8 things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run, according to psychology

Ava Sinclair by Ava Sinclair | September 9, 2024, 7:23 pm

We often sweat the small stuff, making mountains out of molehills. But ever wondered how many of these things truly matter in the grand scheme of life?

According to psychology, many things we fret over don’t really hold weight in the long run. I’m here to tell you about eight such things.

Let’s journey together, as we delve into these eight aspects that may seem huge now but are mere blips on life’s radar. Trust me, knowing these will help you live a more stress-free and focused life.

1) Keeping up with the Joneses

We’ve all been there, comparing our lives to those around us. Maybe your neighbor just bought a fancy new car, or your best friend got promoted. And suddenly, you feel inadequate.

This is known as “Keeping up with the Joneses,” a societal pressure to maintain or exceed the status quo. It’s a vicious cycle of comparison and competition, often leading to unnecessary stress and financial strain.

However, this constant comparison doesn’t matter in the long run. What matters is your happiness and personal growth, not how you stack up against others.

So next time you find yourself in the comparison trap, take a step back. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and success can’t be measured by someone else’s yardstick.

Stay true to your path, and trust me, you’ll be happier for it.

2) Chasing perfection

I remember the days when I was obsessed with being perfect. Everything had to be just right – from my work to my home, even my appearance. I believed that any flaw or mistake meant failure.

I’d spend hours laboring over a task, trying to achieve an unattainable standard of perfection. It was mentally and physically draining.

It was only when I stumbled upon a psychology article that I realized the futility of chasing perfection. It doesn’t equate to success or happiness. In fact, it often leads to burnout and dissatisfaction.

Psychology tells us that perfection is a mirage. It’s not about being flawless, but about accepting our imperfections and learning from our mistakes.

Now, I embrace my flaw and focus on progress, not perfection. Life’s been a lot more rewarding since then.

3) Accumulating material possessions

In a consumer-driven society, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the more we have, the happier we’ll be. We’re constantly bombarded with advertisements telling us that we need the latest gadget, the newest car, or the trendiest clothes to feel fulfilled.

But here’s the truth: a study found that people who place a high value on material wealth are generally less satisfied with their lives.

Material possessions are fleeting. They break, go out of style, or get replaced by newer models. What truly brings lasting happiness are experiences, relationships, and personal growth.

So, instead of accumulating things, invest in experiences. Travel, learn a new skill, make meaningful connections. These are what truly enrich our lives and matter in the long run.

4) Holding grudges

We’ve all experienced hurt and betrayal at some point in our lives. And it’s natural to feel anger and resentment towards the person who caused us pain. But holding onto these grudges doesn’t serve us in the long run.

Psychology tells us that harboring resentment can have a negative impact on our mental and physical health. It can lead to chronic stress, which in turn can lead to a plethora of health issues like heart disease and depression.

More importantly, holding a grudge keeps you stuck in the past, preventing you from moving forward and finding peace.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is liberating. It doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or excusing the person’s actions. It means choosing to let go of the bitterness for your own wellbeing.

So, release those grudges. Not for them, but for you. It’s one of the best things you can do for yourself in the long run.

5) Fear of rejection

Fear of rejection is a deeply ingrained human instinct. We’re social creatures, and the need to belong is hardwired into our DNA. But letting this fear dictate our lives doesn’t serve us in the long run.

Rejection stings, there’s no doubt about it. But it’s also an integral part of life. You see, every rejection is an opportunity for growth. It gives us the chance to re-evaluate our path, learn from our mistakes, and come back stronger.

Rather than fearing rejection, we should embrace it. See it not as a failure, but as a stepping stone to success. Because in the grand scheme of things, it’s not the rejections that define us, but how we rise after falling.

6) Seeking approval from others

For a long time, I was a people-pleaser. I would go out of my way to seek validation from others, often at the expense of my own happiness. I thought that if everyone around me approved of my actions and decisions, it meant I was on the right track.

But over time, I realized that constantly seeking approval was draining me emotionally. It was a never-ending cycle, as there will always be someone who disagrees with your choices.

Psychology has shown that seeking external validation can lead to low self-esteem and increased stress. What truly matters is not what others think of you, but what you think of yourself.

Now, I focus on being true to myself and making decisions based on what makes me happy and fulfilled. This shift in perspective has made a significant difference in my overall wellbeing.

7) Living in the past

We all have moments from our past that we wish we could change. Missed opportunities, failed relationships, poor decisions – they can all haunt us if we let them.

However, dwelling on the past doesn’t change it. It only robs us of our present happiness and potentially brighter future.

Psychology suggests that ruminating on past events can lead to depression and anxiety. On the contrary, focusing on the present and planning for the future can contribute to our overall wellbeing.

So, let go of what was and focus on what can be. Use your past experiences as lessons to guide you in making better decisions moving forward.

Remember, it’s not about where you’ve been, but where you’re going. That’s what truly matters in the long run.

8) Fear of change

Change is inevitable. It’s a fundamental part of life. Yet, many of us fear it and resist it with all our might.

Fear of change can keep us stuck in a rut, preventing us from reaching our full potential. It can stop us from taking risks and pursuing our dreams.

But here’s the thing – change is often the catalyst for growth. It pushes us out of our comfort zones and opens up new possibilities.

So, don’t fear change. Embrace it. It’s the only way to truly evolve and progress in life.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s not the fear of change that matters, but how we adapt and grow through it. That’s the essence of life.