8 things you’re doing that make people instantly feel uncomfortable around you

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | December 4, 2024, 7:39 am

There’s a thin line between being interesting and making people squirm. It’s about the vibes you give off and your behaviors that can make people feel uneasy around you.

You might not even realize it, but certain things you’re doing could be putting others on edge. It’s not about changing who you are, but about understanding how your actions might be perceived by others.

In this article, we’ll break down 8 things you might be doing that instantly make people feel uncomfortable around you. Don’t worry, we’re all guilty of some of these from time to time, but awareness is the first step to improvement!

1) Dominating the conversation

We all love a good chat, right? But there’s a big difference between engaging in a lively discussion and monopolizing the conversation.

When you’re with others, it’s essential to remember that communication is a two-way street. If you constantly talk over others or only focus on your own experiences, it can make people feel uncomfortable, unheard, and unappreciated.

Everyone has a story to tell. And by allowing others to share, you not only make them feel valued but also learn something new.

When you’re in a social setting, take a step back. Listen more than you speak. You might be surprised by what you hear and how much more at ease people feel around you.

2) Not respecting personal space

One thing I’ve learned over the years is the importance of personal space. I remember a time when I would often stand too close to people while having a conversation, not realizing how much it made them squirm.

There was this one instance at a networking event where I noticed a colleague constantly taking a step back while I was talking to him. It took me a moment to realize that I was invading his personal space and making him uncomfortable.

Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to be mindful of how close I stand or sit next to people. It’s important to remember that everyone has their own comfort zone when it comes to physical proximity, and crossing that boundary can instantly make others feel uneasy.

Give people their space. It’s a small change that can make a big difference in how comfortable people feel around you.

3) Overusing negative language

Language is a powerful tool, and the words we choose to use can significantly impact how others perceive us. Did you know that frequent use of negative language can not only dampen the mood but also make people uncomfortable around you?

Words like “can’t”, “won’t”, “don’t” and phrases like “I hate” or “I dislike” can create a cloud of negativity that people naturally want to avoid. It’s not about being unrealistically positive all the time, but rather about finding a balance and focusing on constructive language.

Instead of saying “I hate this weather”, perhaps say “I prefer when it’s sunny”.

4) Failing to make eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most fundamental aspects of human interaction. It’s a way of showing that you’re engaged, interested, and present in the conversation. However, if you’re constantly looking around the room or checking your phone while someone is talking to you, it sends a clear message that you’re not really interested in what they have to say.

It’s like when you’re telling a story and notice the person you’re speaking to isn’t looking at you – it can make you feel ignored and uncomfortable.

By giving someone your full attention and maintaining appropriate eye contact, you foster a sense of connection and ensure they feel valued and comfortable in your presence.

5) Forgetting to smile

A smile is a universal sign of warmth and friendliness. It’s an unspoken way of saying, “I’m glad to see you.” But when we forget to smile, we can unintentionally come across as cold or unapproachable.

I remember a time when I was going through a tough phase and my usual cheerful demeanor took a backseat. I wore a stern expression most of the time and didn’t realize the impact it had on those around me until a friend pointed it out.

It’s not about putting on a constant facade of happiness, but about showing kindness and openness through our expressions. A genuine smile can make people feel at ease and welcomed in your presence, while its absence can create an uncomfortable atmosphere. So, let’s remember to share our smiles – they’re free after all!

6) Being overly critical

There was a time in my life when I carried the badge of “perfectionist” with pride. I thought it made me strive for excellence. However, I soon realized, it also made me overly critical of others.

I remember attending a friend’s housewarming party and pointing out how the color of the drapes didn’t match the furniture. It seemed like a harmless observation to me, but it left my friend feeling self-conscious and judged.

Being overly critical can quickly make people uncomfortable as it can come across as judgemental and harsh. It’s important to remember that everyone has their own way of doing things, and accepting these differences creates a more comfortable and accepting environment for everyone.

7) Constantly checking your phone

We live in a digital age where our smartphones feel like extensions of ourselves. But being glued to your screen, especially when in the company of others, can make them feel unimportant and uncomfortable.

Imagine this: You’re sharing a story with someone, and they’re constantly glancing at their phone, scrolling through social media or replying to texts. It gives the impression that they’re not interested in what you’re saying, right?

Resisting the urge to constantly check your phone when you’re with others shows that you value their company and are fully engaged in the conversation. It’s a small change that can greatly improve how comfortable people feel around you.

8) Not showing empathy

At the end of the day, we all want to feel understood and valued. When we fail to show empathy in our interactions with others, it can make them feel uncomfortable and unheard.

Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others. It’s about actively listening and responding in a way that shows you genuinely care. When we show empathy, we create an environment where people feel safe, comfortable, and valued.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.