There’s a stark contrast between having a close-knit friend circle outside of work and having none at all.

This difference often boils down to certain behaviors. People who don’t have friends beyond their professional circles might not even realize what they’re doing, or not doing, that’s keeping them from forming personal relationships.

Psychology can shed some light on these patterns. It helps us understand how certain habits can hinder our ability to build friendships outside the office.

Here are nine behaviors that might be standing in your way. 

1) They keep a strict boundary between professional and personal life

Everyone’s heard about the importance of work-life balance. But for some individuals, the scales tip heavily towards the ‘work’ side.

They maintain a rigid distinction between their professional and personal lives. This might seem like a good strategy for avoiding workplace drama, but it can also prevent them from forming close friendships outside of work.

Psychologically speaking, this is often because they see their colleagues primarily as business associates, not potential friends. They might even fear that personal relationships could complicate their professional ones.

But here’s the thing: friendships aren’t just nice to have; they’re essential for our emotional health. So if you find yourself falling into this pattern, it’s worth taking a step back and re-evaluating.

After all, there’s no rule saying you can’t mix business with pleasure in a healthy and respectful way.

2) They avoid after-work social events

We’ve all been there. It’s Friday evening, and your colleagues are heading to the local pub for a casual get-together. But instead of joining them, you decide to head straight home.

I remember a time when I would consistently skip these after-work socials. My excuse? I was simply too tired, or I had other plans. But in reality, I was sidelining myself from potential friendships outside of work.

This behavior is common among people who struggle to form close relationships outside their professional circles. They may see after-work events as an extension of their workday and prefer to spend their free time in solitude or with existing friends and family.

However, it’s during these informal gatherings where connections deepen and friendships form. So if this sounds like you, it might be time to reconsider your stance on after-work social events. You never know who you might bond with over a shared love for karaoke or pub trivia!

3) They have a fear of rejection

Believe it or not, the fear of rejection doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships; it can also affect our friendships.

This fear can be so powerful that it prevents some individuals from forming close relationships outside of work. They might avoid reaching out to colleagues for social activities, worried that their invitation might be turned down.

This fear of rejection is often rooted in an individual’s self-worth being contingent on other people’s opinions.

It’s crucial to remember that everyone experiences rejection at some point, and it’s a normal part of life. It does not define your worth or your ability to form meaningful relationships. Overcoming this fear can open the door to new friendships and enrich your social life outside of work.

4) They hardly share personal information

There’s a certain level of comfort and trust involved in sharing personal details about our lives. For some, this comes easily, but for others, it can be a significant hurdle.

Individuals who struggle to form close friendships outside of work often keep their personal lives tucked away. They might engage in conversations about work-related projects or industry news, but rarely share details about their hobbies, families, or personal experiences.

This reluctance to open up can make it difficult for colleagues to see them as anything other than work associates. Forming close friendships often requires us to let our guard down and allow others to see our authentic selves.

When you’re in a conversation with a colleague, consider sharing a little more about your life outside of work. You might find common ground or shared interests that could lay the foundation for a deeper friendship.

5) They are always busy

Being busy isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can mean you’re engaged, productive, and driven. However, when your calendar is consistently packed with only work-related tasks, it can hinder your ability to form close friendships outside of work.

People who find themselves in this situation often feel like they just don’t have the time to nurture relationships outside the office. After all, between meetings, projects, and deadlines, when is there time for anything else?

But here’s the catch: friendships need time to grow. They require shared experiences, conversations, and mutual support. If you’re always too busy for these things, it’s likely you’ll struggle to form strong bonds outside your professional life.

It might be time to reassess your commitments and priorities. Remember, it’s not just about making time for others but also creating space for your emotional well-being.

6) They struggle with vulnerability

Opening up to others can be a daunting task. It involves showing our true selves, complete with our strengths, weaknesses, triumphs, and failures.

Many people who have difficulty forming close friendships outside of work often struggle with vulnerability. They fear that showing their true selves might lead to judgment or rejection. So they put up a facade, keeping their work persona on even after office hours.

But here’s something beautifully human about us: we connect through our shared experiences – our joys, our sorrows, our challenges, and our victories. It’s through vulnerability that we form the deepest and most meaningful bonds.

The journey towards vulnerability isn’t easy. It requires courage, self-acceptance, and a leap of faith. But the relationships you can form along the way are worth every bit of it. When you open yourself up to others, you open the door to genuine friendships that extend beyond the confines of the office.

7) They lean towards being a workaholic

It’s easy to get swept up in the hustle and bustle of work. Deadlines to meet, targets to hit, promotions to chase – it can all be overwhelmingly consuming.

I remember a period when I was so engrossed in my work that I barely had time for anything else. My days were filled with tasks, meetings, and constant emails. I found myself thinking about work even during my off-hours.

This tendency towards workaholism can be a significant barrier to forming friendships outside work. When work takes up most of our time and mental space, there’s little left for socializing or nurturing personal relationships.

It’s crucial to remember that while professional success is important, it shouldn’t come at the cost of personal relationships or your overall well-being. Striking a balance is key. And sometimes, that might mean leaving the office behind for a while and investing time in the people around you.

8) They lack good communication skills

Communication is at the heart of every relationship. Without it, misunderstandings arise, connections weaken, and friendships struggle to form.

Individuals who find it hard to form close friendships outside of work often lack effective communication skills. They might struggle to articulate their thoughts clearly, or maybe they’re not great listeners.

Good communication involves more than just talking; it’s about active listening, showing empathy, and understanding non-verbal cues. It’s also about being open to feedback and willing to engage in difficult conversations.

Improving your communication skills not only enhances your professional life but can pave the way for deeper, more meaningful friendships outside of work. So whether it’s taking a course, reading a book, or simply practicing mindful conversation, investing in your communication skills is always a good idea.

9) They do not prioritize relationships

At the end of the day, forming close friendships outside of work requires effort and intention. It involves going out of our way to connect, understand, and support the people around us.

Those who struggle to form these bonds often do not prioritize relationships in their lives. They might see them as secondary to their work, optional extras instead of critical components of their wellbeing.

But here’s the truth: relationships are vital. They provide us with support, joy, and a sense of belonging. They enrich our lives in countless ways and contribute significantly to our mental and emotional health.

So if there’s one thing to take away, it’s this: prioritize relationships. Value them, nurture them, and invest in them. Because no amount of professional success can replace the fulfillment that comes from meaningful, personal connections.