Love can be a tricky thing to navigate, but there are certain signs that can help you understand if what you’re feeling is genuine.

As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I’ve spent years studying these signs and understanding the psychology behind them.

Genuine love isn’t always about grand gestures and passionate declarations. Sometimes, it’s about the subtle actions that show how much someone truly cares for you. It’s the little things that often speak the loudest.

In this article, I’m going to share with you 8 subtle signs that you genuinely love each other, according to psychology. These are quiet indicators that love is real and strong, even when it’s not being shouted from the rooftops.

Let’s get started. 

1) You celebrate each other’s successes

In many relationships, it’s easy to get caught up in your own world and forget to support your partner. But if you truly love each other, you’re not only aware of each other’s successes, but you celebrate them.

Psychologists call this “active constructive responding”, a term coined by Shelly Gable, a professor of psychology at the University of California. It refers to the enthusiastic support you give your partner when they share good news with you.

Think about it. When your partner comes home with exciting news, do you respond with genuine enthusiasm and joy? Or do you brush it off as no big deal?

Active constructive responding is a subtle sign of genuine love because it shows that you care about your partner’s happiness as much as your own.

2) You communicate openly

When I was starting out as a relationship expert, one of the first things I learned was the importance of open communication. It’s such a vital part of any relationship and yet, it’s often overlooked.

In a genuinely loving relationship, you’re not afraid to express your feelings or discuss difficult topics. You feel safe and comfortable sharing your thoughts with your partner, because you know they’re there to listen and understand.

As the late great Maya Angelou once said, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” And trust me, open communication is the most effective tool to break down those barriers.

Open communication doesn’t just mean talking about your day. It also involves discussing your dreams, fears, and even insecurities with each other. It’s about being honest, even when it’s hard. This honesty and openness is a subtle but powerful sign of genuine love.

3) You respect each other’s individuality

In my years of experience as a relationship expert, and especially while writing my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I’ve come to understand the importance of maintaining individuality even in a close relationship.

Genuine love doesn’t mean losing yourself in the relationship. Instead, it involves respecting each other’s independence and individuality. You cherish each other’s unique qualities and you encourage each other to pursue personal interests and goals.

When you’re truly in love, your partner’s individuality doesn’t threaten the relationship, but rather, it enhances it. You find joy in seeing your partner grow as an individual, and you support them every step of the way.

Respecting each other’s individuality might be subtle, but it’s a significant sign of genuine love. For more insights on maintaining individuality and overcoming codependency in relationships, I invite you to check out my book. It’s packed with valuable tips and advice that can help you build a healthier, more satisfying relationship.

4) You are okay with disagreements

Now, this might seem counterintuitive, but hear me out. Disagreements in a relationship are not always a bad sign. In fact, they can be an indication of genuine love.

When you truly love someone, you feel safe enough to voice your opinions, even when they differ from your partner’s. You understand that disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, and you see them as an opportunity to learn more about each other and grow together.

In a genuinely loving relationship, disagreements are handled with respect and understanding. You listen to your partner’s perspective, and even if you don’t agree, you validate their feelings.

So yes, it’s okay to disagree. What matters is how you handle these disagreements. After all, love isn’t about finding a perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

5) You prioritize each other’s needs

One of the most heartwarming signs of genuine love I’ve noticed in my own relationship and those of my clients is the willingness to prioritize each other’s needs.

When you’re truly in love, your partner’s happiness becomes your happiness. You go out of your way to meet their needs, sometimes even before they express them. It could be as simple as making their favorite breakfast on a Sunday morning, or as significant as making career choices that will benefit your shared future.

This isn’t about being self-sacrificing to the point of losing yourself – remember point 3 about respecting individuality. It’s about finding joy in giving, in seeing your loved one happy and content.

The willingness to prioritize each other’s needs is a subtle sign of genuine love, and it’s one of the most beautiful things you can experience in a relationship.

6) You can be vulnerable with each other

Let’s get real for a moment. Being in love means allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It means showing your partner your fears, your insecurities, and even your flaws.

It’s not always comfortable, and it’s not always easy. But in a genuinely loving relationship, you trust that your partner will hold this vulnerability with care. You know they won’t judge you or use it against you.

Being able to cry in front of each other, share your deepest secrets, or admit when you’re wrong shows a level of trust and intimacy that’s indicative of genuine love.

Yes, love can be raw and messy at times. But it’s in these honest moments that love truly shines brightest.

7) You forgive each other

We all make mistakes. We’re human, after all. In my own relationship and throughout my career as a relationship expert, I’ve seen how forgiveness can transform a relationship.

When you genuinely love someone, you’re willing to forgive them. You understand that mistakes are an opportunity for growth, not a reason to hold grudges.

When your partner messes up, and they will, remember this quote. Genuine love means choosing to forgive, to let go of the past and focus on the future together.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning harmful behavior. It means acknowledging the mistake, working through it together, and choosing to move forward. This willingness to forgive is a subtle yet powerful sign of genuine love.

8) You accept each other, flaws and all

Here’s the raw truth: no one is perfect. We all come with our quirks, habits, and flaws. But in a genuinely loving relationship, you accept each other as you are.

This acceptance goes beyond tolerance. It means loving your partner because of their imperfections, not despite them. It means seeing the beauty in their quirks and understanding that their flaws make them the person you love.

In a world that’s constantly pushing us to be ‘perfect,’ accepting someone as they are is a rare and precious thing. And it’s one of the most profound signs of genuine love.

Love isn’t about finding a flawless person. It’s about seeing an imperfect person perfectly. And when you can look at your partner, with all their flaws and quirks, and think ‘I wouldn’t change a thing’ – that’s when you know it’s genuine love.

Conclusion

As we’ve explored these eight subtle signs, remember that genuine love is as beautiful as it is complex. It’s about celebrating each other’s successes, communicating openly, respecting individuality, handling disagreements, prioritizing needs, being vulnerable, forgiving, and accepting each other’s flaws.

These signs may be subtle, but they’re incredibly powerful in cultivating a deep and meaningful connection. Love isn’t always about the grand gestures; sometimes, it’s the quiet acts of love that truly count.

If you want to explore more about maintaining individuality and overcoming codependency in relationships, I invite you to check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s packed with insights and practical tips that can help you build a healthier and more satisfying relationship.

Remember, love is a journey of discovery – about your partner and yourself. So enjoy the journey!