There’s a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely.

This difference boils down to perspective. Being alone often carries a negative connotation, suggesting a person is isolated or lacking social interaction. But that’s not always the case.

Feeling lonely, on the other hand, is about feeling disconnected and unhappy about it, even when surrounded by others.

Enjoying solitude is about cherishing your own company, about finding peace and satisfaction in being alone without experiencing loneliness.

There are certain traits that people who truly enjoy their solitude possess. And as someone who revels in my own company, I can confidently share these traits with you.

1) Comfort in their own company

Some people may find it strange, but those who genuinely enjoy solitude love their own company.

Sure, they appreciate social interactions and hanging out with friends or family. But they also cherish the moments when it’s just them, their thoughts, and maybe a good book or a hobby.

They’re comfortable being alone because they’ve learned to enjoy their own company. This comfort means they don’t rely on others for entertainment or validation.

They can sit in silence or engage in activities alone without feeling the pang of loneliness. They’ve found contentment in their solitude, embracing the freedom it offers and the opportunities for self-reflection and growth.

And trust me, being able to enjoy your own company is a trait that not only makes solitude more pleasurable but also contributes to overall happiness and well-being. 

2) They value deep connections

It’s a common misconception that those who enjoy solitude are antisocial or do not value connections with others. But in my experience, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Take me, for example. I love my alone time. It’s when I recharge, reflect, and just breathe. But that doesn’t mean I don’t crave meaningful relationships. In fact, I’ve found that my love for solitude has made me value my relationships even more.

Instead of seeking large groups and constant social interaction, I prefer a few deep and meaningful connections. When I interact with my friends or family, I seek quality over quantity. The conversations are more profound, more personal.

I believe that those who genuinely enjoy their solitude are often the ones who can form the deepest bonds because they understand the value of connection and do not take it for granted.

It’s not about being surrounded by people all the time but about having a few people you know you can truly count on.

3) They’re self-aware

People who genuinely enjoy solitude often show a high level of self-awareness. Spending time alone allows for introspection, leading to a better understanding of one’s own emotions, thoughts, and reactions.

Psychologists suggest that self-awareness is a key component of emotional intelligence. It’s the ability to recognize and understand your own character, emotions, desires, and motives. And it’s not just about understanding these aspects, but also about how they affect others.

In solitude, individuals have the space and time to focus on themselves without distraction. This uninterrupted self-focus can lead to a deepened sense of self-awareness.

With this understanding, they can better manage their reactions and emotions in various situations.

4) They find peace in mindfulness

You’ll often find that people who genuinely enjoy solitude have a knack for mindfulness. They’re present in the moment, fully engaged in whatever they’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around them.

This trait is deeply rooted in Buddhist teachings, where mindfulness is a fundamental part of the path to enlightenment.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve into this concept further. I explain how Buddhism teaches the importance of being present and fully aware of our thoughts and actions. This mindful presence is often easier to achieve in moments of solitude.

People who relish their alone time often use it to practice mindfulness, whether it’s through meditation or simply focusing on their thoughts and emotions. This practice not only brings tranquility but also helps them navigate life with a calm and focused mind.

So, if you’re interested in learning more about how to incorporate mindfulness into your life, I invite you to explore my book here. It provides practical insights on living a more balanced and fulfilling life guided by Buddhist principles.

5) They’re not afraid of their thoughts

There’s something that took me a long time to realize: Solitude isn’t just about being alone—it’s also about being alone with your thoughts.

In our fast-paced world, we often try to drown out our thoughts with constant stimulation. But people who genuinely enjoy solitude don’t shy away from their thoughts, even if they’re negative or challenging.

I remember a time when I would avoid silence because it meant being alone with my thoughts. I was afraid of what I might discover, of the feelings that might surface. But over time, I’ve learned to embrace these moments.

In solitude, I’ve confronted my fears, dissected my failures, and celebrated my triumphs. I’ve been surprised, saddened, and even enlightened by my thoughts. It’s been a journey of self-discovery and acceptance.

People who love solitude don’t fear their thoughts; they welcome them. They see them as opportunities for growth and self-improvement. And while it’s not always easy, it’s always rewarding.

6) They’re often more social

Now, you might find this surprising, but people who genuinely enjoy solitude can often be more social than their extroverted counterparts.

Yes, they love their alone time. Yes, they value their solitude. But this doesn’t mean they avoid social situations altogether. In fact, it’s often the opposite.

Because they’re comfortable being alone and have taken the time to understand themselves, they’re often more confident in social settings. They’re not reliant on others for their happiness, which allows them to engage with people in a more relaxed and genuine way.

Additionally, by spending time alone, they often develop a deeper understanding of human nature and are better able to empathize with others. This makes them great listeners and valued friends.

So while it might seem counter-intuitive, don’t be surprised if the friend who loves her alone time is also the life of the party.

7) They have a strong sense of independence

One trait that’s often overlooked but is a significant characteristic of people who enjoy solitude is their strong sense of independence.

These individuals don’t rely on others for entertainment, validation, or even decision-making. They’re comfortable handling things on their own and making decisions without needing constant reassurances from others.

This doesn’t mean they disregard advice or are dismissive of others’ opinions. Instead, they weigh the advice against their own thoughts and feelings before making a decision.

Their independence is also evident in how they spend their time. They have their hobbies and interests that they pursue, not because others are doing it, but because they genuinely enjoy them.

This strong sense of independence allows them to lead fulfilling lives, whether they’re in the company of others or enjoying their solitude.

8) Solitude is a choice, not a necessity

Here’s the key takeaway: People who genuinely enjoy solitude choose to be alone. It’s not a fallback option, it’s not because they have no other choice, and it’s certainly not a necessity.

They choose solitude because they value it. They see the benefits it brings to their lives—self-awareness, peace, independence—and actively make time for it.

Their alone time is intentional and cherished, not a result of circumstance. And it’s this active choice that separates those who simply endure solitude from those who truly enjoy it.

Final thoughts

The journey to genuinely enjoying solitude is deeply personal, and often transformative. It’s about embracing your own company, valuing deep connections, facing your thoughts, and finding peace in mindfulness. It’s about understanding that solitude is not synonymous with loneliness.

Interestingly, it’s often through solitude that we learn to connect more authentically with others. We become more self-aware, more empathetic, and more comfortable in our own skin.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I discuss how Buddhist teachings can guide us in this journey. The principles of mindfulness, introspection, and balance can help you embrace solitude without feeling lonely. It provides a framework for understanding the self and others, enhancing both your solitary moments and your social interactions.

Remember, it’s not about isolating yourself from the world but finding balance. It’s about making a conscious choice to enjoy your own company, while still valuing the connections you have with others.