Sometimes in life, holding onto a relationship can do more harm than good.

As the founder of the Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I’ve seen it time and time again.

The truth is, knowing when to let go can be just as important as knowing when to hold on. It’s about understanding when a relationship is contributing to your growth and happiness, or when it’s stifling it.

In this article, I’ll take you through 8 scenarios where letting go might be the healthier option. These aren’t easy decisions to make, but sometimes they’re the necessary ones for your overall wellbeing.

So sit back and read on. It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes.

1) Emotional drain

Relationships are meant to add value to our lives, not deplete us. If you find yourself consistently emotionally drained after spending time with your partner, it’s a serious red flag.

Frustration, sadness, anxiety – these are not the feelings that should dominate a healthy relationship. Yes, every relationship has its ups and downs, but the overall trend should be towards happiness and fulfillment, not exhaustion and dread.

We often confuse love with habit, especially in long-term relationships. But remember, just because you’re used to something does not mean it’s good for you.

So take a step back and evaluate your feelings objectively. If your relationship is more draining than energizing, it might be time to reconsider its value in your life.

2) Respect is missing

As a relationship expert, I can confidently tell you that respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you or your partner consistently disrespect each other, it’s a definite sign that the relationship is not serving you well.

Disrespect can come in various forms. It could be constant criticism, demeaning comments, or even actions that undermine your self-esteem. It’s not always as obvious as outright verbal or physical abuse.

No matter how angry or upset you are, treating each other with respect should always be a non-negotiable.

So take a moment to reflect. If respect is not a cornerstone in your relationship, it may be time to let go and find a relationship where you’ll be valued and respected for who you are.

3) Codependency takes control

In my career and in my personal life, I’ve seen how destructive codependency can be. It’s when one partner sacrifices their own needs and well-being to fulfill the needs of the other.

This imbalance often leads to resentment, emotional turmoil, and can hinder personal growth.

My book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship dives deeper into this topic and provides actionable advice on how to break free from this unhealthy pattern. If you’re interested, you can find my book on Amazon here.

The key is to remember that love shouldn’t require you to lose yourself or your independence. Your feelings, needs, and dreams are just as important as your partner’s. If you find yourself constantly putting their needs before yours, it might be time to reassess.

Remember, it’s not just about being in a relationship, but being in a healthy one that allows both of you to grow individually and together.

4) When love is still present

It may seem counterintuitive, but sometimes, even when love is still present, it’s healthier to let go of a relationship. Love is a powerful emotion, but love alone isn’t enough to sustain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

If there are fundamental differences that you and your partner cannot reconcile, or if the relationship is causing more pain than joy, even the presence of love may not be enough to hold it together.

It’s tough to let go when you still have strong feelings for someone. But remember, true love also involves wanting the best for the other person – even if that means letting them go.

Think of it this way: just because you love someone doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you. And acknowledging that can be one of the most difficult, yet bravest things you can do for yourself and your happiness.

5) The relationship hinders your personal growth

Personal growth is a crucial part of life. It’s about striving to become a better version of yourself. But if your relationship is hindering rather than helping your growth, it’s time to reassess.

When I was younger, I stayed in a relationship that was comfortable but wasn’t pushing me to grow. I realized that I was just going through the motions and wasn’t truly happy.

It was tough, but the decision to move on allowed me to focus on my personal development.

A healthy relationship should inspire you to grow and become better. It should challenge you, excite you, and make you feel alive.

If instead it’s making you feel stuck or is preventing you from reaching your full potential, it might be a sign that you need to let go.

It’s tough, but sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is choose yourself and your own growth.

6) You’re justifying their bad behavior

Let’s be raw and honest here. If you find yourself constantly making excuses for your partner’s bad behavior, it’s a clear sign that something is not right.

Whether it’s lying, cheating, neglect, or any form of abuse, these are not things you should be justifying or normalizing. You deserve respect and honesty, and any form of maltreatment is a blatant disregard of these basic relationship expectations.

It can be difficult to admit that the person you care about is treating you poorly, especially when you’re emotionally invested in them.

But remember, you cannot change someone’s behavior or fix them – they need to want to change themselves.

You deserve someone who respects you and treats you with kindness. If that’s not happening, it’s time to think about moving on. It might be painful in the short term, but your future self will thank you for it.

7) You’re no longer happy

Happiness is subjective and looks different for everyone. But one thing that’s universal is that your relationship should contribute to your happiness, not take away from it.

In my own experience, I’ve learned that staying in a relationship where you’re no longer happy can be more damaging in the long run. It’s like living in a state of constant dissatisfaction, which can have severe emotional and mental effects.

If you find that your unhappiness is primarily coming from your relationship, it might be time to reevaluate and consider letting go for the sake of your overall well-being.

8) Your gut is telling you it’s time

This one might be the rawest and most honest signal yet.

Sometimes, despite all logic and reasoning, your gut instinct simply tells you it’s time to let go.

This internal feeling can be hard to define, but it’s often a combination of intuition, past experiences, and subconscious observations. It’s that unsettling feeling that something just isn’t right, or that inexplicable heaviness that lingers even when things seem okay on the surface.

Ignoring your gut feeling can lead to regret and resentment in the long run. Trusting your instincts is a powerful act of self-care and self-respect.

So if deep down, you feel like it’s time to move on – listen to that voice. It’s not easy, but honoring your feelings can lead you to the path where you’re meant to be.

Final thoughts

In short, letting go of a relationship can be one of the toughest decisions you’ll ever make. But remember, it’s important to put your well-being first. You deserve a relationship that contributes to your happiness, growth, and self-esteem.

If you’ve identified with any of these situations, it might be time to reassess your relationship. 

For more in-depth advice on overcoming codependency and fostering healthier relationships, check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It’s okay to choose yourself. In fact, it’s necessary. Because at the end of the day, your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.