sleep and proper nutrition, and I had no time for things I loved like painting or hiking.

That’s when it hit me – I was neglecting self-care in pursuit of success.

It’s a common behavior among outwardly successful women who are struggling to find true happiness. They often forget that self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. And no amount of external success can compensate for the care and attention that your mind and body need.

To be truly happy, we need to prioritize our well-being and remember that it’s okay to take time for ourselves.

3) Fear of Saying No

Many outwardly successful women often find themselves saying yes to every request or opportunity that comes their way. They take on more responsibilities, more projects, more roles- often at the expense of their own peace and happiness.

What’s interesting is that research points to a biological reason for this. Studies suggest that women are naturally more inclined to be people-pleasers due to the hormone oxytocin, which promotes bonding and social interaction.

But this fear of saying no can lead to overload and burnout, leaving little room for personal pursuits or relaxation. It’s crucial to learn the art of saying no and setting boundaries if one wants to find true happiness. Remember, it’s not just about how much you achieve, but also about maintaining balance in your life.

4) Comparing Themselves to Others

In the age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing oneself with others. Successful women are not immune to this. They often measure their worth against others’ achievements, lifestyles, or appearances.

This constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness, despite their own accomplishments. It’s important to remember that each person’s journey is unique, and success is not a one-size-fits-all concept.

True happiness comes from appreciating your own progress and achievements, and not comparing your chapter two with someone else’s chapter ten. Embrace your own journey and remember that success is personal and subjective.

5) Ignoring Emotional Health

Successful women often focus so much on their professional and personal goals that they neglect their emotional health. They might suppress their feelings, putting on a brave face for the world, while internally struggling with stress, anxiety, or loneliness.

Ignoring one’s emotional health can lead to a host of problems down the line, including chronic stress, burnout, and even physical health issues. It’s important to acknowledge and address your feelings, seek support when needed, and take steps to maintain your mental well-being.

Remember that it’s okay not to be okay all the time. Your emotions are valid, and taking care of your emotional health is a crucial part of finding true happiness.

6) Feeling Guilty for Success

Believe it or not, guilt can often accompany success. Many women, even after achieving great heights, struggle with a sense of guilt. They may feel undeserving of their success or worry about surpassing peers or loved ones.

This guilt can rob them of their happiness, leaving them unable to celebrate their accomplishments fully. It’s a heartbreaking reality that many successful women face, carrying this weight quietly behind their confident smiles.

If you find yourself in this situation, remember that your success is well-deserved. It’s a testament to your hard work, talent, and perseverance. You’ve earned every bit of it. Don’t let guilt steal your joy. Instead, use your achievements as a platform to inspire and uplift others. True happiness lies in embracing your success and using it to make a positive impact.

7) Overcommitting

The calendar is full, the to-do list keeps growing, and there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day. This is a reality I’ve experienced all too often. Taking on more than one can handle is a common behavior among successful women.

Overcommitment can stem from a desire to prove oneself or fear of missing out on opportunities. But all it does is leave one feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and perpetually behind schedule.

It’s crucial to learn to prioritize tasks, delegate when possible, and understand that it’s okay not to do it all. Managing commitments effectively can alleviate stress and leave room for activities that bring joy and relaxation, contributing significantly to one’s overall happiness.

8) Neglecting Relationships

In the quest for success, relationships often take a backseat. Many successful women find themselves so caught up in their professional lives that they unintentionally neglect their personal relationships.

Be it family, friends, or romantic partners, maintaining healthy relationships is crucial for happiness. These connections provide emotional support, shared experiences, and a sense of belonging, all of which contribute to one’s well-being.

If professional commitments are constantly taking precedence over personal ones, it might be time to reassess. Remember, success is not just about career accomplishments; it’s also about nurturing meaningful relationships that enrich our lives and bring us joy.

9) Forgetting to Celebrate Small Wins

In the pursuit of big goals, it’s easy to overlook the small victories along the way. Many successful women are so focused on the end game that they forget to celebrate the little milestones that lead to it.

Every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. And each deserves recognition and celebration. These moments of acknowledgement serve as reminders of your journey, your growth, and your resilience.

So, take time to celebrate your small wins. They are significant, they matter, and they are steps towards your ultimate goal and true happiness.