8 ways to earn the trust of even the most difficult people

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | December 13, 2024, 6:26 am

Navigating relationships isn’t always a smooth sail. Especially when it comes to earning the trust of those tough nuts to crack. But hey, it’s not impossible.

Trust is earned, not given. It takes consistency, honesty and time. And the smart ones among us know that there are certain strategies that can help you gain trust, even from the most difficult people.

So, sit back and relax as I share with you eight surefire ways to earn the trust of even the most challenging individuals. No manipulation, just genuine relationship building. Let’s dive right in!

1) Be authentic

People have a knack for sniffing out fakeness. And let’s not kid ourselves, the difficult ones? They’ve got a sixth sense for it.

Authenticity is the cornerstone of any trustworthy relationship. It’s about showing up as you are, warts and all, and being consistent in your actions and words.

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Think about it. Would you trust someone who puts on a mask every time they interact with you? Probably not, right?

That’s not to say you should air your dirty laundry to everyone you meet. But it does mean that you should strive to be genuine in your interactions.

Exuding authenticity reassures people that what they see is what they get. No hidden agendas or ulterior motives to worry about.

Remember, trust isn’t built overnight. But being authentic? That’s a solid first step towards earning it.

But remember, authenticity isn’t an excuse to be rude or dismissive. It’s about being real, respectful and reliable.

2) Show empathy

We’ve all heard it a million times, “Put yourself in their shoes”. But how often do we really practice this?

Empathy is essential in building trust. It shows that you understand and share the feelings of others, which can create a deeper connection.

Here’s a personal example. I was dealing with a colleague who was always on the defensive, making it hard for us to get along. Instead of getting frustrated, I tried to understand his perspective. I found out that he had been burnt in the past by other team members and his defensiveness was a protective mechanism.

So, I made a conscious effort to show empathy. I acknowledged his past experiences, validated his feelings and assured him that I had no intentions of repeating those same mistakes. Over time, this approach helped break down his walls and we were able to build a more trusting relationship.

Remember, everyone is fighting their own battles. Showing empathy not only makes others feel understood but also opens up a pathway to their trust.

3) Keep your promises

Promises are like currency in the world of trust. The more you keep, the more trust you accumulate. However, break your promise and you could lose it all in an instant.

In fact, a study from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that trust is more sensitive to negative events (like breaking a promise) than positive ones. This means that breaking a single promise can severely damage or even destroy the trust that took you months or years to build.

So, be careful with your promises. If you’re not sure you can deliver, it’s better not to promise at all. A broken promise is worse than no promise, and it’s a surefire way to lose someone’s trust, especially if that person is already difficult to deal with.

Keep your word, follow through on your commitments, and watch as the seeds of trust start to sprout.

4) Be patient

Patience is more than just a virtue when it comes to earning trust, it’s a necessity. Building trust takes time, especially with difficult people. They may have been hurt in the past or have walls up due to their own insecurities or fears.

You cannot rush trust. It’s like forcing a flower to bloom before it’s ready – you might do more harm than good. Instead, give it time and nurture the relationship.

Be patient with them and with yourself. Show up consistently, keep your promises and demonstrate understanding and empathy. Over time, these small actions can build up and gradually earn their trust.

Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is trust. So be patient and persistent in your efforts.

5) Practice active listening

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, the act of truly listening to someone can often get overlooked. But trust me when I say this – it is one of the most powerful trust-building tools you possess.

Active listening isn’t just about hearing words. It’s about understanding the emotions and intentions behind those words. It’s about providing feedback, asking appropriate questions, and showing the speaker that you’re fully engaged in what they’re saying.

When someone feels heard, they feel valued. And when they feel valued, they are more likely to trust.

So, the next time you’re in a conversation with someone difficult, try this: Put away distractions, lean in, make eye contact and really listen. You may be surprised by how much this simple act can pave the way towards earning their trust.

It’s not always easy, especially when the conversation is tough. But it’s in these moments, when you choose to stay and listen instead of turning away, that trust is truly built.

6) Apologize when you’re wrong

Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. But how we handle them can either build or break trust.

Once, in a rush to meet a deadline, I overlooked a colleague’s input on a project. When I realized my mistake, I didn’t brush it under the rug. Instead, I owned up to it and apologized to her. Not only did this clear the air between us, but it also strengthened her trust in me.

Apologizing when you’re wrong shows humility and respect for the other person’s feelings. It demonstrates that you value the relationship more than your ego.

It can be hard to admit when you’re wrong, especially if you’re dealing with a difficult person. But swallowing your pride and saying “I’m sorry” can go a long way towards earning their trust.

7) Maintain confidentiality

In any relationship, trust is built when sensitive information stays where it’s supposed to – between the individuals involved.

When someone shares something personal with you, it’s often a sign that they trust you. If you misuse this trust by sharing their information without their permission, you’re likely to lose their trust forever.

Maintaining confidentiality shows respect for the person’s privacy and reassures them that they can trust you with their secrets. It’s a clear signal that you can be trusted, even in difficult situations.

So, if someone confides in you, keep it to yourself. It’s as simple as that. By doing so, you’re not only respecting them but also paving your way to their trust.

8) Show consistency

Consistency is arguably the most critical factor in earning someone’s trust. It’s not about grand gestures or one-time acts. It’s about showing up, day in and day out, and being the same trustworthy person you claim to be.

Your actions need to align with your words consistently. This consistency allows people to predict your behavior and feel safe around you, which is key to building trust, especially with difficult people.

Inconsistency can create confusion and doubt, two things that erode trust. So, strive for consistency in your actions, your words, and your intentions. It’s the surest way to earn and maintain the trust of even the most difficult people.

Final thoughts: Trust is a journey

Trust isn’t something that can be rushed or forced. It’s a journey that requires patience, authenticity, empathy, and above all, consistency.

The importance of trust in human relationships cannot be overstated. As social beings, we rely heavily on trust to build meaningful and fruitful relationships.

As Ernest Hemingway famously said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” This quote holds true even when dealing with the most difficult people.

Building trust with such individuals may be challenging, but it’s not impossible. By incorporating these eight strategies into your interactions, you can start to chip away at those walls and pave the path towards a trusting relationship.

At the end of the day, remember that everyone is human with their own fears, insecurities and past experiences that shape their behavior. By understanding this, you’re already one step closer to earning their trust.

So as you navigate your relationships, remember that the journey of trust starts with one small step. Take that step today.