There’s a huge difference between being happy and just pretending to be.

The difference boils down to habits. Bad habits can create a facade of happiness, while hiding the truth beneath.

Happy people, according psychologists, avoid certain habits that can drag them down. They choose to steer clear of these pitfalls, ensuring their happiness stays genuine and long-lasting.

Avoiding these bad habits isn’t about putting on a show. It’s about making the right choices for your mental well-being.

And believe me, there are certain habits that can significantly cloud your happiness.

Let me share with you the 9 bad habits happy people avoid, according to psychology.

1) Overthinking

There’s a thin line between careful consideration and overthinking.

Happy people are well-aware of this distinction. They understand that overthinking leads to stress, anxiety and often results in making mountains out of molehills.

Let’s face it, life is full of decisions. Some are straightforward, others… not so much. When faced with difficult choices, it’s natural to think things through. But there’s a catch.

Overthinkers don’t just think, they obsess. They dwell on problems, second-guess their choices and imagine worst-case scenarios. This habit not only steals the joy from the present moment, but it also fails to bring any concrete solutions.

Happy people, according to psychology, avoid this trap. They know that overthinking gets them nowhere.

Instead, they trust their instincts, make the best decision they can with the information available, and then move on.

It’s a habit, not a personality trait. And habits can be changed.

2) Holding onto grudges

Once upon a time, I had a knack for holding onto grudges. If someone wronged me, I would hold onto that resentment like it was a precious jewel. But let me tell you, it’s a habit that gets heavy real fast.

Psychologists tell us that happy people tend to avoid holding onto grudges. Why? Because it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. The only person it hurts is you.

I remember this one time when I had a major fallout with a close friend. We didn’t speak for months. Every time I thought about her, I felt this surge of anger and betrayal. It was exhausting.

Then one day, I decided to let it go. Not because she deserved forgiveness, but because I deserved peace. And you know what? It was liberating.

From that day forward, I realized how holding onto grudges had been weighing me down.

Now, whenever someone hurts or upsets me, I address it directly or choose to forgive and move on. It’s not always easy, but it’s so much healthier.

Happy people understand this. They choose to forgive, not for the other person, but for themselves.

So if you’re seeking happiness, consider letting go of those grudges you’ve been holding onto.

3) Neglecting self-care

In an era where being busy is often seen as a badge of honor, it’s easy to put self-care on the back burner. However, happy people understand the importance of taking care of themselves.

Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about ensuring we’re taking care of our physical, emotional and mental well-being. It’s about knowing when to take a break, when to say no and most importantly, when to prioritize our own needs.

If you’re constantly pushing yourself without taking time to relax and rejuvenate, you’re not doing yourself any favors.

Happy people understand this. They make self-care a priority because they know that they can’t pour from an empty cup.

So if you want to join the ranks of the truly content, start prioritizing self-care.

4) Comparing themselves to others

We live in a world where everyone’s life is on display, courtesy of social media. It’s easy to scroll through your feed and feel like everyone else is living a perfect life. But happy people know better.

Comparing yourself to others is a one-way street to dissatisfaction. There will always be someone who seems to have more – more success, more money, bigger house, better looks. But the truth is, you’re only seeing a highlight reel.

Happy people understand this. Instead of comparing themselves to others, they focus on their own journey.

They measure their progress by how far they’ve come, not by how they stack up against others.

If you want to be happier, stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on your own goals, your own growth, and your own happiness.

After all, the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.

5) Ignoring their passions

Life is too short to be stuck in a job you hate or to ignore the things that light your fire. Happy people get this. They make time for their passions and they prioritize doing things they love.

Sure, we all have responsibilities and sometimes we need to do things we don’t particularly enjoy.

But that doesn’t mean we should completely ignore the things that make us feel alive.

Happy people carve out time in their schedule for their passions.

Whether it’s painting, hiking, playing an instrument, or gardening, they understand that these activities are not just hobbies – they’re a vital part of their well-being.

Make time for your passions. Not only will you enjoy the activity itself, but you’ll also find that it recharges you for the other parts of your life.

6) Living in the past or future

Our minds have a knack for wandering. Sometimes they take us down memory lane, causing us to linger over regrets or past mistakes.

Other times, they transport us into the future, creating anxiety over events that haven’t even happened.

Happy people, however, understand the value of staying present.

Living in the past or future robs us of enjoying the here and now. It’s hard to appreciate today’s joys if you’re stuck replaying yesterday’s sorrows or fretting over tomorrow’s problems.

Happy people make a conscious effort to stay present. They savor the moment, whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee, laughing with friends, or simply watching a sunset.

They realize that life is happening right now and choose to fully participate in it.

So if happiness is your goal, try focusing on the present moment. It might not always be easy, but it is where life truly exists.

7) Avoiding difficult conversations

I’ve always been a peacekeeper. The thought of conflict used to make me feel queasy, so I’d often avoid difficult conversations. But I found out the hard way that this habit was doing more harm than good.

Happy people don’t shy away from tough discussions. They understand that having the courage to express their feelings or address issues head-on is a vital part of maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being.

I remember a time when I had a misunderstanding with a loved one. Instead of addressing the issue, I let it fester, hoping it would just disappear. It didn’t, and the tension grew until it became unbearable.

When I finally mustered the courage to have that uncomfortable conversation, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. We cleared the air, and our relationship grew stronger because of it.

Happy people get this. They know that avoiding difficult conversations only leads to more stress and unresolved issues.

8) Neglecting personal growth

We’re all works in progress. We have the capacity to learn, grow, and become better versions of ourselves. Happy people embrace this journey of personal growth.

They understand that stagnation doesn’t lead to happiness. It’s human nature to want to develop, to stretch our abilities and learn new things. That’s why happy people make personal growth a priority.

They read books, attend seminars, take on new challenges and seek feedback. They view mistakes as opportunities to learn rather than failures. They’re not afraid of change but welcome it as a chance for growth.

Embrace the journey of becoming the best version of yourself. Because true happiness often lies in the person we become along the way.

9) Surrounding themselves with negativity

You’ve probably heard the saying, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” There’s a lot of truth to this. Happy people are careful about who they let into their circle.

They understand that negativity is contagious. If you’re constantly surrounded by pessimistic people who complain, criticize, and see the worst in everything, it’s hard not to be affected.

Happy people choose to surround themselves with positive influences – those who uplift, inspire, support and bring out the best in them. They know that happiness is easier to cultivate in a positive environment.

Make sure they’re people who inspire you to be your best self and encourage your happiness.

After all, happiness is not just a personal journey, but one that’s greatly influenced by those around us.

Final thought: It’s in your hands

The journey towards happiness often lies in our own hands. It’s not about waiting for external circumstances to change, but about making conscious choices.

One such choice is to let go of habits that breed negativity and embrace those that foster positivity and contentment.

According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, “40% of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change.”

That means we have a significant say in our own happiness. It’s not just about our circumstances or our genetic makeup, but about how we choose to live our lives.

Avoiding these nine bad habits is a step towards making that choice.

So take some time to reflect on your own habits. Are there any on this list that you need to let go of? Remember, you hold the power to change your habits and ultimately, your happiness.

Happiness, after all, is not just a destination but a journey – one that’s shaped by the choices we make along the way.