Being calm isn’t about putting on a serene facade while chaos reigns within. It’s about maintaining an inner peace even when the world around you is spinning out of control.

Exceptionally calm people have small habits that they follow religiously, not because they’re trying to impress anyone, but because these habits help them maintain their equanimity.

In this article, I’m going to let you in on eight of these habits, all backed by psychology.

Let’s dive in. 

1) Embrace stillness

In this fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in a whirlwind of activity. But not for the exceptionally calm people. They understand the power of stillness.

How often do we take a break from the constant rush? Not just physically, but mentally too. It’s rare, isn’t it? But that’s exactly what stillness is all about.

Stillness isn’t about being idle; it’s about creating a mental space where you can disconnect from the noise and chaos. It’s about being present, being mindful of the moment.

Research in psychology shows that mindfulness, a key component of stillness, can reduce stress and anxiety. It allows us to observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment, which is crucial for maintaining inner peace.

Take a cue from calm people and make time for stillness every day. Whether it’s through meditation, mindfulness practices, or simply sitting quietly for a few moments, embrace the power of stillness. It could be your first step towards a calmer disposition.

It’s not about doing nothing. It’s about being fully present in the nothingness. That’s where genuine tranquility lies.

2) Practice acceptance

This one is a hard pill to swallow, but it’s also an invaluable lesson I’ve learned from my years studying Buddhism and mindfulness.

Exceptionally calm people have learned the art of acceptance. They understand that life is full of ups and downs, and they accept this reality without resistance.

Resisting or denying what’s happening only adds to our stress and discomfort. Acceptance, on the other hand, allows us to navigate life’s turbulence with grace and composure.

As Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh famously said, “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.”

Of course, acceptance doesn’t mean we become passive or give up on change. It means we acknowledge the present moment as it is, without trying to force it into what we want it to be.

Acceptance might feel challenging initially, but the more you practice, the more you’ll find yourself at peace with whatever life throws your way. 

3) Cultivate compassion

While it might not seem directly related to calmness, compassion is a cornerstone of Buddhist wisdom and plays a significant role in maintaining inner peace.

Exceptionally calm people understand the importance of treating others, and themselves, with kindness and understanding. They know that negative emotions like anger, resentment, or harsh self-criticism only disturb their peace of mind.

Compassion fosters empathy and understanding, helping us to be less reactive and more balanced in our responses to others’ actions or our own mistakes. It’s about acknowledging the shared human experience – the fact that we all struggle and suffer in some way.

Instead of getting caught up in the whirlwind of negative emotions, exceptionally calm people approach difficult situations with a compassionate mindset. They allow themselves to feel, to empathize, and to respond with kindness.

The compassion you extend towards others inevitably finds its way back to you, amplifying your sense of peace and calmness.

4) Develop a mindful approach

Being mindful is not just about sitting in silence and focusing on your breath. It’s a way of life. Exceptionally calm people understand this and incorporate mindfulness into their everyday routines.

Mindfulness is all about being present, fully engaged with whatever we’re doing at the moment. It’s about paying attention to our thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment.

This might sound simple, but in practice, it can be quite challenging. We’re often so caught up in our past regrets or future anxieties that we forget to live in the present.

But here’s the thing: when we’re fully present, we’re less likely to get swept up in worries that might disturb our peace of mind. We’re more aware of our reactions and can choose to respond calmly and rationally rather than impulsively.

Develop a mindful approach. Whether you’re eating, walking, working, or even doing chores, try to stay fully engaged with the task at hand. Not only will it enhance your sense of calm, but it will also make your everyday experiences more enriching and enjoyable.

5) Live with minimal ego

When we let our egos drive our actions and reactions, it often leads to conflict, stress, and a sense of unease. But the exceptionally calm folk? They’ve mastered the art of living with minimal ego.

This is a concept I delve into deeply in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. The idea here is to take your ego out of the equation. Stop using the words “I”, “me”, or “mine” so frequently.

When we reduce our ego, we become less attached to outcomes and more accepting of what life presents us. We become more understanding, more forgiving, and most importantly, more at peace.

Try to live with minimal ego. It’s not about denying your personal needs or ambitions. It’s about recognizing that you’re part of a bigger picture and not letting your self-importance disturb your inner peace. Trust me, it’s a game-changer.

6) Practice detachment

Detachment is a central concept in Buddhism and mindfulness practices, and it’s a key habit of exceptionally calm people.

We often cling to our desires, our fears, our possessions, our relationships, and even our own identities. But all this clinging leads to suffering. It creates a constant state of tension as we fear losing what we have or not getting what we want.

Calm people understand this. They practice detachment, not in the sense of becoming indifferent or unfeeling, but by letting go of this clinging. They realize that everything is impermanent and that holding on too tightly only leads to stress and distress.

They allow life to flow naturally, without trying to control or manipulate outcomes. They accept change as an inevitable part of life and adapt with grace and flexibility.

It’s certainly not easy, but try to notice where you’re holding on too tightly and consciously choose to let go. It’s liberating and can be a major step towards achieving genuine peace and calmness.

7) Cultivate gratitude

Gratitude might seem like an unlikely trait of calm people, but it plays a crucial role in maintaining a peaceful mindset.

When we’re grateful, we focus on what we have rather than what we lack. We appreciate the positive aspects of our life, which elevates our mood and reduces stress and anxiety.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, a renowned mindfulness expert once said, “Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn’t more complicated than that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.”

Calm people don’t just practice gratitude when things are going well; they cultivate gratitude for their challenges too. They understand that every experience offers a chance to learn and grow.

Make a habit of expressing gratitude daily. Whether you write in a gratitude journal or simply take a moment to acknowledge your blessings, cultivating gratitude can have a profound impact on your overall sense of calm and contentment.

8) Welcome discomfort

Now, this might sound counterintuitive. How can welcoming discomfort lead to calmness? But hear me out.

Exceptionally calm people don’t shy away from uncomfortable situations or feelings. They welcome them. Why? Because they understand that discomfort is a part of life, and avoiding it only amplifies the distress.

Mindfulness teaches us to observe our feelings without judgment, even the uncomfortable ones. Instead of resisting or avoiding discomfort, we can learn to sit with it, observe it, and let it pass naturally.

When we do this, we stop being at the mercy of our emotions. We gain control over our reactions and maintain our inner peace even when faced with challenges.

When you encounter an uncomfortable situation or feeling, don’t run away. Welcome it. Observe it. Learn from it. You might be surprised at how this approach can enhance your resilience and bring about a sense of calmness.

Conclusion

It’s not about being perfect or becoming a Zen master overnight. It’s about taking small steps towards a calmer, more peaceful existence.

These habits are not just tips; they’re a way of life. They require practice and patience, but the rewards are immense.

If you’d like to delve deeper into some of these concepts, I invite you to check out my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. It’s packed with practical insights and exercises that can help you cultivate these habits and live with more calm and less ego.

In the meantime, start implementing these habits into your daily routine. Embrace stillness. Practice acceptance. Cultivate compassion and gratitude. Live with minimal ego. Welcome discomfort. And above all, be mindful.