8 types of men who never deserve a second chance, according to psychology

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | December 17, 2024, 3:37 pm

It’s crucial to be able to recognize when a relationship isn’t serving your best interests. Many times, our emotions can cloud our judgment, making us hang on to people who don’t deserve a second chance.

In the world of psychology, there are eight types of men who fall under this category.

These individuals show patterns that, time and time again, prove to be destructive rather than constructive in relationships.

In this article, I’ll reveal these eight types of men, so you can make empowered decisions in your love life.

Let’s get started.

1) The perpetual victim

We all have our share of bad days, but there’s a certain type of man who always seems to be under a cloud. He’s the perpetual victim.

According to psychology, this type of individual rarely takes responsibility for his actions, often blaming others or circumstances for his misfortunes.

He might be charming and sympathetic at first, but over time, his inability to acknowledge his own role in his problems can become draining.

This type of man can pull you into a cycle of negativity that’s hard to escape from. It becomes a case of “you against the world,” with endless battles to fight on his behalf.

The thing is, you’re not his therapist. You’re his partner. And while it’s okay to offer support, it’s not healthy to be constantly embroiled in someone else’s drama.

2) The gaslighter

I’ve been there, and it’s a tough spot to be in. I remember dating a man who would constantly twist reality to make me doubt my own perceptions. He was a classic gaslighter.

He would say things that were hurtful and when I’d confront him about it, he’d convince me that I’d misunderstood or was overreacting. It was like living in a constant state of confusion and self-doubt.

Psychology explains this as gaslighting – a form of psychological manipulation where the abuser makes the victim question their own sanity or perception of reality.

The deeper you get into a relationship with a gaslighter, the more harmful it can become. It’s a form of emotional abuse that can leave lasting scars.

3) The uncommitted type

In the realm of relationships, nothing can be more frustrating than a partner who refuses to commit. This type of man is always on the fence, never fully in or out of the relationship.

Psychologists say that such behavior often stems from a fear of abandonment or rejection. It’s a defense mechanism that keeps them from investing emotionally in a relationship.

Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that individuals with commitment issues are more likely to cheat, further complicating matters.

When involved with this type of man, you’re left in a state of perpetual uncertainty, which can be emotionally exhausting. So if you find yourself with an uncommitted partner, it may be time to rethink whether they’re worth another chance.

4) The serial cheater

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. But when you’re with a man who repeatedly breaches that trust through infidelity, it’s time to reevaluate.

Psychology suggests that serial cheaters often struggle with impulse control and may have a narcissistic streak. They seek instant gratification without considering the consequences of their actions.

The emotional aftermath of cheating can be devastating, and if it’s a recurring pattern, it’s unlikely to change.

If you’ve been betrayed by a serial cheater, you might want to think twice before giving him another shot. Remember, everyone deserves a partner who respects and values their trust.

5) The emotionally unavailable

There’s a certain kind of pain that comes with loving someone who can’t or won’t let you in. The emotionally unavailable man can be one of the toughest to deal with.

He might show flashes of warmth and affection, but when it comes to sharing feelings or discussing deeper issues, he withdraws. This constant push-pull can leave you feeling isolated and unfulfilled.

Psychology tells us that emotional unavailability often stems from past traumas or deep-seated fears of vulnerability. It’s a protective shield, but one that prevents true intimacy.

It’s heartbreaking to invest in a relationship where your emotional needs aren’t being met. If you’re with an emotionally unavailable man, consider if he’s really capable of giving you the love you deserve. A second chance might just lead to more heartache.

6) The narcissist

There’s a world of difference between someone who’s merely confident and someone who’s a full-blown narcissist. I once dated a man who believed the world revolved around him.

Everything was about him. His needs, his feelings, his goals. He had an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for excessive attention and admiration.

This is classic narcissism, a term derived from the myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection. In psychology, narcissism is considered a personality disorder that can be incredibly damaging in a relationship.

Dating a narcissist left me feeling unseen, unheard, and unimportant. And while it was hard to walk away, I realized that my feelings mattered too.

If you’re dealing with a narcissist, remember that everyone deserves to be in a relationship where they feel valued and respected. It might be time to reconsider giving him another chance.

7) The controller

Control can be subtle or overt, but either way, it’s a form of manipulation that has no place in a healthy relationship.

The controlling man needs to have everything his way. He may dictate what you wear, who you spend time with, or even try to control your thoughts and feelings.

Psychology explains this behavior as an expression of deep-seated insecurities. By exerting control, they aim to manage their own fears and anxieties.

However, being with a controlling partner can feel suffocating and rob you of your individuality. It’s important to recognize these signs and realize that you deserve a relationship built on mutual respect and freedom.

So if you’re dealing with a controller, think twice before giving him another chance. You’re worth more than being someone’s puppet.

8) The habitual liar

Honesty is the bedrock of any relationship. But when you’re dealing with a man who lies habitually, it can shake your trust to its core.

A habitual liar will make up stories, twist truths, and even lie about small, inconsequential things. It’s a destructive behavior that creates a web of deceit that’s hard to untangle.

Psychology suggests that chronic lying often stems from a deep-seated desire to manipulate situations to their advantage or to avoid negative consequences.

If you’re in a relationship with a habitual liar, it’s important to know that it’s not your responsibility to fix them or find reasons behind their lies. Everyone deserves honesty and transparency. So if you’re dealing with a habitual liar, it might be time to rethink giving him another chance. The truth is non-negotiable in any relationship.

Final thoughts: The power of self-respect

When navigating relationships, psychology and personal experiences often intertwine, guiding us through the labyrinth of human behavior, emotions, and choices.

One crucial element that surfaces time and again is self-respect.

Self-respect acts as an inner compass, reminding us of our worth and guiding us to make choices that honor and protect our emotional well-being. It empowers us to say no when we find ourselves entangled with men who show patterns of behavior that are destructive rather than constructive.

Whether it’s the perpetual victim, the gaslighter, or the habitual liar, recognizing these patterns is the first step towards making decisions that prioritize your happiness and mental health.

As American novelist and playwright Mark Twain once said, “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

Remember this as you navigate your relationships. Being aware of your worth and demanding respect isn’t just about standing up to others – it’s about standing up for yourself. Because in the end, you deserve a relationship that brings you joy, respect, and genuine love.

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